How much are you expected/do you do for your partner?

Hiddenidenity

We have only been together less than a month. Although we have been friends for a long time. Maybe Im just over sensitive becuase of my previous relationship

moneypuddle

Cooking tea - 50/50
DIY - 50/50
Cleaning - me
Ironing - me
Bathroom - me
Gardening - him
Dishwasher - him
Food shopping - together

Amanda65

OH and I have been married for 23 years, have 3 children (2 eldest at uni so away term time). We both work, him full time outside the home and me 30 hours per week from home and over the years have got a general division of labour that we are both happy with as follows:-

I tend to do cooking, meal planning and shopping, finance, school contact, heartbroken children and entertainment
He does bin, cars, garden, deals with animal vomit and dead animals / bits of animal bought in by the cats and anything that is generally unpleasant .

Childcare was essentially down to me (worked much less when the children were small) although he has always been a very hands on Dad. We both tend to clean / tidy, launder but to be fair I often lead this as he dones't seem to be as bothered by an unhoovered carpet or unwashed kitchen floor as much as me. It wasn't planned, neither of us 'expected' the other to do anything other than pull together for our family and get done what needed doing.

At the end of the day, I think what works for you, bearing in mind the dynamics of your family.

browneyedbazzi

At the moment we share chores around the house - I do most of the cooking and grocery shopping (partly because I'm a fussy eater and prefer eating things I have cooked and shopping because I have the car most days), he does most of the dishes, we share the laundry but he probably does more than me and we each iron our own things, I tend to do the floors and bathrooms.

I know that when we have kids he would like me to stay at home (at least for a time) and if/when that happens then I expect I'll take over doing more of the household stuff...not all of it though! He'll still live here and be expected to pitch in!

Why any adult needs someone else to put the plug in the bath and turn the tap on for them is beyond me!

Molly41

My hubby does it all now:(
Im very lucky as he very rarely moans but I feel incredibly guilty. We used to share the work load. We do have a cleaner who does 4 hours a week though and she is a God Send - dont know what I would do without her.

tanith

I'm not expected to do anything , but I do all the housework , cooking and gardening, but he works a long day and I'm home all day retired with medical issues .
He comes grocery shopping some weeks but otherwise I do that too.. I'm free to do what I want all day every day so I can pick and choose when and if I do stuff. It all gets done eventually and if he sees I'm struggling he'll help me but I think if you are home and your partner works a long week its a bit unfair but perfectly understandable to want them to help with the housework too...

and NO I wouldn't run his bath... but I do sometimes give him a cool bowl of water to soak his aching feet in when he comes home , poor old buggar...

Fosterdog

I do all of the cooking because OH is not very good at it and I enjoy it, he does all the dishes because I hate doing them. Everything else is split between us, I do more on my days off than working days and so does he.

If there are loads of dishes to be done and I'm not in work I'll do them for him and If I'm working late or on a really long shift he gets dinner started and I just finish off and dish up when I get home (I've taught him how to prepare four simple but nice meals for these occasions).

OH does most of the shopping because I don't drive but I make the lists and meal plans and go with him if we have time.

moneypuddle

Amanda65 wrote: »

He does bin, cars, garden, deals with animal vomit and dead animals / bits of animal bought in by the cats and anything that is generally unpleasant .

This made me laugh!:rotfl:

Hiddenidenity

I don't expect him to do anything, don't get me wrong. The children are "mine" not his, I don't expect him to do anything with them other than be polite when they are talking to him etc. I don't expect him to do anything around the house etc I don't mind (I enjoy) doing it all myself in my own little ways. I enjoy the cooking ironing etc. Its the arguments if its not "right" that bothers me, that its now expected. I've been having treatment and some days might not want to iron that days load of washing for example, but for him it has to be done then!

I'm a little bit upset (?not sure the right word) that he expects his tea done when he wants it, no matter what I'm doing at the time, He expects his bath run, ironing done a certain way just when hes ready. Also other things like he will tell me to do X this way and if it isn't its a major argument resulting in him storming off/shouting etc.

SavingPennies_2

Youve only been together a month and he expects you to run his bath run? I cant even understand the concept of expecting someone to run a bath, how much effort does it take to turn on a tap? Am I missing something?