partners phone never leaves his side

thehappybutterfly

The OP's partner knows she has trust issues. I think he's either he's up to something and hiding it or he's not and he's doing it deliberately to upset her and wind her up. I had major trust issues with my OH when we first met. I was absolutely convinced he was going out and meeting other girls (for no reason other than my low self esteem). This went on for years - I stopped accusing him but every time he went out on the town with the boys, I would almost beg him not to "meet anyone else".

Now, he could easily have gone out and done exactly what I was accusing him of, or he could have decided to wind me up and act all secretive. But he didn't. He knew about my issues and supported me and reassured me all the time tha he loved me and wasn't interested in anyone else. He put my fears to rest not viciously play on them as I've seen lots of people do to others.

Whatever the OP's partner is up to, it's unacceptable in my view.

Wilma33

The only chance I get to check my emails is on my phone when I'm on the loo! I can't be the only one...?

Taking it into the bathroom to have a shower seems odd though. Doesn't the damp ruin it? When I shower is the only time mine leaves my side and I'm certainly not having an affair and I don't have anythingto hide.

thehappybutterfly

and as for taking the phone to the loo - for God's sake! There's no need for it. Unless you're having a bath. Or cleaning the bathroom.

I've got severe asthma and I take my inhaler everywhere I go but even I draw the line at taking it to the loo. That's just obsessive. I hate people who can't put down their phones. I've had friends visit me at home for a cuppy who've sat and texted when they're supposed to be coming to see me. That would be like me bringing a book with me and proceeding to read it in their company! You wouldn't would you?

maybebaybe

thanks for all the responses, i had trust issues with him in the past and he knows why !! And yes he was being strange with his phone then, but at this point he even had a passcode on it and it was always kept on silent too, he said it was because the ringtones were broken or something like that but as I said he always has been.

We split for a couple of months because in his words whenever we had a problem and asked him a question if the answer he gave wasn't good enough, I would go on and on ( I didn't see this ) I just saw it as me trying to understand his answers and not really getting there !! ( but anyway thats not the issue )

when we got back together I did mention the phone thing and my suspicions over a girl he was texting all the time and going off to make secret calls too, ( I found out he went to spend a weekend with her when we split ) he said he didn't talk to her in front of me as he knew I would be jealous !! to this day he swears that they were just friends and I believe he no longer texts her !!

He agreed to no longer have a passcode on his phone, and I am trying so hard to put the trust issue behind me, I have never once looked at his phone and really don't want to feel the need to, I want more than anything to completly trust him !!

The problem is that his phone behaviour makes me worry !! And I dont understand why he can't see this !!

On a personal level I dont have a problem with him taking it to the loo lol, but I do get annoyed that it even has to go with him when he has a bath !! I mean come on.

I would never have wanted to look at his phone in anyway ever !! but his behaviour as some have said does really make me wonder !! I don't want him to be angry when I innocently ask who's texting so I tend not to ask ( sometimes he says oh its just so and so but rarely ) and when it does go off I say u have a text hun, he usually says oh its not a text its an email and leaves it at that !!

Gra76

My wifes phone is going off all day and all night. She's a textaholic. I don't know who she's texting and frankly I'm not bothered. It'll be her sister, mum or friends I guess.

Your trust issue is the problem here. Everytime you mention his phone it becomes more of a problem. Everytime you mention it he'll feel like you're trying to get more control over him and what he does. You won't see it as controlling but he will. If he's anything like I used to be he'll have made a mental note of each time you've said something 'innocently' and it'll be grinding away at him.

If you don't want to look at his phone why has he agreed not have a passcode on his phone anymore? Regardless of what your intentions are having him agree to this, I'd be pretty confident in saying that in his head he'll think you're trying to control him more. Which you are if you've asked him not to have a passcode anymore.

If he has history of playing around behind your back and he's done this via texting before then I can understand why you want to see what he's doing on his phone (even if you say you don't!)

Why not just come out and ask him to show you his texts. Get it out of the way and if he's got nothing to worry about he'll show you. Then you can either kick him to the kerb or start trusting him more.

On a lighter note....I take my phone to the loo with me cos it's the only place my boys don't hang over my shoulders while I get some angry birds time in....

bestpud

My phone comes everywhere with me - only time it doesn't is when it's on charge, but I'll often unplug it and take it with me even then.

I use it when I'm in the bath and [shock horror!] I use it when I'm on the loo as well - it's the only peace and quiet I get!! I don't pee on it or use it to wipe my rear end so no hygiene issues, just to be clear! I wash my phone case at least daily anyway as it's constantly being picked up and put down.

I've never had an affair and never would and I definitely have nothing to hide from my OH! I'd be offended if he thought I did tbh!

I do have an issue with anyone thinking they have a right to look at my phone/diary/emails/post... Everyone is entitled to privacy - even those of us in relationships.

It's your problem OP and you won't overcome it by projecting your issues into your partner. It would be different if you genuinely suspected he is having an affair or up to no good but I don't think that is the case?

newcook

maybebaybe wrote: »

On a personal level I dont have a problem with him taking it to the loo lol, but I do get annoyed that it even has to go with him when he has a bath !! I mean come on.

its very rarely that my phone is less than a meter away from me - I take it to the loo with me so I can check facebook/emails/play angry birds etc while I do my business. I take it with me when I go for a shower or a bath so I can listen to music.

its also sods law that on the rare occassion I leave it unattended that someone will call or text me! (and before its asked, no I dont answer my phone on the loo!!!)

jungle_jane

My OH plays Angry Birds on the loo too and it's quite disturbing hearing the squawking and popping noises coming out of the toilet. I do think it's a bit gross - I have a vision of him flushing and a thin mist of loo water settling on his phone. He does the same with the iPad (which i now named the LooPad) and since he starting doing this no-one in the family has the stomach to touch it.

It was quite amusing when i once picked the iPad up and told him I was going to the loo with it - the look of horror on his face was priceless.

Anyhow OP aside from that bit of disgusting info i must say i find it weird that he won't tell you who is texting....we tell each other all the time - if there is nothing to hide, why wouldn't you?

KiKi

I keep my phone with me all the time, that's just how I am. I'm not doing anything remotely dodgy.

I don't think him keeping the phone with him is concerning - and I imagine the reason he brushes you off is because he's fed up of being asked as it shows you don't trust him. Which is the issue here.

If you trust him, then stop letting it be a problem. If you don't trust him, then you have to talk it through, because if it's not the phone that's the problem, it will be something else.

KiKi

bestpud

jungle_jane wrote: »

My OH plays Angry Birds on the loo too and it's quite disturbing hearing the squawking and popping noises coming out of the toilet. I do think it's a bit gross - I have a vision of him flushing and a thin mist of loo water settling on his phone. He does the same with the iPad (which i now named the LooPad) and since he starting doing this no-one in the family has the stomach to touch it.

It was quite amusing when i once picked the iPad up and told him I was going to the loo with it - the look of horror on his face was priceless.

Anyhow OP aside from that bit of disgusting info i must say i find it weird that he won't tell you who is texting....we tell each other all the time - if there is nothing to hide, why wouldn't you?

Tell him to put the lid down before flushing!

Novel way of getting an iPad to himself though!