Taken to court by grandparent - advice please

spacegirlfive

Hi there, don't know if anyone out there is knowledgeable about this slightly unusual legal issue...

For many (legitimate) reasons, I haven't spoken to one of my parents in years. She has somehow found out that I have a young son and is taking me and my partner to court to try and gain contact with him. We have already attended court once but it was adjourned as CAFCASS had not managed to compile a report on the case in time.

My first question is, the next hearing is soon and CAFCASS have still not been in touch; we have called them and so far they have failed toget back to us. There is no way they will have the report ready in time for the hearing. Can we request a further adjournment ourselves or do we have to take more time off work to attend the hearing, only for it to be adjourned again?

My second question is, I am just about to have another child and don't want this revealed to the grandparent as she might decide to take us to court over that one separately. So my partner needs to attend court alone to represent both of us. If I supply the judge with a doctor's letter, does s/he have a right to reveal the contents of the letter during the court proceedings? I didn't attend the last hearing due to being heavily pregnant and my doctor wrote a letter saying it would not be good for my health to attend - but the judge was very displeased because there was no specific reason stated on the letter (as I didn't want to reveal that I was heavily pregnant). She read this one out in court and I don't feel that they should have the right to reveal my private health issues in court to the applicants.

I wonder if anyone can help with these questions? I would be very grateful for any knowledgeable advice.

Caroline_a

I think you need to ask your solicitor. If you have good reasons why your child should not have contact with this woman then this will be true for both children.

kingfisherblue

I agree with Caroline - you need a solicitor, preferably one that has a specialist family section.

Penny-Pincher!!

Cafcass will leave everything to the very last minute. Make sure you note down date and times that you're leaving messages for them or they could use it against you and state that you haven't bothered. I have heard this on many occasions.

lilibet1

This is disgusting that you are being put through this. How dare she do this to you. How long is it since you have seen her and why didn't you see her? I really do feel for you.

Dunroamin

lilibet1 wrote: »

This is disgusting that you are being put through this. How dare she do this to you. How long is it since you have seen her and why didn't you see her? I really do feel for you.

That's a bit strong on the information we've been given - two sides to every story and all that!

GobbledyGook

I can't answer your questions about your pregnancy. I was taken to court by my children's Grandmother. Cafcass are very last minute in my experience. I was tearing my hair out with them.

What has your solicitor said about your pregnancy? Personally I would have thought it better to tell the judge about the pregnancy and get the matter sorted once and for all, instead of risking it kicking off again soon. I had a very young baby at the time it happened to me and the judge was very sympathetic.

The thing to remember is that none of the adults have any rights to see the child. The only person with rights is the child and contact will only be given if it benefitted them.

Desperado99

GobbledyGook wrote: »

The thing to remember is that none of the adults have any rights to see the child. The only person with rights is the child and contact will only be given if it benefitted them.

Speaking as someone who is also estranged from a grandparent (MIL - who is notorious for getting solicitors involved) this has been my fear since DD was a baby - luckily she has never shown any great interest in DD (so far anyway).

I have no advice for you except highlighting what GobbledyGook has written.

I hope it all works out for you

lilibet1

Dunroamin - if op hasn't seen this woman for along time, there is usually a very good reason for it. This is the op's family now and I can't see why she should have to hand her child over to her mother when as she says herself there are good reasons why she hasnt seen her mother in years. Why should she have to hand her children over to a complete stranger just because her mother now wants to use her "rights" and possibly just be doing this to cause trouble. I understand there are two sides to every story but there are some weird people in this world too who may have too muh time and money on their hands to do this.

gibson123

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I can't answer your questions about your pregnancy. I was taken to court by my children's Grandmother. Cafcass are very last minute in my experience. I was tearing my hair out with them.

What has your solicitor said about your pregnancy? Personally I would have thought it better to tell the judge about the pregnancy and get the matter sorted once and for all, instead of risking it kicking off again soon. I had a very young baby at the time it happened to me and the judge was very sympathetic.

The thing to remember is that none of the adults have any rights to see the child. The only person with rights is the child and contact will only be given if it benefitted them.

This is very good advice, keep it about the child/ren, put your own feelings aside and concentrate on why contact with you Mother is not in the best interest of the child/ren. Agree you need a good family solicitor on your side.

Dunroamin

lilibet1 wrote: »

Dunroamin - if op hasn't seen this woman for along time, there is usually a very good reason for it. This is the op's family now and I can't see why she should have to hand her child over to her mother when as she says herself there are good reasons why she hasnt seen her mother in years. Why should she have to hand her children over to a complete stranger just because her mother now wants to use her "rights" and possibly just be doing this to cause trouble. I understand there are two sides to every story but there are some weird people in this world too who may have too muh time and money on their hands to do this.

There may well be a good reason but that doesn't mean the OP is in the right!

The OP's mother is a much a part of her family as her children are and to describe her as a complete stranger is just ridiculous, even if the OP hasn't seen her for a while. To describe having contact as handing a child over is a total exaggeration and doesn't help the OP at all.

What is needed is moderation and mediation and hopefully this is what will be decided by an objective body.

Quit stirring!