Burial of a Miscarried Baby Advice Please

System

So sorry you and your daughter are going through this but i would talk to your daughter and see what she wants.

Ive had to arrange a funeral for my baby and also had to say personal 'goodbyes' when i miscarried at 13 weeks. Neither occasions i could have faced anymore than a funeral service. I was young and it would have been too much and i dont regret not having a 'meet up' afterwards.

I will just share with you what my Doctor told my Mother after the loss of my daughter.

He said 'She's young, she'll get over it'.

At the time i thought he was cruel and didnt know what i was going through but 32 years later i understand.

Although i'll never get over the loss of my babies, my age did soften the blow somewhat as i had time on my side. I also went on to have other children and although they didnt make up for my losses, they filled my empty arms and filled an empty void in my heart.

Big hugs to you, and even bigger ones to your daughter who is learning cruelness of life too soon.

scottishchick27

So sorry for your loss Gravity, my thoughts are with your DD, I can't imagine what she's going through.

I also think tea, coffee and biscuits is more than sufficient.

sassyblue

So sorry to hear this gravity, l think the refreshments you mentioned are about right.

Don't beat yourself up about your feelings in the beginning, you were bound to feel a complete mixture of emotions - as you will now.

Maybe a nice keepsake box would be nice for your daughter to put some pieces in, like hand and footprints of baby? Xxxx. (probably same for her boyfriend)

Debt_Free_Chick

I, too, welled-up when I read this.

For the Wake I suggest chocolate and alcohol (and I'm not kidding!)

bright_side

gravitytolls wrote: »

Okay, we discovered some 14 weeks ago that our beautiful, talented 15 yr old daughter was pregnant. Devastated doesn't come close. Despite my own personal antipathy to convenience abortion, I suddenly discovered that I was less opposed than I realised ~ I'm such a bloody hypocrite.

That doesn't make you a hypocrite, it makes you human. We are all very good at saying what we feel people should/shouldn't do in any given situation, but when we are actually faced with such things ourselves it's never quite as black and white.

Your daughter clearly has a very supportive, loving mum and I hope that together you will get through this desperately sad time.

Rest in peace little one xx

pollypenny

Oh, this is so sad, GT. Hugs to you and your poor daughter.

Your initial reaction was what most caring mothers would have had; don't beat yourself up about it. You've clearly been a great support to your daughter.

You all need to cling together now.

Re food; coffee, tea and a few sandwiches?

Mayflower10cat

I also wanted to add my sympathies - what a sad and tragic outcome. For all of you. I hope the funeral and burial allows the grief to flow and for comfort and love to start the healing process.

After the recent funeral of a dear friend, I felt too upset to go to the drinks and sandwiches being offered at a little hotel nearby - husband and I just had a large pot of very strong tea in a quiet cafe until we felt composed enough to drive home. Your two families may well feel the same, they just want to sit quietly with a hot drink and at the very most a sandwich. I hope the service brings comfort to you all.

skipsmum

karen23 wrote: »

That doesn't make you a hypocrite, it makes you human. We are all very good at saying what we feel people should/shouldn't do in any given situation, but when we are actually faced with such things ourselves it's never quite as black and white.

Your daughter clearly has a very supportive, loving mum and I hope that together you will get through this desperately sad time.

Rest in peace little one xx

Absolutely, this is what I would have written if I could put in words whats in my head!

cowboymum

Just wanted to add my thoughts - me and my husband have lost two babies, one at 24 weeks and one at 35 weeks (I feel very blessed now to have two boys aged 5 and 10).

At the first funeral, it was just me and my husband. At the second, there were loads of people, but we felt that we didn't want a wake. It was too raw a time, and I think we went home just with very close family. I'm sure my mum gave them tea and cake, but I just went to bed. I found the funerals so difficult.

My heart goes out to you all. XXX

rachel90

I'm so sorry to hear that. Please don't hate yourself for suggestions made in the beginning, that isn't the cause of what has happened. You sound like a very caring and supportive mother/family. I can't give any advice but good luck with it all, I hope the service is as smooth running as possible for you all.
Your daughter has a good boyfriend there.

Look after yourself and your wonderful family xx