Do you think sex is important in a relationship?

Gingham_R

I couldn't put the sound on but this video looks like it might explain where I'm coming from.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUb5PZHcovA

And I had the misfortune of happening on this site yesterday (after the hilarious mistake on their advert went viral.) http://stores.suityourselfbikinisstore.com/-strse-collections-cln-2011-Bikinis/Categories.bok?xcat2=2011+Bikinis

DylanO

Gingham_R wrote: »

It's completely mandatory. I don't buy magazines. I don't watch tv. I don't buy newspapers. Do you think I'm not exposed to these images several times a day?

And my sons, who walk into the local newsagents for their comics, the eldest of whom is not far off eye level for the row of magazines with naked women in poses with other women or with their legs open. My friends' girls who are all already talking about being 'fat' and 'ugly' are exposed to these things all the time. They're on billboards and magazine covers and newspaper covers and advert after advert after advert on the internet and they are ALL not only very, very slim but have bodies that are elongated, shrunken, deblemished, with eyes and lips that are enlarged and brightened, legs that are the same width at the top as the bottom and are all either under an age where their skin starts to sag or wrinkle or their wrinkles and sags have been either air brushed away or cut or poisoned away by 'surgeons'.

We can't just 'not look'. It's endemic.

If it's as big a problem as you claim then why isn't everyone affected? Why doesn't everyone have an eating disorder?

The answer is because reality is a world apart from the picture you paint.

DylanO

Dunroamin wrote: »

No, "that poster " didn't.

I said, "There must be something very wrong with a person's life (or sex life) if soaps (or !!!!!!) are more entertaining than the real thing!"

You, in fact, said that they were!

Where did I write this?;)

Gingham_R

DylanO wrote: »

If it's as big a problem as you claim then why isn't everyone affected? Why doesn't everyone have an eating disorder?

The answer is because reality is a world apart from the picture you paint.

No. The answer is that not everyone is badly affected by it and not everyone who is badly affected by it develops an eating disorder - it may be poor self esteem or anxiety or depression or an inability to allow her partner to see her out of make-up or have sex without trying to hide her wobbly bits. And many others have a strong female role model who helps them challenge these things or simply have a well developed sense of self esteem.

It's also partly because women of my generation and older weren't exposed to the photoshopping element or the size 0 element. The women in magazines and adverts were pretty/beautiful but of various dress sizes and beautifully made up with perfect hair but they were all real women. Many of the problems this is causing are still only coming to light now.

Gingham_R

Actually, normally I'm not concerned about whether or not I influence anyone's thinking when I post on a thread. I'm interested in making my point and listening to others. On this occasion, I'd really, really love it if I could have made a small difference in helping at least one person see the situation that has developed in our media as it really is - and maybe have a sense of how destructive it can be.

Humphrey10

Gingham_R wrote: »

And I had the misfortune of happening on this site yesterday (after the hilarious mistake on their advert went viral.) http://stores.suityourselfbikinisstore.com/-strse-collections-cln-2011-Bikinis/Categories.bok?xcat2=2011+Bikinis

Read the 'About Us' section, lol.
Also, I really can't believe many people find those pictures attractive. The page 3 girls in the Sun and the women on the front cover of the Daily Sport (and the ones on the other pages I assume) are never as skinny as that, and presumably they are chosen for maximum attractiveness.

DylanO

Gingham_R wrote: »

No. The answer is that not everyone is badly affected by it and not everyone who is badly affected by it develops an eating disorder - it may be poor self esteem or anxiety or depression or an inability to allow her partner to see her out of make-up or have sex without trying to hide her wobbly bits. And many others have a strong female role model who helps them challenge these things or simply have a well developed sense of self esteem.

It's also partly because women of my generation and older weren't exposed to the photoshopping element or the size 0 element. The women in magazines and adverts were pretty/beautiful but of various dress sizes and beautifully made up with perfect hair but they were all real women. Many of the problems this is causing are still only coming to light now.

Ergo anyone who doesn't fit your view of beauty isn't a 'real woman'. Hypocritical much?

Gingham_R

Humphrey10 wrote: »

Read the 'About Us' section, lol.
Also, I really can't believe many people find those pictures attractive. The page 3 girls in the Sun and the women on the front cover of the Daily Sport (and the ones on the other pages I assume) are never as skinny as that, and presumably they are chosen for maximum attractiveness.

"Kathleen realizes how important it is to change the way women perceive their bodies. Women need to throw out any perfect images they have about a flawless body because images are impossible to live up to. One of the major inspirations for the creation of Suit Yourself Bikinis is Kathleen's belief that, "Every woman needs to love her own body, and every woman should own a bathing suit that makes her look and feel sexy, beautiful, confident, and sophisticated." It's empowering for women to remember that every body is unique" Oh good lord. I'm lost for words for once.

Re Page 3 - there's a different look in play there. Very skinny women don't usually have large breasts (since breast size depends on how much fat is deposited on them, rather than how much mammary tissue there is.)

Page 3 is one of the worst offenders - simply because it makes leering at women's bodies not only acceptable but expected - as if it is as 'necessary' as checking the football scores.

Gingham_R

DylanO wrote: »

Ergo anyone who doesn't fit your view of beauty isn't a 'real woman'. Hypocritical much?

NO! You're completely missing my point. Real women not a photoshopped replica of what was once a real woman.

My view of beauty is that everyone is beautiful and that we all have different things that attract us to others. My view of beauty is that it cannot be manufactured - it is real and flawed.

You've gone to the exact opposite of what I've been saying all along and I've got to wonder why?! What was it you thought I meant when I said 'real women' and whom was I excluding?

Humphrey10

DylanO wrote: »

Ergo anyone who doesn't fit your view of beauty isn't a 'real woman'. Hypocritical much?

I don't think that's what Gingham R meant, I think what was meant that they literally were not real, they were fiction, due to the photoshopping the picture does not show what they look like in real life.

Gingham_R wrote: »

Re Page 3 - there's a different look in play there.

I know but presumably they are aiming at mass market, what is most attractive to most people. So presumably more people like to look at T&A than like to look at sticking out bony bits. So why advertise stuff with boney women? Seriously I've never understood it.