Partner doesn't give me what i need, do i stay?

DarlingBuds

Dave101t wrote: »

work, have money, have a kid, what more is there? should be married, then there wouldnt be a problem.

i never said iwasn't married??

Tish_P

A complete lack of any fun or sex or companionship or shared goals isn't "leaving a few boxes unticked", it's not actually having a relationship at all. It may not be quite as bad as that all the time - you wouldn't post about it on a relatively good day - but happiness matters.

OP, go to counselling and let him decide whether he comes too.

POPPYOSCAR

DarlingBuds wrote: »

I don't want to leave him idiot, read it properly. i do everything for him and want something back, why should i be left out?

Confused.

The title of your thread includes 'do I stay' does it not?

DarlingBuds

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Confused.

The title of your thread includes 'do I stay' does it not?

i don't want to leave, i'm asking what u would do in my position. i've already said i would stay, just for our kid's sake.

DarlingBuds

Tish_P wrote: »

A complete lack of any fun or sex or companionship or shared goals isn't "leaving a few boxes unticked", it's not actually having a relationship at all. It may not be quite as bad as that all the time - you wouldn't post about it on a relatively good day - but happiness matters.

OP, go to counselling and let him decide whether he comes too.

i've asked him to go but he says he hates being spoken to and is too old to change now

Tish_P

OK then - if it was exactly how you describe it, and he wasn't going to change, I would leave. He would be free to find someone that suited him better, the kids would be happier (they can tell if their parents don't like each other), and although it would be taking a risk I would feel I had to be true to myself.

I'd do the counselling thing first though, even if just so that I knew I'd given it every chance.

C_Mababejive

DarlingBuds wrote: »

fine, i'll take myself off as now i feel really hurt by some comments

Darling Buds..dont rush off...stay awhile.

In a public forum its inevitable that those who arent emotionally involved will dig stuff up thats upsetting. Its all a part of recognizing the issues and it can be painful but in the end,you will have stuff to think about :beer:

DarlingBuds

i will give it one more go then...

Tiddlywinks

DarlingBuds wrote: »

I don't want to leave him idiot, read it properly. i do everything for him and want something back, why should i be left out?

Idiot? Go back and actually read my post... you misread it!

However, your aggressive reaction says more about you than it does about me - do you over-react like this is real life?

balletshoes wrote: »

was there really any need to call another poster an idiot? She didn't say you wanted to leave him, she was talking about the other posters in the thread who were suggesting that you leave him if he isn't making you happy.

Thank you - I'm glad someone understood.

POPPYOSCAR

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Idiot? Go back and actually read my post... you misread it!

However, your aggressive reaction says more about you than it does about me - do you over-react like this is real life?



Thank you - I'm glad someone understood.

I understood you as well and agree with you here.