Wife does'nt drive

heartbreak_star

I adore driving. I couldn't afford to learn for years, and am kicking myself that I didn't budget for it. In this day and age, there is no reason for someone to not at least take a few lessons.

The amount of times I've heard "I wish I'd passed earlier" is unreal. I say it myself, especially as my hobbies take me all over the country!

I'm no feminist - I champion equality - but I do think that both sexes sometimes adhere to the "husband drives" throwback. If I pick my OH up from work, he's the passenger. I saw my friend pick her OH up from the gym, and she moved so he could drive :O

I also reverse park better than most of the men I know, but my mum can't reverse park at all. Horses for courses!

HBS x

Gloomendoom

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I'm no feminist - I champion equality - but I do think that both sexes sometimes adhere to the "husband drives" throwback. If I pick my OH up from work, he's the passenger. I saw my friend pick her OH up from the gym, and she moved so he could drive :O

:huh: That is what my wife usually does if she picks me up in my car. There is no 'throwback' involved. She knows I like to drive it.

However, we mostly use her car and, 95% of the time, she drives it. In fact she does most of the driving, full stop.

krlyr

annie_d wrote: »

I have just read through all the pages and i have to say I am VERY surprised. "Unpaid taxi driver"??? etc etc.
Shouldn't husbands do all they can for their wives AND VICE VERSA???

True..so OP gives his wife lifts for years, picks her up from unessential visits to friends at awkward hours for him after potentially having already done 200 miles of driving for work, and cuts his sleep short so he can drive her to work.
AND VICE VERSA, OP's wife takes the steps towards being able to repay these favours by having lessons and getting a driving licence. She doesn't even have to worry about buying a car as she's been offered use of one for work, and she can get insured on his car and have the odd night of being the sober one at her friend's house so she can let OH have a rest and drive herself home. A wife, doing all she can for her husband, as he already does a lot for her.

Of course, this is assuming there's no legitimate reason she's not learning, which OP hasn't mentioned.

Ellejmorgan

Some people just don't like driving and don't want to...
I think you are being unreasonable, you married her without her driving licence and knew what you were getting...

I wonder if there is more to this, I wouldn't think twice about offering the person I loved a lift, I wouldn't even question it..

Hermia

annie_d wrote: »

I have just read through all the pages and i have to say I am VERY surprised. "Unpaid taxi driver"??? etc etc.
Shouldn't husbands do all they can for their wives AND VICE VERSA???

But, the OP's OH is expecting him to give her lifts at all times when he has been working for hours and that is not fair. People should of course help their partners, but there comes a point when that person is being overloaded.

I do kind of think learning to drive is something everyone needs to do even if they decide not to buy a car. I think the exception is if you live in an urban area where public transport is plentiful. I odn't particularly enjoy driving myself, but you get used to it. I have just seen too many people have problems because they couldn't drive. A colleague was widowed the year before last and the whole experience was made worse by the fact she was stranded. She lived in a remote cottage and her husband had driven her to work every day and taken her shopping. There was no way she could get to work via public transport or bike. She had to do an intensive driving course whilst grieving because the alternative was to resign from her job. I just couldn't understand why she would move to a remote cottage and not learn to drive. Did she think her husband (who was older than her) would live forever?

Marisco

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

Some people just don't like driving and don't want to...
I think you are being unreasonable, you married her without her driving licence and knew what you were getting...

I wonder if there is more to this, I wouldn't think twice about offering the person I loved a lift, I wouldn't even question it..

That's fair enough - but then they should realise that they shouldn't rely on other folk to do the driving for them! Like hermia said, if anything happened to the driver they'd be stuffed! I had an aunt, who never did anything financial, her husband did it all (as they did mostly donkeys years ago) When he died she never had a clue and got in a right old mess, didn't know what was being paid out, how, when, nowt!! Anyway, who wants to rely on someone else all the time??

sharnad

If she would be willing to drive an automatic and you cant afford two cars, cant you sell your manual car and by an automatic

annie_d

I meant "vice versa" as a mutual exchange of services. NOT that we should exactly the same things for each other

Person_one

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I'm no feminist - I champion equality

Then you are a feminist.

Marisco

annie_d wrote: »

I meant "vice versa" as a mutual exchange of services. NOT that we should exactly the same things for each other

Ah right, so you cook and clean and he drives, the DIY, car maintenance, and gardening Why not just learn to drive??