Angry..do you see this as ok?

balletshoes

fedupandstuff wrote: »

I know he would not cheat on me with her as some have suggested.

if you really believe this, you're kidding yourself.

balletshoes

fedupandstuff wrote: »

If my daughter had posted this.... or if his daughter had posted this i know both of our reactions would be the same

I'm telling you his wouldn't - theres no way on this earth any Dad would be happy hearing that their daughter's partner had been texting another woman with details of their stiffies! No chance no way no how - because your partner would know its because the partner either fancies the recipient of the text, or is already sleeping with her.

*Louise*

balletshoes wrote: »

Originally Posted by fedupandstuff

I know he would not cheat on me with her as some have suggested.

if you really believe this, you're kidding yourself.

I'm sorry OP but I have to agree with Balletshoes.

If this is what he texts to someone he would 'never' cheat with, then I dread to think what he is texting to any other women....

I skipped a couple of pages in the middle - I will go back and read - but have you actually asked him to open up his emails and let you see them if he has nothing to hide? (I imagine stuff on his phone would be deleted by now) His reaction to that question would tell you everything you needed to know.

rokchic

I agree with Louise, I would be asking to see all emails and texts and if he gets angry or defensive ...... ( considering what you have already seen ) .... that to me would be all the answers I need xx

Gingham_R

MeganKate wrote: »

I would personally much prefer to know what my man was doing than for them to go behind my back (which, believe me, they will)

I don't know if you realise how sexist your post is. It is not odd to expect fidelity in a relationship. In our culture it is the expected norm. The expectations of 'fidelity' vary widely from people being uncomfortable with their partners having close friends of the opposite sex to people having open relationships with defined boundaries within that freedom.

Pornography is a hotly debated issue and I won't go down this route too much, but the issues around whether girls are manipulated, coerced and forced into the sex industry are very real, as are the issues around some women (and men) being uncomfortable about their partners having orgasms while looking at other people in a state of undress or sexual activity. It can be seen as 'extra marital' to some and to others it is seen as simply a method of release without thinking of the real people in the pictures/videos.

So to accuse a woman of being controlling around this issue and to threaten her that her partner will cheat on her because she doesn't want him to use pornography is both insulting to the woman you're addressing and insulting to men whom you seem to think cannot control themselves, which is an outdated phallocentric notion that I thought had gone out with the idea that women don't really like it and put up with it to get jewelry.

Gra76

OP - your BF is laughing nervously and trying to snatch his phone away because he knows he's been doing something that will make you mad.

Whether he's actually done anything other than text this other woman is another matter altogether.

You can ask him to see all the texts and his emails all you like. I guarantee you that if he had any sense he would have deleted them all the second you looked the other way. If he hasn't then he probably is after he reads this...

I wouldn't dare send a text like that to someone other than my missus. Come to think about it I'm not 100% sure I'd dare send it to her either...

JimmyTheWig

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I'd also challenge him to explain to me how it can possibly be 'the norm' if his first instinct is to hide what he is doing?

Maybe he does think that _this_ text is the norm, but he's got others on there that even he thinks overstep the mark?


OP, he is cheating on you (emotionally, if not physically) and trying to belittle (bullying, maybe) you into thinking it is ok.

The only question is, do you want to be with a manipulative, lying, cheating scumbag.
It's not actually up to us to tell you to leave him. We're not the ones who would have to come home to a cold bed. We're not the ones who would, maybe, struggle without his wage coming in. We're not the ones who would potentially be cut off from seeing his children. We're not the ones who love him.
He's not going to change. He's admitted himself that he doesn't think he's done anything wrong.
You need to make the choice as to whether you want to be with someone like that or not.

Lotus-eater

Gingham_R wrote: »

which is an outdated phallocentric notion that I thought had gone out with the idea that women don't really like it and put up with it to get jewelry.

WHAT!!

%$*$£**............ I've spent a flipping fortune on jewellery over the years


Btw I also use !!!!!! without any worries what it will do to my/our relationship, the 2 are probably linked on some subliminal level.

Lotus-eater

Gra76 wrote: »

I wouldn't dare send a text like that to someone other than my missus. Come to think about it I'm not 100% sure I'd dare send it to her either...

I'd probably get one back saying "Good for you, don't forget to pick up the kids later"
:rotfl:

eleanor73

Gingham_R wrote: »

I don't know if you realise how sexist your post is. It is not odd to expect fidelity in a relationship. In our culture it is the expected norm. The expectations of 'fidelity' vary widely from people being uncomfortable with their partners having close friends of the opposite sex to people having open relationships with defined boundaries within that freedom.

Pornography is a hotly debated issue and I won't go down this route too much, but the issues around whether girls are manipulated, coerced and forced into the sex industry are very real, as are the issues around some women (and men) being uncomfortable about their partners having orgasms while looking at other people in a state of undress or sexual activity. It can be seen as 'extra marital' to some and to others it is seen as simply a method of release without thinking of the real people in the pictures/videos.

So to accuse a woman of being controlling around this issue and to threaten her that her partner will cheat on her because she doesn't want him to use pornography is both insulting to the woman you're addressing and insulting to men whom you seem to think cannot control themselves, which is an outdated phallocentric notion that I thought had gone out with the idea that women don't really like it and put up with it to get jewelry.

you put that so well. I was thinking the same thing and up until reading your thread I was wondering how to articulate it. Now I don't have to.

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I'd probably get one back saying "Good for you, don't forget to pick up the kids later"
:rotfl:

This just made me laugh out loud!! Brilliant.