Overwhelmed week from hell please read

mummyofboys

I cannot abide it either, hence me in this state and trying to make sure it never happens again. I don't really need you to say black is black, I already know.

Shepherd1

mummyofboys wrote: »

I cannot abide it either, hence me in this state and trying to make sure it never happens again. I don't really need you to say black is black, I already know.

Fair enough, I just get so angry thinking of an animal in so much pain.

mummyofboys

I took it to the vet asap. I have done as much as I can to prevent it again and I will learn from it

Shepherd1

I apologise I just got so angry when I read that. I really do hope you get things sorted.

mummyofboys

Thankyou, and thankyou all for the advice. Going to log off now.

meritaten

first of all - your youngest child is two and a half - for a consultant to state that he may never catch up on developmental delays is giving you the worst case scenario - how do they know? my SIL was told her autistic son would never speak or become toilet trained and due to excelent school is quite articulate, toilet trained and is far better able to cope socially than she ever hoped for. so dont give up on him hun!
your older son has learned a painful lesson! like many children he didnt realise that animals feel pain and can die (not many five year olds would know it hun, not unless they had pets and seen what illness/old age can do and experienced a death of a pet). You say he expressed horror and remorse - NOT the mark of a budding psychopath! just the unthinking cruelty of children.
Yes, your week has been horrendous - but, take the experiences as lessons learned - so the consultant isnt positive about youngest son - Prove her/him wrong!
your older son has learned a lesson hopefully - time to teach him how to care for defenseless creatures? see if you can get him interested in caring at one remove.............as in providing food for birds or nest boxes or hedgehog boxes? see if his friends with pets will show him how they care for those pets?
above all - dont despair! there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you have to move them towards it - but that is what every parent should be doing isnt it?

SingleSue

mummyofboys wrote: »

Thankyou, I think I am finding the what if's the worst, I am wondering how he will be as an adult, will he live a normal life, will he finish school, have a job, and no one can give me answers to these questions, this is the hardest bit I find.

Take each step as it comes, take each day as it comes.

We were told that youngest would NEVER be able to attend a mainstream school...he is now 14 and in main stream high school, albeit with an extremely high level of support.

I think in the current day as doing anything else would drive me bananas.

adelight

OP I think you dealt with your son wonderfully but it is a shame your Dad won't punish your brother and bought him another guinea pig. I really doubt it's a sign of your son growing up to be a murderer, you can tell kids not to do something 100 times but they can still get curious and do stupid things. I also seriously doubt they were trying to be cruel and were just heavy handed (personally i imagine they were holding it up in the air and something went wrong- I am NOT defending it or saying it's okay, just saying it probably wasn't intentional), but your son now knows why he absolutely must be gentle with animals.
Some people seem to be laying into you for the hell of it, totally unnecessary and very nasty. You are not being a bad mother, you are being a very good one and should be proud of yourself. Why try to make someone feel worse for something they already feel awful about?

belfastgirl23

Mummyofboys I just wanted to say I think you handled it all beautifully which would be very difficult under the circumstances. You don't have control over what other people do (eg your dad) so all you can do is your best in the circumstances. And if your son has learned something from this incident (in fact my guess would be that both your sons have since they are in the house together) then it's not wasted.

As for your husband, I think there's no point in talking about this any more now whilst you are feeling so upset and worried about your sons. But in a week or so when things have calmed down then it's definitely worth revisiting. I don't think you are over-reacting, all I'd say is that you want to be able to talk to him in a calm and emotionally stable way about why this is completely unacceptable to you so that he can't write it off as just a reaction to everything else. Because it is unacceptable and he needs to understand that he has done something potentially very dangerous for your relationship and very damaging to your faith in him.

But you are a good person and you are doing very well in the circumstances. Hold your head up and be proud of yourself.

YORKSHIRELASS

mummyofboys wrote: »

Thankyou, I think I am finding the what if's the worst, I am wondering how he will be as an adult, will he live a normal life, will he finish school, have a job, and no one can give me answers to these questions, this is the hardest bit I find.

I know its hard but you have to try really hard to not think about these things. You just have to deal with the next day/week/month and dont think any further ahead. The uncertainty is awful and I think you go through a process where eventually you accept it - and who knows, things might not be as bad as you think?