Burial of a Miscarried Baby Advice Please

Padstow

I have no advice, others here do that far better than me.

Just to say that your OP is the most heart breaking post I've ever read here, and could belong to anyone of us. For the Grace of God and all that.
You are so brave and I wish you and your family all the best for the future.

Mrs_Ryan

I've almost been in tears reading this thread.

I have no advice to offer, I've had multiple miscarriages and know how heartbreaking it is. OP you sound like a very caring Mum and all I can say is my heart goes out to you, your daughter and her boyfriend xx

sulkisu

I am so sorry for your family's loss. You have been given some really good advice. The only thing that I would add or suggest is to make sure that whatever you decide to do, that you include your daughter's boyfriend and his family in the decision making and organising. I would imagine his parents are equally as devastated and although not deliberate, when a couple suffer a miscarriage there is a natural tendency to concentrate on the mother and not the father.

scotgirl

I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandchild and for all your daughter is going through.

When my newborn daughter died we had the immediate family back to my mums for tea, a bought in tray of sandwiches and some shortbread. People don't feel like eating and it's simple and easy.

I totally agree with contacting Sands, there is probably a group in your area for support but the helpline is wonderful and remember its not just for your daughter but for you too.

I suffered this loss at 29, I just can't imagine dealing with such heartache at half that age.

Sending love, strength and my thoughts to you all x

gravitytolls

Thank you all for your continuing support and kindness.

My lovely girl and her young man painted their baby girl's name on her memory box today. They finalised their choice of readings ~ Heaven knows how any of us will get through hearing them ~ and they have written their own. They emailed the Chaplain, who called them, she's a lovely lady, we're very lucky to have her support.

I attended a First Holy Communion this morning. We were all planning to attend, but of course, our dreadful news assured we weren't expected. Younger DD joined me, bless her, I don't think she trusts me to be out alone! I got a message from my little love, she needed breast pads!

Oh my, it just didn't occur to me that this would happen. Why weren't we warned, so we could be prepared? I can't bear that not only is she coping with her loss, but that she is experiencing her body's natural desire to provide nourishment.

I never cease to be amazed at the resilience of teenagers. They've eaten well over the weekend, and today they joined us at the table for a roast, which they chose. While I was tidying up, they were chatting with DD's younger sister and their laughter filled the house.

With regard to keeping the other family in the loop, I am minded of this. I have ensured that they have been kept up to speed with how the children are coping while they've both been here over the last three days, I hope I am aware that their grief is as deep as ours, and I hope they don't feel sidelined. I'm fairly certain that her BF doesn't, of course my focus is her, but he has lost his baby too, and though my heart doesn't yet feel able to break for him in the same way, I hope he feels support from us as well as his family.

mandi

gravitytolls wrote: »

Thank you all for your continuing support and kindness.

My lovely girl and her young man painted their baby girl's name on her memory box today. They finalised their choice of readings ~ Heaven knows how any of us will get through hearing them ~ and they have written their own. They emailed the Chaplain, who called them, she's a lovely lady, we're very lucky to have her support.

I attended a First Holy Communion this morning. We were all planning to attend, but of course, our dreadful news assured we weren't expected. Younger DD joined me, bless her, I don't think she trusts me to be out alone! I got a message from my little love, she needed breast pads!

Oh my, it just didn't occur to me that this would happen. Why weren't we warned, so we could be prepared? I can't bear that not only is she coping with her loss, but that she is experiencing her body's natural desire to provide nourishment.

I never cease to be amazed at the resilience of teenagers. They've eaten well over the weekend, and today they joined us at the table for a roast, which they chose. While I was tidying up, they were chatting with DD's younger sister and their laughter filled the house.

With regard to keeping the other family in the loop, I am minded of this. I have ensured that they have been kept up to speed with how the children are coping while they've both been here over the last three days, I hope I am aware that their grief is as deep as ours, and I hope they don't feel sidelined. I'm fairly certain that her BF doesn't, of course my focus is her, but he has lost his baby too, and though my heart doesn't yet feel able to break for him in the same way, I hope he feels support from us as well as his family.

As I said in my last post Gravity .. Just keep doing what your doing . you're a very caring person and I'm sure both your daughter & her BF now that .:A

bright_side

Hi Gravity, just wondered how you are all doing and wanted to send you love and hugs. I hope things are going as well as they can, thinking of you xxxx

cottonhead

None of what happend is your fault. I can understand that at 15 you feel your daughter woud be wasting her life being a mum but at the same time you wish no harm to the innocent baby either. All that says to me is that you are very caring and supportive but unfortunately some situations dont have an easy solution.
Nobody is expecting anything from you. They are there to grieve for the baby and show their support to your daughter and her boyfriend so just a few drinks and some biscuits / sausage rolls is all it takes. Catering is the least of anyones worries. Remember to look after your own wellbeing as well as that of your daughter. X

I_wanna_live_for_free

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please look after yourself as well as being there for your daughter. My thoughts are with you at this horrific time. Love and hugs x

Cat501

just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss....so desperately sad

I haven't been through what you are going through and can't pretend to know how you are feeling. I have had a child grieving though and the pain of not being able to take away their pain can feel intolerable.

Much love to you all xxx