Wife does'nt drive

Gloomendoom

annie_d wrote: »

I have just read through all the pages and i have to say I am VERY surprised. "Unpaid taxi driver"??? etc etc.
Shouldn't husbands do all they can for their wives AND VICE VERSA???

The same thing went through my mind. Some people must have very different marriages to the ones that I am used to, including my own.

sunnyone

annie_d wrote: »

Only this morning I asked my husband if he minded taking me to work each morning and picking me up each evening. I can't drive and he can.
I said I was happy to get the bus if he ever fancied a lie-in or was watching something on the television. He said, "Don't be silly, i love you and would do anything for you" He has been doing this for over 10 years.
Yes, i do know how lucky I am. ( Or as he says, "Deserving")

But do does your hubbie work shifts?

When you both work at totally diffrent times of the day things are diffrent.

A lie in is very diffrent then sleeping a normal amount of time after and unsocilable shift.

Indout96

annie_d wrote: »

I have just read through all the pages and i have to say I am VERY surprised. "Unpaid taxi driver"??? etc etc.
Shouldn't husbands do all they can for their wives AND VICE VERSA???

There are at least 2 of us who think that way then :j my wife drives now but for the first 10 years of our marage she did not and we could not have afforded a second car anyway. We both worked shifts her nights and me days (she still does) I would never have dreamt of her walking / bus.

Mojisola

1886 wrote: »

I get hounded to either give her a lift to work in the morning if I`m on a late shift or pick her up from work if I`m on an early shift. Last night she went to see a friend 12 miles away, she got the train there from work but expected me to drive and pick her up afterwards, I refused and then was made to feel guilty 'I thought you would want me to get home safely'.

Usually if I`m on a late shift I don`t go to bed until midnight by the time I`ve got home, sometimes later. I usually get up at 7.30am and give her a lift to work, it`s not walkable, the bus takes about 30 minutes.

annie_d wrote: »

I have just read through all the pages and i have to say I am VERY surprised. "Unpaid taxi driver"??? etc etc.
Shouldn't husbands do all they can for their wives AND VICE VERSA???

Yes, they should be mutually supportive. I don't think "hounding" one partner to always provide a taxi for the other is doing that, especially when there's a bus available!

Indout96

I refused and then was made to feel guilty 'I thought you would want me to get home safely'

Maybe living in Bradford taints my thinking but there is no way I would expect my wife to travel home late at night on her own. It was 12 miles away not the other side of beyond.

claire16c

My OH didnt take his test until he was about 24 and it drove me mad when he couldnt drive before that - not because I had to do all the driving - because I dont mind that, but if we were out somewhere and I say,got a headache or felt ill etc, Id still have to drive back.
And then I started thinking what if we have kids - and visions of what if I get pregnant and go in labour - who is gonna drive me to the hospital - ME?!lol

So I said to him you do realise our entire lives will be limited because we will have to always live near a train station and/or your work? I dont think hed ever thought about it like that as hed always got by walking everywhere or me driving us about. But he never ever would have gone on at me for a lift, infact he sometimes turned me down and was totally happy to walk, get the train etc.

He was put off because a driving instructor told him at 17 he was a bad driver and should never drive. So it really knocked his confidence.

Anyway one day out of the blue, he rang up and booked some lessons with a really good instructor, and passed his theory and practical first time. He said that way he can drive me to a hospital or his work if needed! lol

He doesnt enjoy driving now, but when we went travelling I persuaded him to try doing it abroad, and he drove both a manual and automatic in New Zealand, and an auto on the 'wrong' side of the road in the US, which was a great confidence builder.

He still walks pretty much everywhere, rarely drives, and very rarely will ask for a lift if hes going out with his mates and so wants to drink, (and we only own one car). But at least he can drive now if needed to.

amyb_2

I'm 31 and don't drive.

I work shifts and have a mile walk and then a 45min train journey to work.

My partner drives an will if he's home (and awake and often i leave at four am and don't expect him to get up then) drive me to the station. He also collects me if i have a late finish. (23.30 ish)
I don't expect it and living walking distance to the station was in the criteria for where we live.

Twice in every five weeks he has to get up at 5am and driver me 1/2 hour to work as there are no trains at that time. I feel awkward about this but its one of those things.

Its hard to explain why i don't want to drive; partly scared but i just don't like the idea.

Also i have no travel costs so it would be bloody expensive to add and car and lessons and insurance and tax and everything else in to our budget.

anguk

annie_d wrote: »

Only this morning I asked my husband if he minded taking me to work each morning and picking me up each evening. I can't drive and he can.
I said I was happy to get the bus if he ever fancied a lie-in or was watching something on the television. He said, "Don't be silly, i love you and would do anything for you" He has been doing this for over 10 years.
Yes, i do know how lucky I am. ( Or as he says, "Deserving")

I'm another lucky one with a husband who would quite happily drive me the length and breadth of the country without complaining. I've never been able to drive and never taken a lesson (I did drive round an empty carpark once), I'm just too scared of the other drivers on the road. As a passenger you get to see all the bad driving and I think I'd be so nervous driving that I'd end up being a danger to myself and others. I've always said I would quite happily drive as long as all other cars were taken off the road.

Luckily my husband loves to drive and has no problem taking me wherever I need to go, I don't see him as an unpaid taxi driver and he doesn't see himself as one either. He has health problems and is disabled, I look after him and take care of him, he looks after me by driving me everywhere. We're a team and support each other, I do the things he can't, he does the things I can't, surely that's what a marriage is all about?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Surely the spouse's wages are paying for the car as much as the Op's wages? If you pay for something, I would have thought that you are entitled to get some benefit from it, such as the occasional lift.


I didn't pass ny test when younger, as I couldn't afford it.
I used public transport instead. I managed fine and don't take it as a sign of failure that I'm not spending thousands on car, tax, insurance, maintenance, petrol, parking and polluting the world that extra bit.

I can't drive Now - for medical reasons. I've heard all the insults listed on this thread, along with threats to leave me if I don't pass my test desPite not being legal to drive.

To be honest, the thing that put me off once and for all was the pressure of being ordered to pass it. It made each lesson an ordeal as I didn't want to be there in the first place. So much so, I was glad to have the medical condition in the end. And was even more glad when he left, too.

But the posters on this thread will look and assume I'm being lazy.

Mojisola

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Surely the spouse's wages are paying for the car as much as the Op's wages? If you pay for something, I would have thought that you are entitled to get some benefit from it, such as the occasional lift.

It sounds as if it's a lot more than occasional, though. If my OH had been on a late shift, I wouldn't get him out of bed early to give me a lift into work so I didn't have to take a bus.

I didn't pass ny test when younger, as I couldn't afford it.
I used public transport instead. I managed fine and don't take it as a sign of failure that I'm not spending thousands on car, tax, insurance, maintenance, petrol, parking and polluting the world that extra bit.

And so could the 1886's OH but she chooses to guilt trip the OP into giving her a lift.

I can't drive Now - for medical reasons. I've heard all the insults listed on this thread, along with threats to leave me if I don't pass my test desPite not being legal to drive.

To be honest, the thing that put me off once and for all was the pressure of being ordered to pass it. It made each lesson an ordeal as I didn't want to be there in the first place. So much so, I was glad to have the medical condition in the end. And was even more glad when he left, too.

But the posters on this thread will look and assume I'm being lazy.

I don't think anyone would say you're being lazy and, if the OP had said that his OH couldn't drive for health reasons or because she was a dreadful driver or because she just couldn't cope being in traffic, I wouldn't have said that she should still take driving lessons. The last thing that's needed is another bad or nervous driver on the road.

If there are genuine reasons why she can't drive, they need to work out how to live with one driver in the family - use public transport when possible, put aside money each month for taxis, agree when it's fair to expect 1886 to provide transport and when it isn't.