partners phone never leaves his side

coolcait

amyloofoo wrote: »

Even when you're going to the loo?

Whilst I'm also not a fan of controlling behaviour, it seems to me that it's his behaviour that's unusual, and that OP is met with him becoming defensive if she questions this.

I too was concerned about seeing the 'trust issues' comment but we don't know what's behind these issues - if he's cheated in the past / had a gambling issue / drug problems then being concerned about him hiding his phone may well be completely logical.

I've answered your question about my phone habits already .

Interestingly, it irritated me to be questioned about my reasons for taking my phone everywhere. I picked up a hint of mistrust and disbelief in that very pointed question "Even when you're going to the loo?"

And we're not even in a relationship! :rotfl:

I know much of my reaction comes from years of having to explain about the contact dermatitis, and being embarrassed about it - and therefore getting angry about having to explain it. Your question probably wasn't even meant to be 'pointed'.

So, it's very easy for me to transfer those emotions into how I would react if my 'partner for life' told me that my behaviour is 'strange'. Or 'unusual'.

Especially if my behaviour had always been like this (as is the case with the OP's partner). So, to me, it would feel controlling if my partner tried to make me change that behaviour - especially if it was done by ridiculing me.

If we knew why there were trust issues, that might cast a different light on the situation. But, we don't. We can only speculate.

System

Am i the only one who doesn't think its very hygenic to take you're phone into the loo? :eek:

newbutold

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Am i the only one who doesn't think its very hygenic to take you're phone into the loo? :eek:

Depends I guess.

For me, say if I am going upstairs to the bedroom phone in hand and need the loo, I will take phone in and put it on windowsill then take it on to the bedroom.

It's not like I am sat on the loo phone in hand.

RainbowDreamer

I take mine to the loo so the kids dont mess with it.
But it stays in my pocket so doesn't really come into contact with anything from going to the loo.

coolcait

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Am i the only one who doesn't think its very hygenic to take you're phone into the loo? :eek:

Why?

Allegedly, the average office desks has more germs on it than the average toilet seat. Yet, lots of people are happy to sit their phones on their desk all day.

Why is it so unhygienic to take a phone into the loo?

I don't sit it on the toilet, put it in the toilet, or pee on it. I wash my hands before picking it up again.

It's probably further away from the unhygienic action than a wristwatch would be. No one would bat an eyelid if I took a wristwatch into the loo.

Or a handbag.

That's just a taster of how I would react if I felt that I was being manipulated into pandering to an OH's irrational jealous fears (speaking personally).

Yet, of course, that would simply reinforce the irrationally jealous belief ("there must be a reason why she's reacting so strongly....; no smoke without fire....")

theoldcynic

Mmm i would find taking a phone into the loo a bit strange just so you can tell the time??! I mean come on how long do you spend on the loo to need to know the time?! :rotfl: But each to their own eh!

I would find the fact that he switches the phone off whenever it is not in his possession a bit strange too. Does he switch it off when he has it on charge as well? Combined with the fact that he is getting angry and defensive when you ask him who texts it doesn't look good. To be keeping tabs on your phone like that, to not even once forget or leave it accidentally discarded on the table?

I ask my OH who has texted him occasionally and he asks me if it's received in each others presence, I wholly disagree with the assumption that we don't trust each other or we're 'pandering' to any 'jealous fears' because of this. We're showing an interest in each others lives and are willing to share. He or i might chuckle at receiving a text and it is nice to share the joke. But we have nothing to hide I guess. To not once in 18 months share who has texted you I think it is a bit odd.

If he is switching his phone off every single time it is not in his possession, it could indicate that the OPs other half has trust issues rather than the OP as has been suggested above, or has something to hide. Whichever reason it may be I don't think it bodes well for the relationship.

killerpeaty

Personally, I hate when my partner looks at my phone. It's my phone! I share my stuff, my life, my ideas, my problems (his problems as well) and err other things with him, why should he share my phone?
Everyone likes to have something that is private, be it a diary or possessions. I do take my phone to the toilet with me, I don't even do anything with it and honestly there's no point of anyone looking at it, I'm a very boring person. But that doesn't stop me panicking when my partner looks at my phone, I don't want him to realise how boring I really am :rotfl:

On the other hand, I understand it can be a bit scary that you don't have access to it, try speaking to him calmly. Saying "I'm feeling a bit worried that ..." rather than "Your phone! Give it to me!" (over dramatisation obviously) is less likely to get his back up. Good luck.

amyloofoo

coolcait wrote: »

I've answered your question about my phone habits already .

Interestingly, it irritated me to be questioned about my reasons for taking my phone everywhere. I picked up a hint of mistrust and disbelief in that very pointed question "Even when you're going to the loo?"

And we're not even in a relationship! :rotfl:

I know much of my reaction comes from years of having to explain about the contact dermatitis, and being embarrassed about it - and therefore getting angry about having to explain it. Your question probably wasn't even meant to be 'pointed'.

So, it's very easy for me to transfer those emotions into how I would react if my 'partner for life' told me that my behaviour is 'strange'. Or 'unusual'.

Especially if my behaviour had always been like this (as is the case with the OP's partner). So, to me, it would feel controlling if my partner tried to make me change that behaviour - especially if it was done by ridiculing me.

If we knew why there were trust issues, that might cast a different light on the situation. But, we don't. We can only speculate.

Lol, sorry to weird you out coolcait. You have a good reason for needing your phone with you all the time - maybe the OP's partner does too, but I think she would probably have mentioned if he had given her one. I get defensive when my hubby occasionally goes on my phone / laptop (not because I'm hiding anything, but it just makes me uncomfortable) so I do understand how it feels, but I think if the OP senses that something's wrong, it probably is.

FBaby

Yes his attitude with his phone is suspicious and my view had always been that someone secretive with their phone is someone up to no good. However if he had always acted the same that's a bit more reassuring that it could indeed be a long standing habit. I certainly know that I would act on it if it was my partner. Reacting defensively when asked about it certainly isn't encouraging.

daisiegg

My OH used to be like this with his phone (he has got a bit more relaxed) and it used to really bug me too. But with him, it's because he is constantly checking his work emails and Bloomberg on it. I never check his phone but I do know his passcode for it and if he's on it and I ask what he's doing, he will always tell me. I don't think he texts anyone apart from his sister, his daughter and his daughter's mum anyway. However when we were first together he was a bit more guarded and secretive about it and I think that was just to do with getting used to someone else being nosy after being on his own for a while!

I don't suppose, OP, your partner's phone is an iPhone or similar and he is accessing work emails on it like mine is...? That would be a simple explanation of never wanting to be without it...although don't get me started on needed to switch off from work sometimes, that's a battle I won't ever win!