Think my husband has left me...

caroline78

amyloofoo wrote: »

Sorry for the long reply, but I can sense your annoyance at some of the responses you've got. I can appreciate that some of them have been unreasonable and even off topic; but I think most people genuinely want what's best for you and your child and have offered some helpful advice and support. Please don't discount everything that's been said because of some unhelpful comments.

Thank you for this. I am annoyed at some of the posts, but please don't feel that I have disregarded everything that has been written. Some of it was very useful and I was better armed to face hubby with my information gleaned from here.

The main problem with "incare" help (don't know if that is right term or not) is that last time we asked the waiting time unless in crisis was 7 months....I personally think that it terrible. In todays times where more and more people suffer from various addictions it seems to be the one part of the Health Service that is most needed and yet most underfunded.

Hubby has had various tablets. I am unsure of the names but most of them only work if you have the will power as well, which he never really had before, but do think he has this time.

Person_one

Is there not a community alcohol team in your area?

Here are a few links, hopefully you can find some help:

http://addictionni.com/

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/Pages/Alcoholsupport.aspx

http://drugsalcohol.info/node/1489

http://www.fdap.org.uk/getting_help.php

Cat501

amyloofoo, you always seem to say what I want to say but just can't get out!

OP I'd agree that you can be a support and help to your husband in his endeavours without him moving back in with you.

Does he know this is his last chance - assuming it is? Does he know you and your son won't tolerate him disappearing sporadically for days on end without a word (it might not bother you and if you didn't have kids I'd say that's fine, each to their own, but you can't have your little lad waking up every day wondering if daddy's going to be around or not).

caroline78

Cat501 wrote: »

amyloofoo, you always seem to say what I want to say but just can't get out!

OP I'd agree that you can be a support and help to your husband in his endeavours without him moving back in with you.

Does he know this is his last chance - assuming it is? Does he know you and your son won't tolerate him disappearing sporadically for days on end without a word (it might not bother you and if you didn't have kids I'd say that's fine, each to their own, but you can't have your little lad waking up every day wondering if daddy's going to be around or not).

Yes he does now. He was told quite calmly that he had two choices. He could either move out, or stay and get help. He straight away answered stay, but I told him I was going out for a while and he had to seriously think about it before answered. I went to shop and was away about half hour (took some going to stay away that length of time) and when I came back he still said yes and had already phoned doctor to get appointment.

pinkladyof66

caroline78 wrote: »

Yes he does now. He was told quite calmly that he had two choices. He could either move out, or stay and get help. He straight away answered stay, but I told him I was going out for a while and he had to seriously think about it before answered. I went to shop and was away about half hour (took some going to stay away that length of time) and when I came back he still said yes and had already phoned doctor to get appointment.

That is good news I am happy for you he needs to stick with it though.

Cat501

caroline78 wrote: »

Yes he does now. He was told quite calmly that he had two choices. He could either move out, or stay and get help. He straight away answered stay, but I told him I was going out for a while and he had to seriously think about it before answered. I went to shop and was away about half hour (took some going to stay away that length of time) and when I came back he still said yes and had already phoned doctor to get appointment.

ooh - god I hate saying this, but are you sure he made an appointment? It's just that I've been with someone who would say whatever I wanted to hear, and even went as far as making "fake" phone calls in my presence. Are you going to go to the docs with him? (I don't mean you have to go in the room with him, just to the surgery)

Sparklebabey

I am glad you are feeling more positive about things caroline - could I make a couple of suggestions for you to ponder over?

Get some counselling for yourself - just for you where you could perhaps work on your self esteem as to me it is clearly on the floor and secondly, please please do not consider another baby whilst your husband is trying to sort himself out. I know it took you ages to fall pregnant with your son but that is not to say that it would take so long another time.....use some contraceptive as having a baby in this mess would just be catastrophic.

I hope things work out for you and more importantly your son. And just because you 'signed up' for something in the start means its acceptable 10 years later.

Good luck

Sparklebabey

Cat501 wrote: »

sparklebabey, I was using your quote as a relevant bit about self esteem, not accusing you personally

No harm done Cat....if only the internet came with tone! (no doubt Apple are working on it!!);)

Cat501

Sparklebabey wrote: »

No harm done Cat....if only the internet came with tone! (no doubt Apple are working on it!!);)

:rotfl: I hope so!! Smiley's don't always cut it!

oh dear - I really feel like I've peed on a bonfire here but experience has taught me to be cynical Alcoholics are so often consummate, charming liars....

shellsuit

mildred1978 wrote: »

From earlier posts:

Excellent news for your son and his health. [/SARCASM] I smoke, I don't smoke anywhere around my little one, and don't smoke in the house. If the OP is the same as me, then what is that doing to affect the little one's health exactly?



So hubby has even more kids he can't support due to alcoholism and joblessness?



I'm not even going to start on this. On what, the dummy or the jam?! What is the problem you have with what she said anyway?



Well, what are you doing about that? What has that got to do with the situation the OP is in now? It's not like she's going to get a job and leave the little one with her husband is it?



Has he had his MMR? It's extremely rare for a child who has to contract measles. If he hasn't, then I'm afraid you haven't done the best for him at all.

And this is on top of giving him an alcoholic wife batterer as a father.

And you're wanting to do it again. This I agree with, as it's absurd to want to have another baby while she's in this situation.

Words fail me.

Now you're just being mean picking at anything and everything.

Talk about kicking someone while they're down :cool: