Friend Overstepping the Line... Thoughts?

raven83

givemeavoice wrote: »

I didn't mean to start such a fiery debate, sorry!

I realise I need to speak to her to have this out, and for us to understand where each other is coming from and decide where is best to go from there... I think I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being an overprotective mother and being out of order with the way I feel.

Just to reiterate yes, it is a new tattoo and it's of my son's name and DOB...

To the person who thinks I'm not a good friend, I'm sorry if I've given that impression. But I feel for a long time I have been chasing her, me sending emails or texts, me sending photos, cards and presents etc. I have tried to arrange meeting up but been met with excuses. In the end you just don't see the point in trying to keep going and accept it's just one of those things, and then you log on to facebook and find she's tattooed your childs name on herself. Since she hasn't ever sent a birthday card to him, I'm suprised she even got his DOB correct!

All I would have liked is some forewarning to what she was planning, not to give permission, I'd have just liked to have known...

Again thank you for the replies and opinions x

Well if that is the case and it is a new tattoo and you haven't seen each other for a while then i would say it is a strange thing to do. But maybe she is just one of these people that gets lots of names tattooed on her. At the end of the day though it is her body and she has to live with it so she can have anything she likes drawn on her. I wouldn't get angry with her though but i would just ask something like, "what made you have that done, it's not like we are that close anymore" Does she have children of her own?

londonsurrey

givemeavoice wrote: »

Since she hasn't ever sent a birthday card to him, I'm suprised she even got his DOB correct!

Well, the good news is that she's missing out the first step of being a stalker.

givemeavoice wrote: »

I think I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being an overprotective mother and being out of order with the way I feel.

Checking seems like a good thing to do in general.
There are all kinds of strange people out there, I do number myself amongst them. The thing I look out for, having travelled and spent a good part of my life staring perplexed at the world, is whether the person's intentions are bad.

Thus far, you friend as you describe her is given to accumulating tatoos, a bit of a crummy letter writer, friendly and chatty if you initiate contact, and probably happily in her own world doing her stuff.

I don't sense any malice or intent to harm, which at the end of the day, is much preferable to me than a person who conforms to societal norms, but is malicious or grabbing.

DebtFreein5Months

My 2 pence worth:

Not as strange as I first thought after reading that she has other people's names tattoo'd on her - although if it was my BF and my child's name on her - I would be very grateful that she does live a long way away - have you seen the film Single White Female? eek!
Seriously though, I wouldn't worry about it too much, but I wouldn't invite her to stay for the weekend either...

lostinrates

I din't think it matters how oftuen you see her, a friend who remembers your childs birthday is obviously someone who cares for you (and your child). I never remember my friends childrens birthdays, struggle with my neices' too. Even though i like them all. In fact, tbh, i barely remember any friends' birthdays.

Tish_P

When I first read this and thought your son' name was her only tattoo, that came across as seriously creepy. But if she just has a habit of writing the names of people who matter to her on her body, then it's just a quirk. See if you can use it as an opportunity to rekindle the friendship, if that's what you want - e.g. you could remind her she now has NO excuse to forget to send him a birthday card!

burnoutbabe

what is the point of having it out with her, she can't really do much about it now can she?

londonsurrey

burnoutbabe wrote: »

what is the point of having it out with her, she can't really do much about it now can she?

The OP might not want her son to be an only child

KitKat00

OP, the fact that she did not consider you is to be pointed out. She is showing a way of reconnecting with you but without contacting you to let you know she's done it, makes her look a bit odd

geminilady

givemeavoice wrote: »

I didn't mean to start such a fiery debate, sorry!

I realise I need to speak to her to have this out, and for us to understand where each other is coming from and decide where is best to go from there... I think I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being an overprotective mother and being out of order with the way I feel.

Just to reiterate yes, it is a new tattoo and it's of my son's name and DOB...

To the person who thinks I'm not a good friend, I'm sorry if I've given that impression. But I feel for a long time I have been chasing her, me sending emails or texts, me sending photos, cards and presents etc. I have tried to arrange meeting up but been met with excuses. In the end you just don't see the point in trying to keep going and accept it's just one of those things, and then you log on to facebook and find she's tattooed your childs name on herself. Since she hasn't ever sent a birthday card to him, I'm suprised she even got his DOB correct!

All I would have liked is some forewarning to what she was planning, not to give permission, I'd have just liked to have known...

Again thank you for the replies and opinions x

Glad you are going to speak to her,twenty years of friendship should not be given up on.To my mind she obviously cares about you a lot,why else would she have had the tattoo?Maybe she is one of those people who never send cards?talking to her is the only way you are going to find out and there may be a reason she has not visited, maybe she really wants a child and it would upset her to see yours?it could be anything.Hope you update when you have spoken to her.

Sambucus_Nigra

KitKat00 wrote: »

OP, the fact that she did not consider you is to be pointed out. She is showing a way of reconnecting with you but without contacting you to let you know she's done it, makes her look a bit odd

She did contact her to let her know she'd done it. Hence the thread.