partners phone never leaves his side

maybebaybe

simply as it says above, his phone never leaves his side, I mean never, he even takes it into the bathroom with him for any occasion he is in there !! and if he does ever leave it lying around he switches it off !!

Now this is not new behaviour he has always been like this and we have been living together 18 months but tbh it is getting very frustrating, he never tells me who texts and if I do ask, he gets annoyed asking why I want to know etc.

We have had trust issues in the past but I have never once looked at his phone, just mentioned his strange behaviour with it and he got angry so have left it ever since.

I have no idea why he behaves this way with his phone, my question is does anyone else's partner act like this with their phone ?

I'm kinda hoping a lot do !!

Gingham_R

No. When he had a mobile phone, he used to give it to me to use and generally leave it lying around with the messages still visible on it. He'd also read me texts that came through if he thought I'd be interested in them or just generally pass comment on who was texting him if it went while we were together.

Everyone's different and an element of privacy is pretty normal. What you're describing is pretty extreme though.

System

My ex was like this (same with his laptop) and it turned out he was texting other women.

julie03

my brother did this with his partner, he was on drugs and was texting his dealer or didnt want her to see what numbers he had on there.

sound iffy to me

coolcait

I carry my phone around with me pretty much all the time - so that I know what time it is (don't like watches, as I usually end up with contact dermatitis).

I'm not having an affair, I rarely text anyone, and I hardly ever make or receive calls.

If my partner obsessed about my phone to the extent that I had to leave it where he could see it, access it; if he questioned me about who was texting me; if he decided to call my behaviour 'strange'...

I would feel that he was trying to control me, and I would keep my phone even closer. And I would certainly get angry if he decided to call my behaviour 'strange', while ignoring his own behaviour.

You (plural) didn't just 'have trust issues' in the past. You (singular) clearly have trust issues now.

you need to figure out why you have those trust issues, and deal wih them. Preferably in a way which doesn't involve controlling behaviour.

dottydee854

See the phone leaving your side is pretty normal. As explained by someone earlier about the time and watches. I hate watches, anything on my wrist irratates me. So i have my phone with me all the time and so does my partner (he mainly just facebooks and catches up on tv he misses ect.) But when i ask what your doing or i hear his phone go off, usually 9/10 he will say 'oh blah blah text saying ect ect' or 'can you check who its from?' Not that we have trust issues, just curiosity. I understand your frustration, i would get suspisious of my partner getting aggitated by me asking whos texting or leaving his phone off on the side (i mean come on am i the only one who rarely switches their phone off?! I just charge and go and if it needs a reboot i reboot it). Sounds odd the getting annoyed by asking whos texting, only if your not pestering lol (sure your not).

I know we all like privacy, as we are all entitled to, but to me personally seems strange. I would talk to him about it properlly when your both calm and his phone is off. Tell him how it makes you feel, if it was me i'd feel a tad insecure.

X Chelle x

Gingham_R

I appreciate that you want to know the time and therefore carry the phone everywhere, but taking the phone to the loo and never putting it down seems a bit unusual?

I'd be very curious to know what the problem was with a phone that couldn't be put down without being turned off and had to be taken into the toilet.

Unless of course the person was particularly anal about other things too and had rituals for all his possessions...

amyloofoo

coolcait wrote: »

I carry my phone around with me pretty much all the time - so that I know what time it is (don't like watches, as I usually end up with contact dermatitis).

Even when you're going to the loo?

Whilst I'm also not a fan of controlling behaviour, it seems to me that it's his behaviour that's unusual, and that OP is met with him becoming defensive if she questions this.

I too was concerned about seeing the 'trust issues' comment but we don't know what's behind these issues - if he's cheated in the past / had a gambling issue / drug problems then being concerned about him hiding his phone may well be completely logical.

newbutold

Sorry to say this but 9 out of 10 times on here when reading about a phone never leaving someone's side in similar circumstances to what you have described it turns out that they have something to hide. Be it up to no good texting or more with another woman or something else it usual is not anything innocent.

I pretty much take my phone everywhere with me, including to the loo sometimes however at the same time if it's lying next to me and my partner picks it up and starts playing with it I don't have a problem with it.

dottydee854

My phone occasionally goes to the loo with me too! (generally so little hands dont touch i.e kids) To me this is normal, and similar to above, if my partner was to pick it up and say oh is it ok to text blah blah or check this or that then i'd let him (unless i was doing something important on their like half way through a game or texting)

Chelle x

coolcait

I use my phone as a watch. So it goes everywhere with me, including the loo. Especially the loo, in the mornings, when I need to be sure that I/we are not running late!

But, as is usually the cases with threads like these, it doesn't really matter what everyone else does.

My phone foibles aren't a problem for my OH. I don't feel the need to quiz him about his phone, or where it is, or who he's texting. Neither of us ever feels the need to pick up the other's phone and 'start playing with it'...

Other people have a different approach to phones, but they seem to be fairly relaxed about it

The OP isn't. She has had trust issues in the past. We don't know why. She clearly has trust issues now.

She has focussed those trust issues on the way her partner deals with his phone.

However, the focus really needs to be on the trust issues.

All the 'what would you do?' type threads in the world won't change that fact.