Burial of a Miscarried Baby Advice Please

Stephb1986_2

GT I am so sorry for your loss, I really do feel for your family right now I could cry for your daughter with the pain and grief she is experiencing.

I can't really offer any advice though I just wanted to offer my condolences.

Give your daughter a massive hug for me.

Much love

Steph xx

thegirlintheattic

I'm so sorry for your loss. The only thing I can add is your DD's boyfriend sounds like a very mature and caring young man. I doubt many 14 year old boys could do what he has done.

Quasar

OMG gravity, this is truly a terrible time for you all. I cannot add anything to what has already been said, except that I admire your courage for telling us all this, and I hope that our sincere word go some way to help you through this. I'm sure that your daughter could not have a more supporting, loving mum.

Q xxxx

gravitytolls

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

I'm so sorry for your loss. The only thing I can add is your DD's boyfriend sounds like a very mature and caring young man. I doubt many 14 year old boys could do what he has done.

He's 16, but you're right, it was hell for him too. He held her in his arms throughout, told her to squeeze his hands and that it was just a setback, they'll get over it, they'll still have a great future.

He climbed onto the bed and held her all night, took her to the chapel, came home with us and helped choose the readings and write one of their own.

16 or 14, there's not many could have coped.

gravitytolls

karen23 wrote: »

Hi Gravity, just wondered how you are all doing and wanted to send you love and hugs. I hope things are going as well as they can, thinking of you xxxx

Thanks Karen.

I went to the town council today to pay for the plot. I was fine until the lovely lady gently told me that she hoped we could be comforted to know she would be in an area just for children. I tried to hold it together, but I just can't.

DD has chosen some lovely flowers, a selection of colourful roses for her baby Mia-Rose. They come in a vase, which she can fetch home and keep flowers in for her. We looked at funeral flowers, but it felt wrong, no funeral flowers for a tiny baby, it's just not right.

Have bought another teapot and a cheap coffee machine so everyone can be catered for afterwards, a second kettle will ensure no one's waiting. I'll make sandwiches, biscuits and a cake with her name on it, as she won't have a birthday cake, she should have it on Wednesday when all her family are together for her.

It all seems so trite, but keeping busy helps a little, at least I feel I'm doing something. I'm painting the house too, I want it clean and bright for her, stupid I know, but need to do it.

Thanks for caring everyone, I may be weeping over the keyboard, but I don't feel I'm weeping alone.

steph7163

Hi hun

just wanted to say how sorry i am for your daughters loss & yours, i lost a daughter nearly 6 yrs ago and a grandchild a few months ago so can understand a bit of what you are going through although everyones grief journey is their own - please dont under estimate your loss in all of this, i notice that you have already been given the link to sands and i have to say that they are very good and supportive andd also hve lots of good advice for all concerned.
wishing you all gentle days
stephxxx
ps just a thought but a few people i know who have been through similar have done a balloon release after the service at the resting place ( i call ours her garden) xx

mum2one

only imagine that it was a shock to the system when you found out your daughter was expecting, but you supported her, both of them,and your here for her now. I'm so sorry she lost the baby.

This may not be the right time, but my mum lost her 1st daughter with cancer, when she was 18mths old, she was given this poem, and even now its still about, before I had my daughter I miscarried a few times, it was always always early on, I can agree with the others who suggest SANDS, also please don't think i'm being pushy, but if there anyone you can talk to,

GODS LENT CHILD

I'll lend you for a little while
A child of mine, God said.
For you to love her while she lives
And mourn for when she's dead.

It may be six or seven weeks
or forty-two or three.
But, will you, 'til I call her back,
Take care of him for me?

She'll bring his charms to gladden you
And should her stay be brief,
You'll have her lovely memories
As a solace for your greif.

I can not promise she will stay
Since all from Earth returns,
But there are lessons taught below,
I want this child to learn.

I've looked the whole world over
In my search for teacher's true.
And from the things that crowd life's lane
I have chose you.

Now will you give her all your love?
Nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take
This lent child back again?

I fancied that I heard them say
Dear Lord, thy will be done.
For all the joys thy child will bring
The risk of grief we'll run.

We will shelter her with tenderness,
We'll love her while we may.
And for all the happiness we have known
Forever grateful stay.

But should thy angel call for her
Much sooner than we planned
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand.


Author Unknown

xx

mum2one

dizziblonde wrote: »

One thing we did was to plant something in the garden that would flower around the due date of the babies we lost - it helped somewhat.

Def agree with that my parents planted a rosebush for my sister, even now 43yrs later the roses still bloom. xx

mandi

gravitytolls wrote: »

Thanks for caring everyone, I may be weeping over the keyboard, but I don't feel I'm weeping alone.

Gravity you have said some very kind words to me in the past when I was feeling pretty down . The last being at New Year .

You are so NOT alone that's true . . Cry when you need too and post when you want to :A

Your doing good .

shellsuit

gravitytolls wrote: »

Thanks Karen.

I went to the town council today to pay for the plot. I was fine until the lovely lady gently told me that she hoped we could be comforted to know she would be in an area just for children. I tried to hold it together, but I just can't.

DD has chosen some lovely flowers, a selection of colourful roses for her baby Mia-Rose. They come in a vase, which she can fetch home and keep flowers in for her. We looked at funeral flowers, but it felt wrong, no funeral flowers for a tiny baby, it's just not right.

Have bought another teapot and a cheap coffee machine so everyone can be catered for afterwards, a second kettle will ensure no one's waiting. I'll make sandwiches, biscuits and a cake with her name on it, as she won't have a birthday cake, she should have it on Wednesday when all her family are together for her.

It all seems so trite, but keeping busy helps a little, at least I feel I'm doing something. I'm painting the house too, I want it clean and bright for her, stupid I know, but need to do it.

Thanks for caring everyone, I may be weeping over the keyboard, but I don't feel I'm weeping alone.

Heartbreaking

I am SO sorry that you're all having to go through this, I don't know what else to say, sorry xxx