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Self Respect vs Responsibility
Comments
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Each to their own ofcourse, but saying that a female should damage limitation herself in order to avoid the risk of rape, so essentially saying that she is at fault is :mad:, and then denies it and tries to make me look as if I'm an idiot!
That is not what I am saying at all.
No woman is at fault if she is actually raped. However, to put yourself in a situation where that becomes more likely, such as to be so drunk that you have no recollection or self control, or to stray away from friends and be isolated in a remote place is simply stupid. And to be avoided and cautioned against by any responsible parent.0 -
I accept your right to an opinion but I don't need to agree with them, what's unfeminist about that?
You are not owning your opinions, you deny what you say that's an issue.
A Woman should be able to walk about in a mini skirt at midnight without the fear of being raped, it's Men who should be taught about self respect for females in this subject.
Yes she should but the reality is different.
You can teach men all you like about respect for females there will still be rapists and the like. Research has shown that the brains of some criminals are wired differently to most peoples.
Unfortunately the sad reality is that if my daughter gets drunk and lies in the gutter all night, the chances are that something bad will happen to her. She may die of the cold, be assaulted or have her bag stolen.
I prefer to advise her against doing this rather than her doing what she likes and taking that risk.0 -
POPPYOSCAR wrote: »Research has shown that the brains of some criminals are wired differently to most peoples.
I watched an interesting documentary a while back about offenders and their thought processes. (I've tried to Google to see if I could find anything related to it but can't, sadly.)
They were shown pictures of women, all different shapes, sizes, ages, dress sense, stance (if they were 'posing' or just standing normally) and in every case the men reckoned the tartily clad 'posers' were 'asking for it'.
They simply didn't seem to think the way 'normal' men would.
I don't understand why some people can discount clothing or behaviour as a trigger for some men.
Obviously this is a different type of trigger than the one that seems to apply to men who rape their partners or work colleagues or other women they know. But the fact remains, it is still a trigger for some.Herman - MP for all!0 -
However, to put yourself in a situation where that becomes more likely, such as to be so drunk that you have no recollection or self control, or to stray away from friends and be isolated in a remote place is simply stupid. And to be avoided and cautioned against by any responsible parent.
And this is not sexist or blaming women for what happens to them because our sons have been given exactly the same advice.0 -
That is not what I am saying at all.
No woman is at fault if she is actually raped. However, to put yourself in a situation where that becomes more likely, such as to be so drunk that you have no recollection or self control, or to stray away from friends and be isolated in a remote place is simply stupid. And to be avoided and cautioned against by any responsible parent.
But the point is that such a situation does not make rape more likely.
Possibly it might make some kinds of sexual assault more likely but it will not make rape more likely because most rapes are not committed in those kinds of circumstances.
It's a shame you and others do not seem to be able to understand this important point.
If we continue to peddle the myth that only drunken slappers in dark isolated places get raped then we continue to condone those men who rape in the very different circumstances people including myself have already explained. And by doing that, we also continue to apportion some or even all of the blame to the woman. This is what is meant by rape culture.:cool: DFW Nerd Club member 023...DFD 9.2.2007 :cool::heartpuls married 21 6 08 :A Angel babies' birth dates 3.10.08 * 4.3.11 * 11.11.11 * 17.3.12 * 2.7.12 :heart2: My live baby's birth date 22 7 09 :heart2: I'm due another baby at the end of July 2014! :j
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skintchick wrote: »But the point is that such a situation does not make rape more likely.
Possibly it might make some kinds of sexual assault more likely but it will not make rape more likely because most rapes are not committed in those kinds of circumstances.
It's a shame you and others do not seem to be able to understand this important point.
If we continue to peddle the myth that only drunken slappers in dark isolated places get raped then we continue to condone those men who rape in the very different circumstances people including myself have already explained. And by doing that, we also continue to apportion some or even all of the blame to the woman. This is what is meant by rape culture.
Where has that been said?0 -
skintchick wrote: »But the point is that such a situation does not make rape more likely.
Possibly it might make some kinds of sexual assault more likely but it will not make rape more likely because most rapes are not committed in those kinds of circumstances.
It's a shame you and others do not seem to be able to understand this important point.
Whilst Googling, I have found stats which say 73% of women are raped by partners or people known to them. Clearly clothing or behaviour will having nothing to do with whether women were raped or not in these situations.
However, this still leaves 27% of women who are raped by strangers.
I have no doubt that this 27% will contain the very offenders that I spoke of earlier (in the documentary).
I do understand and accept what you are saying, but you do seem to be almost completely dismissing other thoughts and negating the idea that dress or behaviour is ever in any way an issue.Herman - MP for all!0 -
skintchick wrote: »It's a shame you and others do not seem to be able to understand this important point.
If we continue to peddle the myth that only drunken slappers in dark isolated places get raped then we continue to condone those men who rape in the very different circumstances people including myself have already explained. And by doing that, we also continue to apportion some or even all of the blame to the woman. This is what is meant by rape culture.
You are not the only person on these boards who has experienced rape or other sexual assaults.
Just because it happened to you in a particular situation does not mean that we shouldn't advise our children about ways of keeping safe in a range of situations. We gave ours advice about keeping safe when they are out and about as well as advice about managing other situations.
Most child abuse happens within the family. I still gave my children advice about not going off with strangers.0 -
I wasn't referring to my rape when I said that.:cool: DFW Nerd Club member 023...DFD 9.2.2007 :cool::heartpuls married 21 6 08 :A Angel babies' birth dates 3.10.08 * 4.3.11 * 11.11.11 * 17.3.12 * 2.7.12 :heart2: My live baby's birth date 22 7 09 :heart2: I'm due another baby at the end of July 2014! :j
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You are not the only person on these boards who has experienced rape or other sexual assaults.
Just because it happened to you in a particular situation does not mean that we shouldn't advise our children about ways of keeping safe in a range of situations. We gave ours advice about keeping safe when they are out and about as well as advice about managing other situations.
Most child abuse happens within the family. I still gave my children advice about not going off with strangers.
When I was living on my own I was out with a group of friends one night and one of them gave me a lift home. It was very late and he was tired so I said he could stay the night in a spare room.
In the middle of the night he came into my room and tried to have sex with me. I had to fight him off and thankfully in the end he got the message and left.
He should never have done this, I did not think he would do such a thing, but he did.
Needless to say I never put myself in that position again.0
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