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Partner doesn't give me what i need, do i stay?
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yep, told him everything, he's known for 10 out of the 12 years. says he will try, but nothing happensThe issue it would seem is how much OP OH is prepared to go to change. She said he didn't think he could/would, so is unlikely to want to go to counselling I would think.
Just one question OP? Have you actually told your OH in black and white what would make you happy? I'm not talking about being more spontaneous, but actually telling him that you would like one week-end when he arranges for a baby sitter and takes you out for the evening within the next 6 weeks. Surely if he is not even able to arrange such a thing when you've told him it would make you happy and giving him the direction he really isn't try hard.0 -
DarlingBuds wrote: »I don't want to leave him idiot, read it properly. i do everything for him and want something back, why should i be left out?
was there really any need to call another poster an idiot? She didn't say you wanted to leave him, she was talking about the other posters in the thread who were suggesting that you leave him if he isn't making you happy.0 -
thanks for the lovely comment... i have tried everything for 10 years, how dare u say i'm moaning on the internet! at least i'm not arguing in front of our child, stay away from my postsMany people who are like this are reckless and lead to an whole different set of problems..being rubbish with money, in debt. Why should your OH change? If you have been together for 10 years and things he used to do he has changed but not into the person you want, It's called life, I no longer do what I did 10 years ago. Are you doing anything to keep your OH interested maybe he feels exactly the same as you do.
Do you give him what he needs in the relationship, why does all this fall onto your OH's shoulders? It's a partnership maybe if you did something rather than moan on a internet forum then maybe it might work out for you.0 -
DarlingBuds wrote: »thanks for the lovely comment... i have tried everything for 10 years, how dare u say i'm moaning on the internet! at least i'm not arguing in front of our child, stay away from my posts
ah now DarlingBuds, thats not the way a public internet forum works, surely you know that? If you post for advice/a rant, you will get lots of replies, and theres absolutely no rule that they have to agree with your point of view
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fine, i'll take myself off as now i feel really hurt by some comments0
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i wasn't giving a point of view, i came here for help, seems u can't get it from hereballetshoes wrote: »ah now DarlingBuds, thats not the way a public internet forum works, surely you know that? If you post for advice/a rant, you will get lots of replies, and theres absolutely no rule that they have to agree with your point of view.0 -
Does he realise you are contemplating leaving him? How does he react to this? Or is it a case he thinks you never will? Do you think he would actually make more of an effort if he truly thought you could leave him? 10 years is a very long time to swallow your frustration why has it suddenly come to an head?0
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work, have money, have a kid, what more is there? should be married, then there wouldnt be a problem.Target Savings by end 2009: 20,000
current savings: 20,500 (target hit yippee!)
Debts: 8000 (student loan so doesnt count)
new target savings by Feb 2010: 30,0000 -
Tiddlywinks wrote: »I absolutely agree with this - you need to take responsibility for your own happiness.
Why do most posters lean towards a 'leave him, he's obviously no good for you' kind of response when there is only one side of the story.
We're in the 21st century - are we really still expecting it to be all down to the men folk to keep the little ladies happy?
No, I don't think we are expecting that. I would expect, though, a husband to want his wife to be happy and vice versa. This one clearly isn't bothered that she isn't. Why would anyone want to resign themselves to a lifetime with someone who wont make an effort?******** Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity *******"Always be calm and polite, and have the materials to make a bomb"0 -
he knows and we have been on breaks before. i always try again because of our child. he thinks we'll just get better but it doesn't.Does he realise you are contemplating leaving him? How does he react to this? Or is it a case he thinks you never will? Do you think he would actually make more of an effort if he truly thought you could leave him? 10 years is a very long time to swallow your frustration why has it suddenly come to an head?
we.ve been together 12 years but unhappy for 10...0
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