Husband has made me feel like nothing..

DUTR

thistledome wrote: »

Sorry, but being "extremely lazy" is not a reason for keeping a bag of soiled Women's knickers and !!!!!! mags in one's garage. They are for masturbating with, regardless of who they belong to. He hasn't thrown them away because he wants them, not because he can't be bothered.

Aye but lets get one thing straight 99% of blokes masturbate at some point, the other 1% are liars, even in a good relationship blokes will find time to pleasure themselves. As others have mentioned the name calling is the main issue not the contents of the bag. :cool:

Gingham_R

ihatethesenowiamone wrote: »

I DO believe that they probably belong to the ex..... i can remember going to his room in parents house and seeing various minging stuff like that...

I hope you can really hear what people are telling you here.

Your husband has a fetish. I'm sure there was all sorts of stuff in his chaotic, filthy old room, but why gather this all together? Why isn't it mixed in with old pizza boxes and tinnies for example?

He uses them, with the !!!!!!, to masturbate. Maybe he wears it, or holds it or maybe he sniffs it - maybe he wraps it round his neck or face.

He has not gathered up a holdall full of his ex's underwear, thrown in some !!!!!! mags then kept them in a garage for years. That's utterly ridiculous. He has a fetish. That's all.

Either that's something you can understand, learn to accept and/or become part of or it's not. That probably depends on whether or not he can man up and tell you the truth.

How he's treating YOU though is very different. He is being unkind to you and that issue is far removed from how he gets off on his own, frankly. I think you would probably benefit from talking to a counsellor to work out what you want to do about it.

amyloofoo

ihatethesenowiamone wrote: »

I ashamed to admit it, but last night we had sex... and i thought he wanted it etc, though i was slightly worried that he was doing it as "make up for what i have done and thent things'll be fine" sex....... He has just said to me "you made me have sex last night".... he then said "when i said no, you talked me round" (neither true in my mind thats for sure!)

I feel pain at those words - and the worst part is, i never quite know if he is being hurtful and lashing out or just saying what he really honestly thinks

Whatever I think of the rest of what you said, this at least means it's time to spend some time alone so you can both evaluate if this relationship is really what you want and if you're both willing to spend the time and effort needed to fix it. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to hear this, or in all fairness, for him if he actually feels this way.

minnie123

What does he do for a living if he works in peoples houses he could easily steal a pair of knickers or tights out of the washing basket. They are not his ex's - did you check the date on the porno mags yet. If it was me I would take the bag into the garden and set it on fire just to see his reaction.

ihatethesenowiamone

Hi all - sorry, meant to answer the question about the date of the !!!!!! mags.... they are from between 2002-2006 so pretty ancient. Though i guess they could be old faves (*shudder*)

moneysaymoneydo

I would be inclined to put my 'psychology' hat on here and say not the ex's but they are his, he could be a crossdresser putting these on when you are out and watching the po&& blah blah blah you get the picture personally i would take the bag and burn it! as for him count your knickers in your drawer and wait for a pair to go missing!

dottydee854

So it looks like the dates corilate then?? Has the items been disposed of yet?? I hope you can talk things through Off to bed. x

moneysaymoneydo

i would poss leave a few in house say you are going to the shops wait until he has his 'gear' on and is watching his lovely dvds parding about the house burst in take photo - simples make a good facebook photo later on - sorry but he sounds like a dodger if he has a laptop i would defo be checking the history on it to see where his mind is at, gadzarooney!!!

Tropez

It could be a fetish he has for panties. He could actually be telling the truth. Admittedly, I've never found a holdall full of past lover's underwear but I have found some knickers and bras and the occasional pair of stockings in old bags and stuff that I have lying around that got mixed in with my things and were never retrieved by the ex. Even though I moved several years ago I still have a few boxes and bags of things that I haven't opened and gone through since I moved and so it is possible there's more in there.

As others say, I'd be more concerned about what he calls you during a row. He probably doesn't mean it but he's trying to hurt you... do you call him anything in return?

Valli

Think Marleyboy's answer, from a blokes POV is very useful here!