Friend Overstepping the Line... Thoughts?

tea_lover

KitKat00 wrote: »

Nowadays you need permission from parents to photograph children at events, why not the same for a tattoo on someone else's body that isn't the parent?

It's just a name and date, why on earth would you need permission for that?

I agree it's weird and I wouldn't like it at all if it were my child/friend, but however odd it is she doesn't need permission to have a tattoo of whatever she wants.

Amanda65

londonsurrey wrote: »

The weird bit was her calling your little boy her nephew. You didn't object, so she simply carried on treating him in the same way as the rest of her treasured people, and that includes etching his name on her.

Another example of how we all differ. My best friend and I had our children at similar times and they have all grown up very close to each other, spending lots of time together including holidays. As we both have brothers who have only recently had children (our eldest are 21!) and neither had relations on OH's sides we used to refer the the children to each other as 'cousins' and I referred to her children as my nieces and nephews and vice versa rather than keep saying 'my best friend's son/daughter' when I spoke about them (which always sounded a bit lame to me ). It was only when my eldest DD and her eldest DS went to a festival together when they were 17 and (completely platonically) shared a tent and her son's friends started questioning how they were 'related' that anyone twigged! Cue some rather disbelieving and jealous 17 year old friends :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

KitKat00

fluffnutter wrote: »

No, you don't.

You do. I've worked in places where to photograph the children at the events, I needed their parents to sign a permission form. But this is getting off topic. I still stand by my assertion

londonsurrey

Amanda65 wrote: »

Another example of how we all differ. My best friend and I had our children at similar times and they have all grown up very close to each other, spending lots of time together including holidays. As we both have brothers who have only recently had children (our eldest are 21!) and neither had relations on OH's sides we used to refer the the children to each other as 'cousins' and I referred to her children as my nieces and nephews and vice versa rather than keep saying 'my best friend's son/daughter' when I spoke about them (which always sounded a bit lame to me ). It was only when my eldest DD and her eldest DS went to a festival together when they were 17 and (completely platonically) shared a tent and her son's friends started questioning how they were 'related' that anyone twigged! Cue some rather disbelieving and jealous 17 year old friends :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I take your point, and didn't mean weird in a derogatory way.

I have a friend who has had a complicated past, and her children have lots of half siblings, and through them, some "siblings" who are not actual blood relations. But the point is that they regard each other as unequivocally family, so simply use the label "cousin" to spare half an hour of complicated explanations to strangers.

Maybe "out of the expected norms" would have been a better word to use. A standard social norm was crossed when the friend ventured to use "nephew" when referring to the OP's son.

It was at this point that the OP could have made a decision that she didn't want her friend to treat her son as a nephew. The thing is, the friend's claim to the son as a nephew wasn't refuted, so she's merrily gone on treating him as such, and apparently, HER nephews get their names tatooed on her!

I dare say any other nephews and nieces would find their names similarly commemorated too.

runningwoman

Get a tattoo of her face on your arm in revenge.

MeganKate

runningwoman wrote: »

Get a tattoo of her face on your arm in revenge.

That made me LOL !

System

I'd think she was batty but it wouldnt bother me in the slightest.

Get a tattoo of her face on your arm in revenge.

Love it!:D

FatVonD

balletshoes wrote: »

I didn't see any mention of a portrait? Just the name and date of birth.

You're right, I've clearly watched too much LA Ink :rotfl:

In that case I think it's even less to worry about, there will be hundreds, if not thousands of children with the same name born on any given date.

Sambucus_Nigra

KitKat00 wrote: »

You do. I've worked in places where to photograph the children at the events, I needed their parents to sign a permission form. But this is getting off topic. I still stand by my assertion

No. You do not need their permission. Your 'local' rules are not 'the law'. Anyone can take photos of anyone in a public place, you do not need the permission of any parent to take photos of their child.

givemeavoice

I didn't mean to start such a fiery debate, sorry!

I realise I need to speak to her to have this out, and for us to understand where each other is coming from and decide where is best to go from there... I think I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being an overprotective mother and being out of order with the way I feel.

Just to reiterate yes, it is a new tattoo and it's of my son's name and DOB...

To the person who thinks I'm not a good friend, I'm sorry if I've given that impression. But I feel for a long time I have been chasing her, me sending emails or texts, me sending photos, cards and presents etc. I have tried to arrange meeting up but been met with excuses. In the end you just don't see the point in trying to keep going and accept it's just one of those things, and then you log on to facebook and find she's tattooed your childs name on herself. Since she hasn't ever sent a birthday card to him, I'm suprised she even got his DOB correct!

All I would have liked is some forewarning to what she was planning, not to give permission, I'd have just liked to have known...

Again thank you for the replies and opinions x