Friend Overstepping the Line... Thoughts?

marisco_2

givemeavoice wrote: »

Tbh I feel pretty ashamed of myself for feeling that way I did but I hope this can be resolved. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my posts and give your thoughts, they really have helped.

givemeavoice x

There is no need to feel ashamed. All that has happened is protective parent mode kicked in for you and your OH. Sadly you cant be to careful with kids these days and the thought of your childs name and dob being available to see probably rocked you both a bit. We do all we can as mums and dads to respect and keep the privacy of our children. Having your sons details for lots of people to see momentarily made you feel a little vulnerable I am guessing.

You kept your cool and contacted your friend about your concerns. This speaks volumes about how good your relationship with her is in that you feel able to raise things with her that have upset you. Your message must have been worded wisely because she responded to you and explained her side of things. You are now in the position where you hope to resolve things, so that is a real positive for all concerned.

Your little boy is lucky to have a mum who looks out for him and who gives such great examples of how to handle friendships. All this will stand him in very good stead as he grows up. Dont berate yourself, give yourself a pat on the back for how well you have handled things.

pimento

KitKat00 wrote: »

Tell her that she needs permission to do that as she is not his mother

No she doesn't. She can have whatever she wants tattooed on her.

It's a bit odd though, I'll admit.

Sambucus_Nigra

rnc wrote: »

Correct-for in a public place.

Yes - that's what I said. #refresher - 'Anyone can take photos of anyone in a public place, you do not need the permission of any parent to take photos of their child.'

However - this is not even a photo. So it is completely irrelevant.

BJV

Hi just been catching up on the situation. I was away for the weekend and was thinking about your post ( busy life I lead lol ) I just wanted to find out if you had been able to talk to her.

When you first posted I was a little bit freaked out. Well if that was my son I would be, think it is strange! So I understood how you felt. After reading every thing I have to say I now feel a little bit sorry for the way I thought of your friend. I don't think that she is the mad woman I thought. Instead I feel a little bit sorry for her.

I think that she must be really lonely. I know how difficult it is kids, work, family, home but if you can talk to her and make the time it will be worth it.

Let us all know how you get on.

givemeavoice

Hiya BJV, thanks for your message. Yes, I too feel a bit rubbish for the things I was thinking before, but reading how other people would react etc on here I think I can see things more clearly rather than just being in overprotective mummy mode. And I have told her this.

I told her I'm not going to sully anything that has made her feel just a tiny bit better about her life, and that I'm always always here for her if she needs to talk. I also said not to get to too despondent about her boyfriend not wanting kids - they're only 24!!! Anything can happen... And most of all that I'm sorry for thinking wrongly of her and jumping to conclusions. I hope we can patch things up and move on, I'm taking my driving test next month so hopefully will be able to see her more often.

Many thanks again x

givemeavoice

marisco wrote: »

There is no need to feel ashamed. All that has happened is protective parent mode kicked in for you and your OH. Sadly you cant be to careful with kids these days and the thought of your childs name and dob being available to see probably rocked you both a bit. We do all we can as mums and dads to respect and keep the privacy of our children. Having your sons details for lots of people to see momentarily made you feel a little vulnerable I am guessing.

You kept your cool and contacted your friend about your concerns. This speaks volumes about how good your relationship with her is in that you feel able to raise things with her that have upset you. Your message must have been worded wisely because she responded to you and explained her side of things. You are now in the position where you hope to resolve things, so that is a real positive for all concerned.

Your little boy is lucky to have a mum who looks out for him and who gives such great examples of how to handle friendships. All this will stand him in very good stead as he grows up. Dont berate yourself, give yourself a pat on the back for how well you have handled things.

thank you x

ska_lover

I haven't read all of this thread, but I dont see the big deal tbh. If it was my oldest friend of 20 years, who had always called my son her nephew anyway, whats the problem?

Now, if it was a friend who I met six months ago, I would be scared lol

sb88_2

I don't have children, so I can't really related at all.

Your freind however seems the impulsive type, and I don't see this as being weird at all. I imagine she thinks of you as a sister more than she does a freind. It isn't doing any harm, just move on.

and why not get your childs name tattooed on yourself. Maybe you feel she's taken something away from you by doing it. But It seems pretty harmless to me.

givemeavoice

I appreciate that not everyone would feel the way I did, the problem stems from my friend seeing my son only a few times, makes no effort to see him - she has his DOB on her leg and fails to acknowledge his birthday!!! As I've said I have tried to meet up with numerous times but have been met with excuses and yet she thinks of him as her nephew. I think it's just a bit hypocritical. But as I've already said, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt by taking into consideration her circumstances and trying to sort things out.

And no, this isn't a matter of her beating me to it. I have a tattoo of my son's name meaning which I designed myself which I got over two years ago. I honestly don't feel the need to have anything more than that. I will never forget the day my son was born, the time he was born, what the weather was like outside, what the midwifes names were etc...

BJV

givemavoice think you have done the right thing.

Sorry to say but the world we all live in there are some very strange people out there at when it comes to your little ones it is hard not go jump in to protective mummy mode first and think about it after. After all that is what our minds and bodies are designed to do so please don't be worried about it. Perfectly natural.

Good luck with the driving lessons.