Wife does'nt drive

krlyr

heartbreak_star wrote: »

See I think this is OK as you're offering to do it - he's not demanding it or guilting you into it

Me and my OH do the same for each other.

HBS x

I think that's the key here. Regardless of gender, one person in this relationship is expecting the other to drive them everywhere, to the other person's detriment (causing lack of sleep, for example). No one should be forced or guilted to do something they don't want to do just because of social expectations or because it's "what the husband/wife does" - fortunately many of those expectations have been ditched in today's society!
Maybe it's the wife taking the mickey, maybe the OP just hasn't made it clear that they do want a few nights off, but I don't think OP is wrong to say no to some of his wife's demands for lifts/pick ups, regardless of how many other people would be happy to do it themselves.

moneypuddle

Mojisola wrote: »

As heartbreak says, while it suits both of you, that's fine. What's going to happen after baby arrives? Are you going to get you and baby out into the car at 6am to take him to the station?

No, he's not going to be working in the same location when the baby is born. However he will either be biking or walking to the new location instead. He wouldn't expect me to wake a sleeping baby to go and pick him up

moneypuddle

Oh and just to add I do it because I want to but in a way I suppose OH would expect me to as well. Our finances are pooled, so he pays for half the car, tax, petrol, insuarance etc, so would be annoyed if I didn't 'allow' him to benefit from the car as well by giving him lifts

Mojisola

moneypuddle wrote: »

No, he's not going to be working in the same location when the baby is born. However he will either be biking or walking to the new location instead. He wouldn't expect me to wake a sleeping baby to go and pick him up

As a couple, you've got things arranged that suit you now and are able to adapt as conditions change. What came over in the opening post was that one partner was expecting the other to be a taxi whether it suited him or not.

moneypuddle

Yes thanks I am aware of that. I'm responding to what YOU asked me

Steel_2

Hope you don't have family miles away that you have to get to late at night if your husband's not well.

If I did (and I don't and he isn't) there are ways of getting there that don't require a car.

And having been in a situation where I got to an emergency by train faster than someone who set out closer by car because they got stuck in a five mile tailback after a motorway accident, I think if there was an emergency I'd get wherever I had to go fine.

Having a car is not the be all and end all. Life doesn't just stop or is unlivable because God forbid you have to use what's on the end of your ankles for what they were intended or mingle with others on public transport.

In fact I think if there were less people with cars they'd be more people able to afford to pay off their debts quicker, instead of using and maintaining expensive tin cans because they perceive they wouldn't be free or independent if they didn't have it. I have people at work tell me I should have a little car so I can get to the shops. I get to the shops once a week, if that, using the bus that goes straight there in 20 minutes and stops at the end of my road. And I zoom past the cars stuck in the line of traffic going into town because there is a bus lane.

Right now the £300 or so I would use in petrol plus the life-time costs of having a car I'd pay every month to get to work, shopping etc etc, actually gets spent on improving our house, overpaying our mortgage and pensions, and generally enjoying our hobbies.

When the time comes, when the need outweighs the costs and arguments, then it will happen.

balletshoes

moneypuddle wrote: »

I drive, my OH (male) doesn't.

It doesn't really bother us. At the minute he is working far from home, so I get up at 6am to take his to the train statio, come back home for 630am and get back into bed for an hour, then drive myself to work. At the end of the working day I drive home from work at 5pm, then go back to the train station at 745pm to collect him. I wouldn't dream of sitting at home, and letting him walk home, expecially not in this heat.

If he goes out to his friends on a weekend, I'll usually drop him off, and he'll walk back later (maybe a mile tops) because I'll have normally gone to bed (I'm pregnant and need my sleep!).

ignore me, others had asked my question and you answered it.

heartbreak_star

Steel, I think me and thee are always going to disagree on this I hate curtailing my nights out to get the last bus, I hate how long the bus takes to get anywhere, and I have a hobby that I just couldn't logistically do if I didn't drive.

BUT I'm glad you have made provisions for emergencies and don't need a car in your life

HBS x

bargainbetty

I had to take the automatic test because of being on the waiting list for reconstructive new surgery (left knee) which meant I physically couldn't operate a clutch. Passed first time, and any day now I will go back and do the manual test. 18 years ago, but any day now, honest. I find it less distracting to not be shifting gears, and prefer to focus on the road.

Some people seem to think that there is something lesser about driving an auto, because you aren't controlling the gearbox yourself. It's never bothered me in the same way that knowing that the washing machine does the whole cycle on its own doesn't make me bad at doing laundry.

By the way, you can get just about any car in an automatic or hybrid version. I've driven Vauxhalls, Volvos, Minis, Fords. Chevrolets, Cadillacs, Mercedes, and Peugots, VWs and BMWs, all automatics. BMW convertibles are particularly fab.

GlynD

bargainbetty wrote: »

I had to take the automatic test because of being on the waiting list for reconstructive new surgery (left knee) which meant I physically couldn't operate a clutch. Passed first time, and any day now I will go back and do the manual test. 18 years ago, but any day now, honest. I find it less distracting to not be shifting gears, and prefer to focus on the road.

Some people seem to think that there is something lesser about driving an auto, because you aren't controlling the gearbox yourself. It's never bothered me in the same way that knowing that the washing machine does the whole cycle on its own doesn't make me bad at doing laundry.

By the way, you can get just about any car in an automatic or hybrid version. I've driven Vauxhalls, Volvos, Minis, Fords. Chevrolets, Cadillacs, Mercedes, and Peugots, VWs and BMWs, all automatics. BMW convertibles are particularly fab.

I totally agree with you. I mean put quite simply, a manual box is more difficult to learn so why bother when the automatic option is there. It's also less tiring in urban driving. What is this obsession people (especially guys) have with making the more difficult option the chosen one?