Self Respect vs Responsibility

Mojisola

preciousillusions wrote: »

There's no degree of victim blaming associated with theft like there is with rape and sexual assault. It's damaging and sadly affects conviction rates. But I can see arguing about this is not really constructive.

I think you'll find there is. People will say "Well, you shouldn't have left it out where it could be seen. You shouldn't have put the packaging for your new xxx out for recycling. You should have double-locked the door. You should have left a light on so the house didn't look empty" and so on.

Insurance companies will certainly look to reduce your payout if they consider you have contributed in any way to the loss.

thatgirlsam

I don't like the comparison between rape and theft of property. It's chalk and cheese imo

preciousillusions

^yes.

BugglyB wrote: »

I think what you're talking about is not victim blaming.

The taxi example you gave. Another example I can think of is warning people about boiler room scams. Its not to say its their fault if it does happen to them, its to make them aware this is a specific type of crime with a specific MO.

Victim blaming would be, for example, a jury thinking, well she went home with him so she must have been up for it, or someone saying 'she was asking for it' or 'stupid girl, what was she doing out at that time anyway'. I once knew of someone who was raped at 2am between her taxi and her front door. Some people would have said it was her own fault - thats victim blaming.

It's IMPLICIT victim blaming. It puts the responsibility for preventing the crime on the potential victim!

Mojisola, yes perhaps, but it's no way near the personal, damaging degree of blame that goes on with this type of crime (rape, sexual assault). Surely you can see that? Also, the boiler scam thing, I think that's something people do need to be made aware of, but do we really need to be told not to get into unlicensed taxi's? Those adverts are just patronising only serve a negative purpose imo. Please read the article I linked if you haven't already .

delain

BugglyB wrote: »

Yeah - somewhere there in sex education has to be the message to girls that sex is supposed to be something you enjoy, that adults do it because they like the way it feels! And that if its painful or humiliating - you're doing it wrong! Even if that is what your boyfriend has seen in some porno!

I haven't read the rest of the thread but this post is very true.

I have been affected by this in that every boyfriend previous to this one were exposed to !!!!!! at an early age, and have been told many times that i am frigid because there are things I'm not comfortable with, and because its on !!!!!! apparently all girls will love it when they try it and its ok to force them to do it :mad:

lostinrates

preciousillusions wrote: »

^yes.



It's IMPLICIT victim blaming. It puts the responsibility for preventing the crime on the potential victim!

Mojisola, yes perhaps, but it's no way near the personal, damaging degree of blame that goes on with this type of crime (rape, sexual assault). Surely you can see that? Also, the boiler scam thing, I think that's something people do need to be made aware of, but do we really need to be told not to get into unlicensed taxi's? Those adverts are just patronising only serve a negative purpose imo. Please read the article I linked if you haven't already .

If people do not need to be told the dangers of unlicenced taxis then would unlicenced taxis not be out of existance?

preciousillusions

^Mistakes happen, perpetrators can be very clever and and when your drunk, tired on your feet and just want to get home, sadly I'd imagine any advert you might see isn't going to make one jot of difference. However if you've just been raped in such a situation and see that advert, how are you going to feel? Stupid. At blame.

lostinrates

preciousillusions wrote: »

^Mistakes happen, perpetrators can be very clever and and when your drunk, tired on your feet and just want to get home, sadly I'd imagine any advert you might see isn't going to make one jot of difference. However if you've just been raped in such a situation and see that advert, how are you going to feel? Stupid. At blame.

I have often wanted to get home late atnigut after a night out, and those adverts have made me think twice more than once.

I am afraid whilst personal tact is a must i would not cease adverts to prevent new victims in order to protect sensitivities of those already violated.

preciousillusions

Fair enough. But you still aren't getting my point at all. Such adverts can be done differently.

lostinrates

preciousillusions wrote: »

Fair enough. But you still aren't getting my point at all. Such adverts can be done differently.

I am not certain it is that i am not getting you point more that i do not unequivocalLy agree with it.

poet123

preciousillusions wrote: »

Fair enough. But you still aren't getting my point at all. Such adverts can be done differently.

They need to be done in the way that gets the point across to those who at that point have choice, before that choice is over ridden. Rapists are rapists they excercise a choice but they have no vested interest in changing that choice.

Pointing this out to a potential victim is not putting the blame onto them, it is helping them make safer choices.