Friend Overstepping the Line... Thoughts?

coinxoperated

Oh sorry I thought she had the child's face on her! Sorry!

In that case, could there be chance it's actually not your child?

Just stop worrying an be proud that you picked a name someone unrelated would like on there body until they die

FatVonD

coinxoperated wrote: »

Oh sorry I thought she had the child's face on her! Sorry!

No, that was just a rumour started by myself, ahem

Dunroamin

Living at a distance is a different thing where friendship's concerned but I didn't get the impression that this was the case here. (I apologise if I missed that.)

It seemed to me that the OP and her "best friend" lived close to each other and yet hadn't even spoken to each other on the phone for two years so, I have to say again, not my idea of a best friend.

Wickedkitten

They live quite a bit away from each other, but even if they were living in the same street, they have been friends for 20 years so surely if not a "best" friend, then surely one where there is enough time there that you would be able to talk about it.

londonsurrey

These definitions of an ideal best friend are all very well and good. However, they do assume that there is another friend who is a better friend than the absent individual.

givemeavoice

I define her my best friend as I've known her since primary school, since the age of 8 or 9 we haven't lived in the same town or county. But somehow we managed to see each other on a monthly basis, speak on the phone daily etc and that continued for years and years. But when I became pregnant things fizzled out, she was supportive but contact did slow down. I put that down to me being young and not being as "fun" as before, not going out etc. And obviously things slowed down further when her mum died.

It may be strange to consider her my best friend even now, but she's been a part of my life since I can remember and I have an awful lot of history with, and I have had close friends but none as close as her. Which is why I'm upset about this, I would have hoped that even though we don't talk that often now that she would just think to mention her plans of this tattoo. Yes she isn't a mind reader but I think we've known each other long enough for her have an inkling this would bother me. I appreciate that everyone is different and not everyone would be upset about it, but I can't help how I feel

Just to add, I have sent her an email expressing how I feel, and am waiting for her to reply....

podperson

I do agree with you it's rather odd behaviour. Based on what you've said about her having previous tattoos I could understand it if she'd done it when your son was born, when she was calling him her 'nephew' and you were still quite close. But since it sounds like you've drifted apart and she hasn't seen you or your son in over 2 years (and I'm assuming he won't have a clue who she is if she hasn't seen him since he was a baby!) then to just do it out of the blue now is the part that baffles me!

I hope you get somewhere with talking to her, maybe she's had it done as she regrets you not being as close now? If you are wanting to reconnect with her then could be an opportunity to gently point out that while the gesture might be nice it would mean a lot more for her to visit and possibly build up a relationship with your son rather then just having his name inked on her.

rnc

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

No. You do not need their permission. Your 'local' rules are not 'the law'. Anyone can take photos of anyone in a public place, you do not need the permission of any parent to take photos of their child.

Correct-for in a public place.

marisco_2

givemeavoice wrote: »

My little boy is 3 now, she was very supportive of the pregnancy and even called him her nephew... a month after he was born her mum died of cancer which totally devastated her of course.

I can understand that you feel uneasy about this discovery but I would handle the situation very sensitively. I think what you advised us of above may have played a part in all this. Maybe your friend got the tattoo whilst in the midst of grief over losing her mum. Witnessing someone you love dearly, die of such a horrific disease is terrible.

Your friend clearly thought alot of your little boy, referring to him as her nephew. It is easy for friendships to take a back seat when you have a newborn to care for. It is very unfortunate that at this time your friend lost her mum. I am sure you did all you could to help her but maybe she was lacking the closeness she craved and this was her way of keeping you and your new family with her.

A friendship that has lasted over 20 years isn't worth losing over something as harmless as a tattoo.

givemeavoice

Marisco, thank you so much for your reply, it makes a lot of sense.

I'll definitely bear that in mind when speaking to her. I know she had a terrible time, (she found out her mum had cancer on my due date, 5 weeks later she died) and she had a lot to deal with after, crazy stepdad etc... This is something luckily I've never yet had to deal with. I should be more sensitive due to the circumstances.

She did reply to my message, she said she was likely never to have children (due to her BF not wanting to have any) and at the end of the day I get a beautiful son, all that she wants is a memory.

I think I was initially angry because I just don't think anyone should do something like this with someone else's children. My son means everything and more to me and I feel as if this is just something that should never be done by anyone other than me or my OH while he's a child. But I've now realised that due to the strange situation that I should maybe let this lie...

Tbh I feel pretty ashamed of myself for feeling that way I did but I hope this can be resolved. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my posts and give your thoughts, they really have helped.

givemeavoice x