Do you think sex is important in a relationship?

Gingham_R

claire16c wrote: »

Maybe the model is one of those women though?

I dont think the problem with pictures of thin models are necessarily the size of them - the ones with a healthy weight I mean, its more about the photoshopping of any bit of flab they do have, stretchmarks, skin blemishes etc. Because then that really is changing what is real.
.

That is my biggest issue but it is also true that skinny (and that woman does not look like she has enough room for her internal organs in that photo) models are the norm with very few women who are larger than very, very thin are appearing in the media now, unless it's to comment on how 'fat' they've become or to talk about diets.

Gingham_R

zagfles wrote: »

They are clearly not "normal" (as in average size) but that says more about what the average size is. They don't look like concentration camp victims either.

We should get this into proportion - there are far more people who are dangerously overweight than dangerously underweight. Average size has gone up over recent decades. Walk down any busy high street and count the number of people who are obviously overweight and the number who are obviously underweight.

You have to look at why this is so. Eating disorders come in many forms.

Also, that woman's thigh appears to be the same width as her calf.

And, of course, is that how she swims? What is the purpose of having her in that position? It's not to demonstrate what the bikini looks like is it? Do we have men modelling clothing behaving as if they're in the middle of a languorous shag?

Gingham_R

I have only really seen bikini adverts in the bravissimo catalogue, so I had no idea just how skinny the models have become. Naturally, all the women are big breasted as that is the market they are providing clothing for, but otherwise there is a wider range of sizes in evidence, making a much healthier situation in my opinion.

http://www.bravissimo.com/products/s...show=16&sort=1

LillythePink

benb76 wrote: »

Back to the original question....

I love sex and so does my OH and it's a daily (or more) event. Without it we'd just be friends instead of in a relationship.

You are implying that your relationship is based on nothing else apart from sex?

That is quite a sad thing to contemplate - what if there's a health issue which means you can't have sex for a reasonable period ie a few months - you are then saying that your relationship will break down and you will be just friends (which I assume then means either party can go looking for it elsewhere)


Regarding the original topic - it shouldn't be the most important thing in a relationship, but it would be better if both parties were compatible and thought and wanted the same things.

Steel_2

Sex is not the be all and end all but it is important.

The way I see it, I consider it one of the many ties that bind a couple together. If you have enough other ties that are strong then you can get by without it by mutual consent and you should be ok.

If you don't have enough other ties and it is one of the only ties you have with each other, then it can damage your relationship apart if it stops.

j.e.j.

Ich wrote: »

Not at all.
For medical reasons I am now impotent, has it changed the relationship with my OH, not at all. If anything we are closer

It depends what's important to both people involved. For me I would say yes, sex and intimacy is important in a good relationship.

Years ago my then-BF had issues similar to what Ich has described, and as a result that part of my life was then denied me. I thought at the time that it shouldn't matter.. but it did.

It's brilliant that things have worked out for Ich, and it looks like the relationship was strong enough in other ways. But it's not the case for everyone.

zagfles

Gingham_R wrote: »

You have to look at why this is so. Eating disorders come in many forms.

It's fairly obvious why it's so, and except in the extreme cases it's nothing to do with eating disorders. Jobs and generally living are less physically demanding these days, many like mine just involve sitting in front of a keyboard and screen all day. Not only paid jobs but also housework etc with all the machines and gadgets we now have, compared with decades ago. Yet our eating habits haven't changed enough to compensate.

It's easy to focus on the negative side of the pressure we all get to attain the "perfect" physical form, but there is a positive side to it as well. Most people are overweight, not underweight, so pressure on them (from the media or elsewhere) to lose weight is a good thing for the majority.

I know someone with anorexia, but I also know someone with type 2 diabetes, someone else who can hardly walk because of knackered knee joints and someone who died in his early 40's from a heart attack. Being overweight was a very significant factor in all the latter 3.

Being overweight causes far more health problems overall than being underweight. If there wasn't the pressure from the media and society in general to become thinner, then we'd probably have 10 more diabetics, 10 more people dying young, and 10 more people with serious mobility problems in later life for every 1 less anorexic.

Also, that woman's thigh appears to be the same width as her calf.

And, of course, is that how she swims? What is the purpose of having her in that position? It's not to demonstrate what the bikini looks like is it? Do we have men modelling clothing behaving as if they're in the middle of a languorous shag?

That's not what I saw! I think that says more about your mind :rotfl:

Gloomendoom

j.e.j. wrote: »

It depends what's important to both people involved. For me I would say yes, sex and intimacy is important in a good relationship.

Years ago my then-BF had issues similar to what Ich has described, and as a result that part of my life was then denied me. I thought at the time that it shouldn't matter.. but it did.

It's brilliant that things have worked out for Ich, and it looks like the relationship was strong enough in other ways. But it's not the case for everyone.

Why shouldn't it matter? It is important enough to be included in the C of E wedding sevice.

The gift of marriage brings husband and wife together
in the delight and tenderness of sexual union
and joyful commitment to the end of their lives.

Off topic again...

Gingham_R wrote: »

And, of course, is that how she swims?

Are bikinis intended for swimming? I thought they were meant to maximise a suntan while staying within the bounds of common decency.

rachhh

I couldn't be in a sexless relationship. I need that spark, passion and intimacy to keep me interested. Of course there are other factors to the relationship... but without sex, to me it just becomes more like a best friendship.
As for !!!!!!, I'm all for it, I watch it alone, with a partner, whatever. I'm not insecure enough to be at all jealous of the women in it, I know I have a good body and it's obviously good enough for him if he's with me, so I have no reason to disapprove of my OH (when I have one) watching it.
As for the unrealistic expectations it generates... Whilst lovey dovey comfy sex is great, !!!!!!-style crazy adventurous sex is good too and helps keep us both interested and stops sex becoming boring and routine.

Oh and as for the skinny thing, neither I, nor any of my female friends really feel that pressure, it's a bit of a myth that the media has that much influence. I couldn't be happier as a size 12, and regularly get complimented on my curves. What I don't like though, is the whole 'real woman' thing that implies if you don't have curves and you're naturally a size 6, that you're not womanly enough.

Gingham_R

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Are bikinis intended for swimming? I thought they were meant to maximise a suntan while staying within the bounds of common decency.

Is that how she sunbathes?!

Rachh, I don't think there are many people who would disagree with you on the whole 'real woman' rubbish. It's just offensive. Simple. But we don't see real women in most magazines now. We see photoshopped versions of what were once real women.

Zagfles, if you can demonstrate that pressure from the media actually helps people lose weight I'd love to read it.