Angry..do you see this as ok?

JustinCredibleGillespie

Meow! Put those claw's away!

Paddys Mum has a more valid point MK. She has given an in depth response/answer to your first post and I have to say I agree with her 100%.

JCG

xx

MeganKate

JustinCredibleGillespie wrote: »

Meow! Put those claw's away!

Paddys Mum has a more valid point MK. She has given an in depth response/answer to your first post and I have to say I agree with her 100%.

JCG

xx

Great I am glad you agree with her. Pity that she wasnt actually responding to my post, she was just 'responding' I didnt say anything like a woman should be servcing her man to keep him, I said that if a woman was controlling the behaviour of her man (as in not allowing him to watch !!!!!!) then was she making up for that elsewhere?

determined_new_ms

MeganKate wrote: »

Great I am glad you agree with her. Pity that she wasnt actually responding to my post, she was just 'responding' I didnt say anything like a woman should be servcing her man to keep him, I said that if a woman was controlling the behaviour of her man (as in not allowing him to watch !!!!!!) then was she making up for that elsewhere?

clearly we have seen this is an emotive subject with strong feelings whichever side of the fence you sit on. Sadly where strong feelings are often debates around the issues become defensive & below the belt blows get thrown (front both sides)

Paddy's mum's point of view is one opinion which alot of men and women have and yours is different it doesn't mean either of those positions are wrong. so we should agree to fight fair I think

However when my partner and I decided what "exclusive" meant to "us" that was not controlling & it saddens me that is what you (and others) have interpreted that as. We agreed I woudn't sleep with other men - does that make him controlling? Can he (or I for that matter) not master bate without !!!!!!? Do you (and I mean in the generic not "you") think the only 2 positions are either you "allow" your man to watch !!!!!! or he will turn to other women for comfort? What about when one of you feels in the mood and the other doesn't? How do you negotiate that? Surely there's some degree of compromise? Sometimes I have sex even though I wasn't fully revved beforehand, sometimes he does, sometimes we do it on our own and sometimes we say no not tonight how about in the morning? Sometimes we just say NO!!!!

Lotus-eater

It's all a compromise isn't it?
If you have a man who wants to, or thinks he wants to use !!!!!! and you don't allow him to, then yes there is a case for you being controlling, but that's my view.

But it's all on a massive sliding scale, we could argue about this all day, as long as we all understand that some people need a higher level of sex than others and they are not treated like children when it comes to the realities of that, then it should be OK.

!!!!!! can be in there, or masturbation, or one person giving more than the other, but it is a situation that needs to be dealt with. As long as it is dealt with in a way which is OK to both of you, then surely that's ok?

As Megankate says, if a person doesn't get sex, then you ban them from doing anything to relieve the pressure, then you ridicule them for having a sex drive....... that's not only controlling, but relationship destroying.

MeganKate

determined_new_ms wrote: »

However when my partner and I decided what "exclusive" meant to "us" that was not controlling & it saddens me that is what you (and others) have interpreted that as. We agreed I woudn't sleep with other men - does that make him controlling? Can he (or I for that matter) not master bate without !!!!!!? Do you (and I mean in the generic not "you") think the only 2 positions are either you "allow" your man to watch !!!!!! or he will turn to other women for comfort? What about when one of you feels in the mood and the other doesn't? How do you negotiate that? Surely there's some degree of compromise? Sometimes I have sex even though I wasn't fully revved beforehand, sometimes he does, sometimes we do it on our own and sometimes we say no not tonight how about in the morning? Sometimes we just say NO!!!!

Of course someone can masturbate without !!!!!!, but what if they WANT to masturbate using !!!!!!?

And I meant that he would use !!!!!! behind your back if you didnt 'allow' it, not that he would necessarily go to another woman, but either are a possibility.

A few years ago I would have wholeheartedy agreed with everything you say, because that was the bubble I lived in, in those days. However many years and experiences down the line I now see things VERY differently. I am sorry if the things I say are not what you want to hear, but that doesnt make them any less true.

Lotus-eater

MeganKate wrote: »

Of course someone can masturbate without !!!!!!, but what if they WANT to masturbate using !!!!!!?

I suppose this really means, how many men want to use !!!!!!? I would hazard a rather large percentage of the population, it's amazing how many who say they don't, get caught doing something naughty. Tut, tut :rotfl:

MeganKate

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I suppose this really means, how many men want to use !!!!!!? I would hazard a rather large percentage of the population, it's amazing how many who say they don't, get caught doing something naughty. Tut, tut :rotfl:

Why does it need to be such a taboo?? what is wrong with using !!!!!!??

They probably say they dont because of the crap they get from their partners!

It doesnt bother me that a partner uses !!!!!!, as I said I watch it too, you can learn some quite good tips! the people on the screen arent real and it doesnt mean that you want to actually have sex with them!

Gingham_R

MeganKate wrote: »

Why does it need to be such a taboo?? what is wrong with using !!!!!!??

They probably say they dont because of the crap they get from their partners!

It doesnt bother me that a partner uses !!!!!!, as I said I watch it too, you can learn some quite good tips! the people on the screen arent real and it doesnt mean that you want to actually have sex with them!

What's wrong? To some people absolutely nothing, whether together or apart. To others it's about being part of an industry that many young women and girls are manipulated or forced into To others it's a form of infidelity.

But don't think the people on the screen aren't real. Of course they are. They're not acting. They're having sex. Real sex which may or may not be something that the girl wants to do and may or may not be in a way that the girl wants to have and may or may not be with someone the girl is comfortable with.

MeganKate

Gingham_R wrote: »

What's wrong? To some people absolutely nothing, whether together or apart. To others it's about being part of an industry that many young women and girls are manipulated or forced into To others it's a form of infidelity.

But don't think the people on the screen aren't real. Of course they are. They're not acting. They're having sex. Real sex which may or may not be something that the girl wants to do and may or may not be in a way that the girl wants to have and may or may not be with someone the girl is comfortable with.

You can tell whether they want to be there or not, but that is actually completely irrelevant and a different issue altogether

BugglyB

I think a bit of realism is needed, in that I think a lot of men or women, when asked not to watch !!!!!! by their partner (or when it is 'mutually decided' that they won't :rotfl:)will say that they dont, and then do it anyway.