Friend Overstepping the Line... Thoughts?

Amanda65

givemeavoice wrote: »

Yes am certain it's real, she has quite a lot of tattoos, and a few of other peoples names. Which I suppose is odd but ultimately, they're names of adults, close friends, blood family etc... if they had an issue then they can take it up with her (she has one of my name, which she got when we were very close and eventhough I found it odd, I decided to overlook!)

So she does have a history of this then. I find it very bizarre but not as sinister as I thought from your first post knowing this.

givemeavoice wrote: »

It sort of upsets me that she thought it appropriate to spend around £100 on a tattoo of that size and detail than use a bit of it on a train fare to come see me and my son, which would have meant more than a tacky tattoo..

Then tell her ! Why not phone and say that although the tattoo obviously shows how much your son means to her, her presence back in your lives would mean so much more

beautiful_ravens

If she has other people inked on her aswell I dont find this too bad. Shes your close friend and maybe shes proud of you, maybe she wanted to acknowledge that in some way, maybe she wants to be permenently marked with people she cares about - you and your child included amongst family names, that says something, in a bizarre way? I can see how she might have thought youd find it 'great' especially as she hasnt had kids - maybe if she does have kids, she will see things differently. There is a lot to be said for having kids and knowing what its like as opposed to guessing what its like.
That said, Id have to call and talk to her instead of trying to guess her motives.

KitKat00

That would actually creep me out. You have to ask her what she's doing with that. Tell her that she needs permission to do that as she is not his mother

tea_lover

Knowing that she has lots of other names (including your own) does seem to make it slighly less creepy. But even so, it is odd, especially considering you haven't even seen each other for years!

Maybe see it as a sign that she wants to get back in touch properly and restart your friendship?

FatVonD

I was going to ask if she had other tattoos and now I see you've said she does it doesn't sound so odd. If she's heavily into getting herself inked she may have just wanted a portrait and your son is the closest child she currently has to her. I'd probably be livid myself if it was my son but if it really bothers you then just lose touch again and there's someone walking around with a passable likeness of your son on her calk that you never have to see.

FatVonD

givemeavoice wrote: »

It sort of upsets me that she thought it appropriate to spend around £100 on a tattoo of that size and detail than use a bit of it on a train fare to come see me and my son, which would have meant more than a tacky tattoo... But now obviously, I'm not sure I want to see her!!

It will have cost a lot more than that!

MX5huggy

Relax, it's done you can't undo it. Focus on if this friend is worth the effort.

LandyAndy

KitKat00 wrote: »

That would actually creep me out. You have to ask her what she's doing with that. Tell her that she needs permission to do that as she is not his mother

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Are you for real?

pearl123

Tattoos seem to be this girls thing, so what seems very strange to you (and many of us) probably feels entirely natural to your friend. She's grieveing after the loss of her mother and possibly tattoos cheer her up.
Although very strange to most of us - I'd overlook and just see it as part of her personallity.

balletshoes

givemeavoice wrote: »

Special indeed! Scary... pretty much!

Yes am certain it's real, she has quite a lot of tattoos, and a few of other peoples names. Which I suppose is odd but ultimately, they're names of adults, close friends, blood family etc... if they had an issue then they can take it up with her (she has one of my name, which she got when we were very close and eventhough I found it odd, I decided to overlook!)

It's on the back of her calf and is roughly the size of the palm of my hand...

When I saw it in shock I just posted a reply saying "Wow." As in "Wow, I'm completely dumbfounded!!" She replied something along the lines of "Suprise! Got this yesterday!" So yes, am sure it is recent.

I don't know. She isn't a maternal type but if she was to ever have her own children... What on earth would they think? I wouldn't say she's the most balanced of people, but is usually harmless.
It sort of upsets me that she thought it appropriate to spend around £100 on a tattoo of that size and detail than use a bit of it on a train fare to come see me and my son, which would have meant more than a tacky tattoo
... But now obviously, I'm not sure I want to see her!!

Thank you for your helpful replies xxx

I may be the lone voice here, but I don't think you're a particularly good friend you know. You can't tell your friend how to spend her money, and if it would have meant something to you to see her you could have got on the bus. Its her money, her body, if she wants to honour you and your child by tattoing her body in that way its up to her. I really don't know why you're angry, and why your OH is livid - especially since your friend already has your name on her body, and other people who are special to her!

I don't think you need to worry about when she has kids and they see their Mum tatto'ed with other people's names and dates of birth, she'll surely have room for their names and dates of births too .

This is no more weird than the other names she has tatto'ed on her, and you said yourself she's harmless. So wheres the harm exactly?