Do you think sex is important in a relationship?

globalds

what do they say :

It is 10% of a good marriage .... and 90% of a bad marriage ..

Jei70

I agree that it depends on a relationship and the people in it.

Sex is very important to me, and I'm very happy to have found a fabulous man whose libido matches mine. We've been living together over 7 years, and still have a vigorous and experimental sex life, founded on open and honest communication.

Similarly, two people for whom sex is not important can have a very happy relationship if they bond over something that *is* important to both of them. Problems often arise when people's sex drives are mismatched - i.e. one wants it much more than the other. If they can't find a compromise that's satisfactory for both parties, the relationship is likely to disintegrate amid mutual recriminations and resentment.

The same with !!!!!! - both (or all, if we're including poly relationships) parties need to communicate their wishes and limits regarding pornography. Is just watching OK, but not masturbating? Is it only allowed if done together? Or during alone time, when the other party's at work? Or is any visual imagery considered cheating? These are the issues couples should agree on, otherwise one (or both, or all) may end up unhappily surprised!

System

Whether or not sex is important in a relationship depends on how high their individual sex drive is. Personally i think i'd self combust if i never had sex again but thats just me.

!!!!!!? Well yes it bothers me. If i cant turn my man on i dont want any other woman to. I'm pretty selfish in that respect.

Person_one

Better_Off_1983 wrote: »

Sorry, I meant not sexually compatible or in tune with each other. For example if one party is 'in the mood' and at the same time the other person is not.

It still doesn't really make any sense.

Anybody who says sex isn't all that important in their relationship has actually just grown accustomed to not being 'in the mood' at the same time?

Person_one

tiff wrote: »

!!!!!! doesnt bother me, we usually look at it together. I dont understand why people are offended by !!!!!! but each to their own.

What actually bothers me about !!!!!! is not the basic fact of watching sexually explicit material, its the fact that most of it bears about as much resemblance to real sex between normal couples as 2001: A Space Odyssey does to what life was actually like in 2001.

I find much of it shockingly misogynistic, I think it contributes to young men having some very odd ideas about women and sex before they really start experiencing it themselves, and even the supposedly female friendly !!!!!! is usually so laughable as to be a complete turn off.

Humphrey10

Better_Off_1983 wrote: »

What sort of things in everyday life do you find affects a person's libido or love life? I think lack of money, employment, children, health worries, anxiety and stress.

Some people just aren't that interested in sex. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them or that they are poor or unemployed or have too many children or are ill or anxious or stressed.

Emmzi wrote: »

what is important is that everyone in the relationship have a similar or compatible attitude to sex.

Exactly.

DylanO

Person_one wrote: »

What actually bothers me about !!!!!! is not the basic fact of watching sexually explicit material, its the fact that most of it bears about as much resemblance to real sex between normal couples as 2001: A Space Odyssey does to what life was actually like in 2001.

I find much of it shockingly misogynistic, I think it contributes to young men having some very odd ideas about women and sex before they really start experiencing it themselves, and even the supposedly female friendly !!!!!! is usually so laughable as to be a complete turn off.

!!!!!! is to sex what soaps are to life - it's not meant to be realistic, dreary and mundane. It is entertainment after all.

Gingham_R

Person_one wrote: »

I find much of it shockingly misogynistic, I think it contributes to young men having some very odd ideas about women and sex before they really start experiencing it themselves, and even the supposedly female friendly !!!!!! is usually so laughable as to be a complete turn off.

Another issue is the coercion, forcing and abuse of girls who end up in this trade.

Reminds me of a video I saw recently of women in windows in the red light district of Amsterdam.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-a8dAHDQoo

Do watch it to the end if you're of the opinion that the girls all like it.

Gingham_R

DylanO wrote: »

!!!!!! is to sex what soaps are to life - it's not meant to be realistic, dreary and mundane. It is entertainment after all.

True, though young boys are learning a lot through this medium now and it's not doing their sex lives much good.

I'd add though that pornography is doing less harm to young women (with the exception of the ones forced or tricked into it) than photoshopping is, but that's another issue.

Dunroamin

DylanO wrote: »

!!!!!! is to sex what soaps are to life - it's not meant to be realistic, dreary and mundane. It is entertainment after all.

There must be something very wrong with a person's life (or sex life) if soaps (or !!!!!!) are more entertaining than the real thing!