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I'm at the end of my tether!!
Comments
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currantbun wrote: »"he is being stupid with his money (our money). If he had earned it, it would be his issue, but we saved that for 19 years."
If you have given it to him, it is his.
I know it's hard to see him fritter it away, but he will soon learn that he can only spend it once.
My parents had a savings account for me, meant as a deposit for a house. When I quialified and moved out of student acomodation, I needed a car to get to work. (I am a nurse and public transport does not cater for shifts). My dad agreed I could use some of the money in my savings to pay for a car. Only when the deal was done and I came to actually get the cash did he say he wanted it paid back. I was furious, as far as I was concerned, it was my money. To cut a long and rambling story short, I began paying it back but was having to work extra shifts to afford to do so, and eventually my sister told dad about this and he agreed to give back what I had paid and stop insisting on me repaying the money.
The point I am trying (and I think failing!) to make is that you have to let your son make his own decisions in life and if he gets it wrong, he must deal with the consequences.
That is a completely different kettle of fish - if our son had agreed with us to spend on something useful like a car then I would not want it back. The key word is you AGREED with your parents and yes that is harsh them wanting it back.
Anyway, I don't want the money back - I want to keep an eye on it to stop him spending any more. One day he will thank me for it. I don't think you read my thread properly. Yes I know what is his and ours.
It is the fact that he spent it on frivolities, and not told us about it, when it was a long standing agreement it was for his future.
I don't know why I'm bothering to explain what I am doing, your mind is made up that I am a rotten parent by trying to stop our son getting into bad habits.
No wonder there is so much debt and money mismanagement if people can't understand I am trying to save my son from major heartache. I feel sick I didn't prevent him squandering £3K of it!
I give up!An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T
:rotfl: :rotfl: 
:eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0 -
Once I can make sure he stops spending any more, he is free to make as many mistakes as he wishes.Not wrong, just pointless ... We can't, however hard we try, MAKE our children turn out exactly as we would like. Sometimes we're horrified by their 'mistakes', their deceitfulness, their obstinacy. But we have to let them live with THEIR choices. Don't we?
I give up trying to explain - your minds are made up.An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :rotfl: :rotfl: :eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0 -
CC star
you are doing the right thing he will thank you for this i wish i had financely caring parents who were that concerned about me and i hope i will be to mine as you can see i was a spoiled only child allowed to have what i wanted but was never really shown the right way to be with money as you can see from my sig dont get me wrong my parents loved me unconditionaly and are wonderful people but i wish i had a bit more money savvy OH on the other hand came from a single parent no money etc and is very good with money so as you can see from my little world teaching your kids to be good with money is the right and caring thing to do0 -
I send you a big hug - and kick their backsides!!!0
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Well his money is now in a higher interest account out of his reach, he will get it for a house deposit, plus interest, when he shows maturity. Until then he is getting a taste of real life!
He still has his car and a mobile phone allowance until the contract ends. It is on our DD but will get it cut off if he abuses it.
He has tax and insurance due in August, so has 4 months use. Otherwise he will have to sell the car! It is in his name.
He is on his own in other ways, he has applied for a job and waiting on the outcome. I have seen his new place from the outside and it is OK, not the best place but seen worse.
I pray my OH doesn't sneak money to him when he pleads poverty - so it is testing our marriage too!An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :rotfl: :rotfl: :eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0
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