I'm at the end of my tether!!

Horasio

Roz_V wrote: »

I know I am

CCStar, glad things seem much more positive for you today. I hope the current trend of onwards and upwards continues :grouphug:

Thank you

It's a start, hopefully things will move and be more peaceful whilst waiting.

elona

What a very apt user name!

Crazychik

Untill you've joined in the daily thread, how can you judge 1 person's post!

Ccstar is certainly a more wiser person than yourself!

You can be married and be a single mum. Especially if the husband works away from home or offers no support what so ever! Thats just the same as being single.

Give the OP a break!

lebly

dont think he gives anyone a break!

Oldernotwiser must be scarey up so high on that pedastall of yours becareful you dont fall!

I have been very dissapointed by your lack of support or encouragement. CCstar needed help, support and advise which is what this site is about not point scoring and nastiness. This sort of attitude leaves a very bitter taste!

Sorry you have had to face such abuse ccstar, unfortunatley some people do tend to resort to bullying particularly in later life, and to do so via the internet is the most cowardly way of all as you do not even have to face the person you are bullying.

Addiscomber

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I can't see how you you can be a single parent and married at the same time; the two things are mutually exclusive!

I have read this thread from beginning to end and had no trouble whatsoever understanding the OP's comments and reasoning as to why she didn't want to become a single parent.

I spotted this on another board

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Get real and read people's posts more carefully; some of us spend some time expressing what we think and it's annoying that others don't take the same care in reading it.

Time for someone to take their own advice methinks.

nearlyrich

Glad you are getting things sorted CCStar, take no notice of the bullies and look after yourself.

Horasio

lebly wrote: »

dont think he gives anyone a break!

Oldernotwiser must be scarey up so high on that pedastall of yours becareful you dont fall!

I have been very dissapointed by your lack of support or encouragement. CCstar needed help, support and advise which is what this site is about not point scoring and nastiness. This sort of attitude leaves a very bitter taste!

Sorry you have had to face such abuse ccstar, unfortunatley some people do tend to resort to bullying particularly in later life, and to do so via the internet is the most cowardly way of all as you do not even have to face the person you are bullying.

Thank you

I have posted in an appropriate area, rather than a more lighthearted place or the serious money pages, so why do trolls trawl around the more sensitive/personal areas to upset people?

And yes I notice it isn't only on this thread or to me - sad people like to spread their sadness - you have to pity them really.:o

Horasio

Addiscomber wrote: »

I have read this thread from beginning to end and had no trouble whatsoever understanding the OP's comments and reasoning as to why she didn't want to become a single parent.

I spotted this on another board


Time for someone to take their own advice methinks.

Touche:D

ms_london

At 19 it is his life, but I think you are adding fuel to the fire by supporting him financially. If you didnt do this, he would HAVE to take responsibility for his own life, get a job & pay his own way. But at the moment he doesnt have to because you are enabling him to carry on with his current lifestyle. He will never understand the value of money if you are there to bail him out, buy his food etc etc.

I am not blaming you, but I dont think this is helping matters.

Personally, if he wants to get into debt & squander his savings, let him. So long as it is his money or the debt is in his name. It's his life & unfortunately you dont have any control over the fact that he does have access to an overdraft or credit.

My parents (understandably!) went ballistic at me when I was around 20-22 - I wasnt working, and running up a huge amount of debt. To be fair, I wasnt scrounging off them and they never gave me any money (although I wasnt paying the housekeeping I was meant to and they bought food for the house), but they just were angry at me for my lifestyle choices. I decided I would leave my debt behind and I went to spain for a few months to run away from it all. Finally decided that I couldnt run away from it, went home & my parents made me move out and live with my grandparents - I think I was there for a month before they let me back home, and in that time I had shamed my grandad so much (god bless his soul!!) it gave me the kick up the bum I needed. So I managed to find a part time job in the local pub (some income was better than nothing!!) and used the rest of my time to find a job in London. Which I did and I moved to London a few months later.

4 years later I am debt free and travelling on 10,000 I saved myself - and definately a better person for it. I am sorry I put my parents through what I did, and more so my grandad, although thankfully before he died he knew I had savings and was close to becoming debt free and that made him so proud. I am just sorry he had to witness that period of my life.

Now I give my parents financial advice, and they have a bit of debt - but do they listen? :rolleyes:

In a way, I am pleased I got into debt as it taught me to much, about what I wanted from life, what was important and how I was going to achieve things.

You can only advise your son but he will make his own mistakes - and it doesnt help that your OH is unsupportive.

Try and be calm, stop his allowance & let him get himself through Uni for the last year. I know that if idve gone to Uni, my parents wouldntve been able to help out financially & I wouldntve expected it - I dont think that parents "mollycoddling" their kids through uni really helps matters - he is 19 and is old enough to take responsibility for his own actions.

Not sure if I've been much help, but I can see it from both sides of the fence.

xx

Horasio

We wanted to help him avoid debt. He had a good head on his shoulders in his mid teens and he understood how being sensible would stop him having a huge debt. My OH had debt and it was hellish but managed to get out of it. I vowed to do my best to not get into debt and made sure I lived within my means, even if it meant not having the latest whatever to keep up with the Jones's till I could afford it or get it on interest free at an affordable rate.

He grew up as expected and wanted to be out more. He had driving lessons and a cheap car for his birthday/Christmas present to make his life easy as he hated catching the bus and his allowance wasn't much more.

It went fine till he wanted to stay out till all hours and it disturbing us coming in when OH had to get up early for work. I found it hard to sleep as well. This went on for ages and was really draining.

Now he can stay out late, earn his own keep and run the car, stay at uni for one more year and see what the real world is like. We won't be giving him anything but maybe put some of it towards his savings for his deposit. I still feel sick at the £3K he squandered when we had to use savings for living on a few years back and how he lied about not spending it.

OH and I have got this issue about handling stress. When I don't feel happy or ill, he shouts and I can't cope with that so we end up in a row. He also spoils things when things are going well by creating some drama or other for us to sort out. There is never any peace.

This place needs to sell and it will free us.