Taken to court by grandparent - advice please

duckeggblue

I havent read all the posts but itis the mention of domestic violence that I read.To who?

spacegirlfive

duckeggblue wrote: »

I havent read all the posts but itis the mention of domestic violence that I read.To who?

Grandmother has short and unpredictable temper; has been known to lose temper over trivial incidences and break, throw things etc. Has been the cause of nervousness throughout my childhood and adulthood.
Also violence to her husband prior to divorce (cited as one of the reasons in original divorce proceedings). I witnessed this but there is no documentation (e.g. Police records) as proof.

rpc

spacegirlfive wrote: »

Also violence to her husband prior to divorce (cited as one of the reasons in original divorce proceedings). I witnessed this but there is no documentation (e.g. Police records) as proof.

If it was cited in divorce proceedings, I don't understand why there is no proof? Surely the divorce paperwork is the proof...

georgiesmum

Interesting post. I didn't know that grandparents could be given accessibility rights if the parents didn't want them to.
I have a 2 year old grandson that i am not allowed to see. I wouldn't go to court for him as even if you are granted the right there will always be excuses, child is ill, had a fall, mother is not well, no money for travel, child gets travel sick. There are a multitude of excuses that a parent can make to prevent access. And living so far away is surely the best excuse of all. I would be inclined to say fine if the grandmother can make the journey she is welcome. Unreasonable to expect you to make the journey with 2 small children. Just see how often she does make the effort.
Good luck with that. By the way who is paying for all the court costs? Not you i hope. :eek:

euronorris

rpc wrote: »

They have no rights. All the rights belong to the child.

Legally, no. Morally, it's a matter of opinion.

In that case, a court should still not intervene unless social services conclude that there is a problem (which they clearly should in the scenario you describe). Access will not help the child there, removal would. It is not for a grandparent to do the job of social services (but that doesn't mean they shouldn't help social services).

Social services are overwhelmed by all of the cases they have, and people & their children sometimes slip through the net. Plus, they rely on other people (including family members) pointing out to them that there is a problem which should be investigated. If a grandparent is denied access, they have nothing to go on, other than the communication with their own child - which may well be 'We're fine. Leave us alone.'. And just because they have said that, doesn't mean it is true. A Grandparent having access rights could make the difference between that child being helped, or not.

So, I disagree. Access could be hugely beneficial to the child.

euronorris

RuthG wrote: »

The OP's question was not to invite moralising on the benefits or otherwise of her parents being involved in her children's lives. You are all correct - you dont know the story. But what was asked was whether CAFCASS might get their act together and complete a report before the next hearing and whether it would be possible to keep from the grandmother the fact that the OP is expecting child #2.

It really is not the place of anyone on this forum (or any other) to be saying (whether openly or by implication) that the OP is wrong to deny contact in the first place. Whatever the situation, the court will eventually work its way through the minefield of human relationships in this particular scenario.

You're quite right. I have got caught up in debating the moral aspect of the points raised in general (my comments were in no way meant to imply that the OP is wrong to deny contact), when that is not what this thread is about.

Sorry to have hijacked your thread OP. I hope you have received the information you need, and found those specific posts helpful (in particular RuthG's) and wish you all the best for the future.

rpc

euronorris wrote: »

Legally, no. Morally, it's a matter of opinion.

They are going to court. It is legal, not moral, rights that matter.

euronorris

Please see my post above.

POPPYOSCAR

georgiesmum wrote: »

Interesting post. I didn't know that grandparents could be given accessibility rights if the parents didn't want them to.
I have a 2 year old grandson that i am not allowed to see. I wouldn't go to court for him as even if you are granted the right there will always be excuses, child is ill, had a fall, mother is not well, no money for travel, child gets travel sick. There are a multitude of excuses that a parent can make to prevent access. And living so far away is surely the best excuse of all. I would be inclined to say fine if the grandmother can make the journey she is welcome. Unreasonable to expect you to make the journey with 2 small children. Just see how often she does make the effort.
Good luck with that. By the way who is paying for all the court costs? Not you i hope. :eek:

Yes, this a very good point.

Some fathers have great difficulty in actually getting access even when granted by the courts, and the courts do little to enforce it. So what chance would the grandparents stand anyway even if they did manage to be granted access rights.

Ellejmorgan

Although not the same when contact was sorted with my ex via the courts and cafcass he was told that the child shouldn't travel too far, he was obligated to travel to her...
After 3 years of no contact he forced the issue and got himself in a position where he had to do a 300 mile round trip for 3 hours contact per month...
It was him that moved away from the child btw...
Even if no car he had to get the train/bus, at one point he had to leave his house at 4.30 am to be at contact for 10am...

After 3 years we had another child, it didn't work out he now doesn't bother with either kids and has broken his contact order for the past 4 months, this is deemed as contempt of court and if I wanted to I could get my legal to address this and persue it..

Cafcass are not keen at all on kids travelling for more than 20-30 mins could this help your case ?????..