My own home (and maybe business) before I'm 30 - Ghostmadlittlemiss' DFW diary

ghostmadlittlemiss

Hi everyone :wave:,

So, after stopping, starting, rewriting and deleting for the past few hours, I think I'm finally ready to write the first entry in my DFW diary. :j As you can see, I'm an old-timer on MSE. I've been hanging around the forums for many years now and this is my second time in debt. CCs have been a real weakness for me in the past, as has general living beyond my means. I've now finally come to the realisation though that this can't go on. There's no more credit left and my once well off OH who used to be able to buy me out of messes like this with ever increasing loans of money each month is now worse of than me and that's saying a lot. :eek: So something has to change.

I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. My name's Kayleigh, I'm 22 and I live with my OH in a rented flat in Bath. I'm a cleaner and a Betterware distributor, neither of which pay much at all. My debts currently stand at roughly 5k, not counting my student loan. I'm not really sure what I want to do with my life career wise in the long term though I've often thought it would be great to have my own business. I like the idea of earning money for myself instead of slaving away to make someone else all the richer. But I know that to do that, I need to get out of debt. Businesses take money to set up and I want that to be my own money, not the bank's.

I also desperately want my own house one day. I've been living in various rented flats for the past 5 years and I hate it. Yes, I can see the convenience in just making a phone call and the landlord pays to fix anything that's broken. But I'm sick of the high electric bills from bad insulation, the noise from paper thin walls (and floors, I'm in a basement flat atm) and the general lack of being able to change anything in them. I want somewhere that's mine and my OH's, that we make the decisions on and we can slowly over time make a better place to live in. But I haven't even started on a deposit fund yet. When I think of the money I've wasted over the years paying off debts, I feel sick. I could have put away enough money to make a very good start on a deposit by now and I have nothing to show for it besides a car I can barely afford to run but aren't in a position to sell and a room full of junk. :mad:

But I want to change all that. In the next 8 years, I want to pay off my debts, either start my own business or find a job that I really love, not just something that pays the bills, and save up enough to get on the property ladder. And I want to feel like I'm actually living my life, not just existing from day to day, struggling to get by. My future starts now and I'm ready to grasp it with both hands.
Kayleigh

sistafromanothermista

:wave: i will be subscribing best of luck to you. :beer:

ghostmadlittlemiss

Well, first step is to put my favourite hoodie on. How on Earth can it still be this cold in June?! :eek: Some food would be nice too. I'm thinking baked beans on toast, I'm not really in the mood for anything big and the beans in the fridge need using up. I think I'll have a cuppa with it as well. Then wash the pots and re-label my Betterware catalogues for a Tues pickup so I can drop them off tomorrow. I meant to do them today but I spent the whole night awake worrying and didn't drop off until 5am! :eek: I honestly couldn't tell you where the rest of the day's gone, it feels like I've done nothing at all. But hey, onwards and upwards. Now, food!
Kayleigh

ghostmadlittlemiss

sistafromanothermista wrote: »

:wave: i will be subscribing best of luck to you. :beer:

Just popping in quickly between food and pots to say thanks.
Kayleigh

Hiddenidenity

Hello good luck I will be subscribing x

ghostmadlittlemiss

Blimey, two subscribers on my first night! :eek: I think you might find you get bored of me quite quickly, I'm not the most interesting of people. :rotfl:

Well, the pots are done. For a cleaner, I'm really not very keen on housework, it must be said. And pot washing is probably one of my least favourite jobs. That's probably one of the reasons I want my own house so much, I could buy a dishwasher then.

Tbh, I only really got into cleaning because I signed up for a employment agency when I was at 6th Form and most of the jobs they offered me were cleaning ones so that's what I had the most experience in when I started applying for other work. It's not something I enjoy, nor am I particularly good at it, tbh. I'm far too slow, especially with hoovering which gives me awful backache and I'm forever being told off at work for lagging behind. Unfortunately, I can't really look for anything with more hours atm as I'm in a complicated position with regards to the degree I've spent the last 5 years trying to get. I've got essays that weren't completed (long story, mainly involves depression) that are stopping me from getting my certificate until I write and submit them. So I'm very, very slowly ploughing through them first then I might well apply for something with more hours until I clear my debts. After that, who knows?

Anyway, it's getting late so I think I'll see if I can get some sleep. I'll re-label the catalogues tomorrow, resetting my sleeping pattern is more important right now, I won't get them put out if I sleep all day again and no catalogues = no money. So I'll 'see' you all in the morning. Night everyone!
Kayleigh

ghostmadlittlemiss

Hi again,

I'm having one of those horrible, can't-be-a*sed days today. I suppose it goes with the territory, considering I have depression, but it's annoying to say the least to have this random, black cloud descend over you out of the blue. Though I suppose it's not really entirely without warning, this tends to happen two or three days after each time I've thought, "This time, I'm going to change my whole life for the better," when that change takes longer than I'd like it to. I'm trying to focus on what my therapist keeps telling me, that you can't wait around for motivation to strike because it very rarely does, you have to do the things you're putting off to create the motivation. It's just a lot easier said than done sometimes.

Anyway, I don't want this diary to just be me moping all the time. My writing's been far too much like that in the past and if it bores me, it'll certainly bore you poor lot having to read it! So I'm having a tiny bit longer faffing around on the laptop then I'm going to get up and get some food. Chances are having not eaten properly today is part of why I'm in a bad mood as it is, that's often been the case in the past. So I'll post back once I've eaten something. 'Talk' soon.
Kayleigh

ghostmadlittlemiss

Very quick post as the 'little bit longer' faffing around turned into quite a lot longer! :eek: As I suspected, I do feel better for having had some food and a glass of water. I have some Betterware orders to drop off to people at 5 so I'm doing some quick catalogue re-labelling first and then at 4:45, I'm leaving the house with however many catalogues are labelled by then and dropping them off. The rest will have to go out as overnighters tomorrow, unless of course I get lots of re-orders off the catalogues I dropped off saying I was delivering today. In that case, I might be able to do Mon to Wed drop-offs. The thing is, I meet my boss on a Tues and have to give her my order forms for the week so I need a decent amount to give her so unless I get re-orders, I have to drop more catalogues and pick up before I meet her to make up the numbers. Anyway, this was meant to be quick! :eek: Will write again after my drop-offs.
Kayleigh

ghostmadlittlemiss

£56.88 worth of orders off only four people!!! :j :j :j I knew that 'offer 10% off any second orders for everyone I drop an order to' idea would work! :j I haven't seen a whiff of a re-order in weeks so as far as I'm concerned, that's £5.68/9 (depends on how it's added up) that I wouldn't have got otherwise.

I've just noticed I've left my catalogue bag in the car. There's nothing in it but I'd better get it anyway. And while I'm out, I think I'll post a couple of letters I've been meaning to send all day. One's for a refund of my TV licence as I don't think I've watched a single live program since I bought it so that'll be a nice bit of money to help me out. I'm also flogging the TV anyway as I watch most stuff on my laptop these days. It's a old style telly with a back that I got off Freecycle ages back so I doubt it'll go for much. I've asked for £10 on the ad I'm sticking up in Sainsburys tomorrow. All in all, I'm very glad I went out today.
Kayleigh

Bogof_Babe

ghostmadlittlemiss wrote: »

£56.88 worth of orders off only four people!!! :j :j :j I knew that 'offer 10% off any second orders for everyone I drop an order to' idea would work! :j I haven't seen a whiff of a re-order in weeks so as far as I'm concerned, that's £5.68/9 (depends on how it's added up) that I wouldn't have got otherwise.

I've just noticed I've left my catalogue bag in the car. There's nothing in it but I'd better get it anyway. And while I'm out, I think I'll post a couple of letters I've been meaning to send all day. One's for a refund of my TV licence as I don't think I've watched a single live program since I bought it so that'll be a nice bit of money to help me out. I'm also flogging the TV anyway as I watch most stuff on my laptop these days. It's a old style telly with a back that I got off Freecycle ages back so I doubt it'll go for much. I've asked for £10 on the ad I'm sticking up in Sainsburys tomorrow. All in all, I'm very glad I went out today.
Kayleigh

Best of luck with that! How are you going to convince them you haven't been watching it?

ghostmadlittlemiss

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Best of luck with that! How are you going to convince them you haven't been watching it?

They won't refund me for the months I've already used up but as I don't seem to be using it, I was hoping to get the rest of the year's worth back. It's a step in the right direction anyway as there's no use paying for something I never use when the money could go elsewhere. Maybe I've finally got the hang of the whole DFW lifestyle this time. Beforehand, I would've just tried to justify it by saying that I'd watch something one day.
Kayleigh