Think my husband has left me...

Errata

We tried for 7 years to have a baby and were finally lucky enough last year and have a beautiful boy whom my hubby really dotes over

Unfortunately your OH dotes on alcohol far more, and always will until he sorts himself out. Isn't it time you told your OH to shape up or ship out?

tea_lover

What a horrible situation to be in, I hope you've managed to sort out some money. Can your parents help with food?

You say your husband's family have a lot of issues, and it seems like there a lot of problems with alcohol. How do you think your son's life will turn out if you stay in this situation?

POPPYOSCAR

Whilst it is admirable that you want to stand by your marriage vows
and you may be able to put up with this,you are being totally unfair to your son.

I have seen the devastation that an alcoholic brings to a family, and one that refuses to get help, only ends in tragedy.

Wellyboots6

Did you watch Corrie last night? I know it's a soap, but it does reflect real life in a lot of ways

coinxoperated

You need to get a grip and wake the f**k up!!!!!!!

Alchoholism is a disease, but it isn't your disease and WHY you insist on putting your child through this is beyond me.

Why you even had a baby with thie vile monster of a human being is also a big question!!!

You need support, and I have no doubt in that, but you need to grow a pair. In my eyes, your as bad a mother as he is bad a father for making your child stay in that situation!

Toomuchdebt

Sorry but I totally agree with the post above.

jetplane

You ask us not to judge you but you are judging his family. Their behaviour is no different to yours don't kid yourself that you are different. Why are you not including yourself and your son in this disfunctional family? You are part of this family, you have severe problems and his dad has walked out on his kid. Really by accepting him as he is you are just putting your son in with the rest of them. It doesnt matter how much you deny it. Your son already lives with an alcoholic father, who can be violent, irresponsible, spends the family income and abandons him.

He also has a mother who allows this to happen so in a few years time he will be lying and protecting his father just as you and his cousins do. Do you have an alcohol or drug problem? I just don't see how anyone can willingly start a relationship with a 'bottle of vodka a day alcoholic' who assaults them until he ends up in court. And then plan to have a baby unless they have issues themselves.

As far as the jobcentre are concerned if someone rings up sick then they will still be paid JSA so this would be in your account now. Unless he has done this repeatedly in which case you ask for a crisis loan. If not you ring income support and claim as a single parent and tell them that your partner has abandoned you, it is not a lie. Tell the housing benefits also to enable them to pay your rent and inform tax credits if he is away for more than 4 weeks.

You do not want to change your situation so whether he comes back or not you should change the claim to your name and sign on for the JSA rather than him so that your family don't depend on him.

You could ring social services and ask for someone to look after your son while you mollycoddle his father.

Go on holiday without him.

cutestkids

coinxoperated wrote: »

You need to get a grip and wake the f**k up!!!!!!!

Alchoholism is a disease, but it isn't your disease and WHY you insist on putting your child through this is beyond me.

Why you even had a baby with thie vile monster of a human being is also a big question!!!

You need support, and I have no doubt in that, but you need to grow a pair. In my eyes, your as bad a mother as he is bad a father for making your child stay in that situation!

I couldn't agree more, while it is one thing for you as an adult to allow yourself to stay with this idiot and for you to live this kind of life it is in NO WAY acceptable to put a child through this,:mad: if I were you I would have got rid of him long ago and can not understand how anyone can bring a child into an abusive alcoholic home, if he is violent to you it is only a matter of time before the child gets it too

Sparklebabey

caroline78 wrote: »

.

I am in tears thinking that people must think I don't care about my son if I am willing to put him through this

But you can't care for you son as much as you say can you?

You will have no food this week because of the actions of your husband and yet you are STILL trying to defend him

You should never have had a child...it was a hugely selfish decision. As others have said, your Son did not choose this car crash of a life where his Daddy would rather choose to get p!ssed with the rellys instead of being home and comforting him when he is poorly.

Alcohol has a grip on him? Perhaps he needs to get a grip and decide what is important in life...and let me say that you and your Son are 2nd and 3rd on the list.

How long has he been unemployed? Do you really think he wants a job as surely his bender jaunts won't allow it....


To be honest tho, there could be pages of this thread but nothing will change as you clearly think this life is acceptable.

Your poor poor boy...I feel for him I really do. A !!!!lass father and a mother who thinks it's okay to take a slap round the face and for Daddy dearest to disappear and get lagered up....you need to get a check on things and realise whats important and that is the welfare of your son....your husband has left you with no money and if you choose to defend that then you choose to consider the welfare of your son not important.

Gigglepig

OP I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. There are some harsh replies on this thread but keep in mind people seem very concerned for you and your boy. Perhaps you are not a perfect family in a perfect situation, but you can get through this and make things better for yourself and your son. It must be absolutely awful to see your husband do this to himself and his family but perhaps you need to come to terms with that cannot rescue him from himself. Have you tried to contact a charity providing support to families of people with addictions?