partners phone never leaves his side

easy

I'm astounded at this thread.

What kind of a relationship do you have?

DH and I (married 19.5 years and VERY happy) don't have secrets from each other, and there isn't anything I can think of that we couldn't discuss.

We come in from work and our phones get put down in the living room. Both are passcoded, but that is simply to stop our DS from playing games on them, we use the same passcode, and often answer each-others phones if they ring while we are busy.

Of course we both receive texts from our own friends or business contacts, and don't normally ask each other "who is texting you?", altho I might ask DH if he receives a text or an email one late at night (he's on lots of mailing lists, so late emails aren't unusual not unusual). He doesn't regard this as intrusive, simply friendly curiosity, and tells me.
We also tend to chat generally about the calls or texts we take, as we do about the way the day went, or something funny we heard in a shop ...

I don't think your OH's behaviour with his phone is a problem per se, I think his attitude to you is. I also suspect that you will never really be able to trust him again (but I think I would struggle with that if DH cheated on me).

Personally, I think your relationship is probably pretty shot, maybe it's time to move on ??

juliethemuse

i was going to suggest looking at it whilst he's alsleep, but someones just beaten me to it. cant you sneak downstairs with it and look. that will put your mind at rest once and for all. i wonder what airplane mode is? off to find out....

System

Well my husband must be having an affair too then. He sleeps with it next to him and he wears it in a holder type thingy that is attatched to his belt. Ive got no chance of getting my mitts on it.

Oh well, never mind. If he can find someone he loves better than me then ive told him before.... he can have her.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

Just because the phone is on his side of the bed doesn't mean you can't get it when he's asleep and look at it.

You sound as if your resigned to his behaviour and dare I say it, making excuses, as if you don't really want to know.

I can only repeat - if you want to know for sure you need to get that phone.

Otherwise you can carry on for years as you are now, with that horrible uncertain sick feeling underneath. I know you can carry on like that for years because i've done it.

You've had some good advise given to you on this thread. I'd suggest reading through the whole thread again as if it were someone else's thread and ask yourself what would you say.

snuggle69

Dodgy Dodgy Dodgy!

All these people saying you have trust issues, what a load of tosh! That is not normal behaviour..... Most definatly the switching off part of it, he is hiding something.

My ex had an affair and did exactly the same thing, in fact he became really nasty if I tried to question him saying I didnt trust him blah blah blah....

Just ask him for the phone if he has nothing to hide he will do it, offer him yours as part exchange so he can check yours as well, although I suspect that you dont switch yours off, take it to the toilet of have it glued to your hand like he does!

antonia1

juliethemuse wrote: »

i was going to suggest looking at it whilst he's alsleep, but someones just beaten me to it. cant you sneak downstairs with it and look. that will put your mind at rest once and for all. i wonder what airplane mode is? off to find out....

How on earth is checking the phone going to put the OP's mind at rest? Her OH could also be good at covering his tracks if he's having an affair - deleting messages, call records etc.

The only thing that will put the OP's mind at rest is if she trusts him. And trust is not based on the ability to check up on someone whenever you feel like it. I have absolutely nothing to hide from my OH, but I would break up with him immediately if I found he had broken my trust by invading my privacy (not least because he'd get a big head if he read my gushy messages about him to friends :rotfl:).

ETA: the only person I know personally cheating on his girlfriend defo clears his phone after each message from the floozy, so whenever his gf gets suspicious he can say "well check my phone if you don't believe me".

Welshwoofs

maybebaybe wrote: »

Again not possible its always by his side of the bed and always set to airplane mode at night ( whatever that is ) lol

My ex did that - the only time his phone was out of his mitts was when it was on the bedside table on his side of the bed at night charging and I could never get my hands on it.

So I keylogged his computer instead.......;)

In my experience if you listen to your gut you *know* deep inside if something is amiss or not. If you have that feeling then you need to find out if you're on the money. The fact that you've asked him about his phone only twice and he's reacted angrily each time is a huge warning sign to me.

By the way - the really late night text he got on that occasion you asked him. Did he answer it there and then? Only when I get late night work-related texts I know they're going to be emergencies and I need to deal with them right away.

pimento

He's trying to make it your problem. I reckon he's up to something. He has a history after all and if he isn't why won't he just put your mind at rest?

No. If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck it's usually a duck.

Sorry.

Edwardia

My OH has his own smartphone plus a BlackBerry and a pager for work. They go off all the time so he keeps them with him in his trouser pockets and the pager clipped to his belt.

I have a BlackBerry and leave it on a table next to me when sitting down but otherwise it's stuffed in a pocket.

I see nothing wrong with anyone keeping their phone convos and texts private. Neither of us would dream of interrogating the other about calls or texts or snooping.

You want to do that so you ask here in the hope that someone will say of course it's OK to snoop in your partner's phone. It isn't.

purple.sarah

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Am i the only one who doesn't think its very hygenic to take you're phone into the loo? :eek:

Your Cell Phone Has 18x More Bacteria On It Than A Toilet Handle :eek: