Wife does'nt drive

Idiophreak

anguk wrote: »

I'm another lucky one with a husband who would quite happily drive me the length and breadth of the country without complaining.

Bet that's what the OP's wife says

ash28

An interesting thread - I didn't learn to drive until I was about 30, when I was young I didn't need to drive - excellent public transport and no workplace parking anyway.

I got married quite young and had 3 children in rapid succession and there was no money for lessons and definitely no money for a second car. OH tried a couple of times to teach me to drive and each occasion ended with me getting out of the car and starting to walk home - patience personified he was not!

I did work part time when the children were young and OH worked shifts - one job I had was in a garage and that meant a start of 6 am - OH used to get up and we got the children up and he took me to work and picked me up at 3 pm on the 2 days a week I worked. There was never any moaning or complaining - we were a couple, a partnership - I needed a lift to work and we needed the extra income my job brought in. We worked around our transport issues together.

When I went shopping I walked there with the kids and he would come and pick us all up. We couldn't afford for him to actually come shopping with us - he is an impulsive shopper and we would get to the checkout and I would find all sorts of bits and pieces in the trolley he wanted that we couldn't really afford and didn't need. He's still the same.

When our finances allowed I did learn to drive and was able to have a car of my own. And OH was a real pain - he was very critical of my driving - I had been taught differently to him - the way the gears and brakes were used for a start - he was taught to gear down and use the brakes last - I was taught to use the brakes and then the gears. Happy days...it got to the stage where I refused to drive him anywhere - he soon stopped being critical.

Regarding automatic vs manual - we have both at home - mine is an automatic his is a manual and we each drive both cars. It's odd, when I've been driving the automatic for a while and then get into the manual - I think - this is real driving and then when I get into automatic I think - no - this is the life! Especially if I'm stuck in traffic.

I don't think anyone should be concerned about taking a test in an automatic - when I passed my test automatics were pretty thin on the ground but now there are plenty around. My current car just happened to be an automatic.

If I'm abroad I actually prefer an automatic - it means I'm not sticking my hand in the door pocket for the gear stick!

snowleopard61

ash28 wrote: »

When I went shopping I walked there with the kids and he would come and pick us all up.

We used to do this too (this is actually what I meant when I said my ex took us in the car for a fortnightly shop) ... except for the time he didn't; he forgot, and this was before the days of mobiles so I was stuck with a baby, a toddler, a double buggy and a fortnight's shopping. After using the payphone to ring everywhere I could think of that he might be, I finally got a taxi. I did forgive him ... eventually.:D

Something that doesn't seem to have been addressed much in this thread is that many couples can only afford one car anyway and it's in use by one partner all the time - this was the case with us - so for both partners to spend (a lot of) money on driving lessons can be a bit of a luxury.

Mojisola

snowleopard61 wrote: »

Something that doesn't seem to have been addressed much in this thread is that many couples can only afford one car anyway and it's in use by one partner all the time - this was the case with us - so for both partners to spend (a lot of) money on driving lessons can be a bit of a luxury.

1886 wrote: »

Work have also said that she would have use of a 'pool' car if she could drive.

Not a problem in this case.

POPPYOSCAR

I hate driving automatics.

I find them very boring, I like to change gear it makes driving more interesting for me.

Janepig

I was a reluctant learner. I first started learning just before I was 21, my parents paid for me to do an intensive course as I couldn't bear the thought of week after week of lessons. I sat my driving test after five days and failed on afew minor points, but I was just chuffed that I'd got to the point where I was able to drive the examiner around without my instructor being there and not kill anyone!

I then re-sat my test afew weeks later with some lessons inbetween and it was hell on earth. I was so nervous and again failed on something daft - I think the examiner could see I wasn't up to it so rather than me actually doing something terribly wrong. That's my take on it anyway.

I was so traumatised after the second failure that I gave up for a number of years, which didn't cause great difficulty, DH could drive and I was able to get a train to and from work quite cheaply and it was convenient. DH then arranged lessons for me without telling me, until the instructor turned up one Saturday morning. I was horrified but had no choice. Once I was confident enough I also went out with DH in our car and that was okay, he knows better than to wind me up .

The run up to the test was horrible though, it's the worst thing I've ever had to do in my life, my instructor's car had a dodgy handbrake and I was convinced I'd failed so for most of the way around I was rehearsing in my head how to tell everyone I'd failed but nope, I passed!! I've now been driving for about 15 years and I love it, and I'm so glad DH did what he did. I do most of the driving for the family now, I'll drive anywhere and everywhere, and I'd genuinely be lost without my car. However, if I ever had to re-sit my test I'd have to think long and hard because it was the worse experience of my life and I don't think I could put myself through it again.

Jx

PS: I think Glyn is one of those men who sees me reverse parking my big beast of a car and likes to stare because they think I can't do it, then looks quite surprised when I park it in one go. :cool::D

euronorris

I think the 'emergency situation' is a good motivator. Before I learned to drive, I was living at home with the folks. Late one summer evening, my Dad had an accident in the garden. He fell backwards onto a spade that he'd left stuck in the ground (he was busy tidying away all the tools, but hadn't got to that one yet). So, he both broke his elbow and cut it open pretty badly. There was blood everywhere, my Mum was in a right state, my Dad was in schock and my brother had already had a few drinks. Me? Didn't have a licence yet. I've never felt so helpless and useless in all my life. The only option I had was to get my brother to calm my Mum down enough to drive, whilst I administered first aid to my Dad, and got him into the back of the car for the drive to the hospital.

That was late August/early September of that year I think. I had passed my test, and bought a car before the end of December that year. I never wanted to be in that position again.

Admittedly, part of my debt is due to the cars and lessons (I remember refinancing a loan at the time). It's the only useful thing to come out of my debt, so I don't regret it for a second.

A good instructor is invaluable! Mine was great! Really, really great and I would recommend him to anyone who wants to learn to drive. He was understanding, and sympathetic about my worries and the things that scared me about driving, but at the same time, wouldn't let me avoid them (ie, I told him I didn't like driving into my road from the top end, as there were so many cars parked so closely together, it's tricky to navigate. After that, we ended each lesson with me driving into my road from the top end. After a few lessons doing that, it had become easy ). And I had no idea how to navigate roundabouts, when was safe to pull out etc, and he knew this so he provided me with some basic drawings and spent some time during one lesson to really explain it to me. After that, I was much more confident (took a while before I felt at ease with a roundabout).

ETA: I passed first time (I never got to the test stage during my first set of lessons at 18).

So if you're in the Bromley Borough area, and looking for an instructor, please feel free to ask.

Marisco

annie_d wrote: »

I have just read through all the pages and i have to say I am VERY surprised. "Unpaid taxi driver"??? etc etc.
Shouldn't husbands do all they can for their wives AND VICE VERSA???

Yes they should, so wouldn't it be nice if you learned to drive to give your husband a break?

GlynD

Janepig wrote: »

PS: I think Glyn is one of those men who sees me reverse parking my big beast of a car and likes to stare because they think I can't do it, then looks quite surprised when I park it in one go. :cool::D

You couldn't be more wrong. I'd pay no more interest to you than to any other driver, unless you were in difficulty then I would offer assistance - as I would to any other driver.

Never assume.:)

heartbreak_star

annie_d wrote: »

I have just read through all the pages and i have to say I am VERY surprised. "Unpaid taxi driver"??? etc etc.
Shouldn't husbands do all they can for their wives AND VICE VERSA???

Within reason, but this woman's taking the mick.

HBS x