It hurts when I breathe.....even after 9 months

disputedoctor

Hi Marshmallow,

At the moment, right now you need to look after yourself. You need to give yourself a chance for the wounds to heal. I would try and get as much support as you can. You have every right to feel angry and in pain. Be compassionate with yourself. Eat well. Do some physical exercise. Get some sleep. Do some stuff to nurture yourself, like lots of pampering baths or fun with the kids. Take fish oils and vitamin B. Use your support network and friends as a shoulder to cry on. The pain will pass and it will get easier. Counselling may well help. Separation and divorce in the way that you have experienced it is traumatic. Just allow yourself to grieve: it's normal, painful though it is. It will get better in time. Relaxation techniques may be good for you at the moment, to help you deal with the pain - try yoga or mindfulness training, for example.

Sambucus_Nigra

Mashmallow wrote: »

Oh well......no much wonder he left and sees me as he does. In a few posts, some people have spotted that I am minipulative and controlling. I don't want to be that person but I know I am.

I really hate myself. I'm not going to post again. It's not helping I'm sorry.

Marshmallow - we don't know you and we can only respond to your posts. Would you rather have everyone saying how mean he is, how right you are and spend the next 10 years like this? Or tell you how it looks to us? In the hope that you can do something about it?

I really think you need some form of therapy otherwise you are never going to be able to let go and move on with your life.

jetplane

Mashmallow wrote: »

Oh well......no much wonder he left and sees me as he does. In a few posts, some people have spotted that I am minipulative and controlling. I don't want to be that person but I know I am.

I really hate myself. I'm not going to post again. It's not helping I'm sorry.

Im sorry too because this forum can be of great help to people who want / need it.

However your post is an example of what I mean by manipulation. If you don't get your own way, in this case the answers that you want then its poor ole you. I've no doubt that you have low self esteem but you have had empathy, support and good honest advice on here.

Don't beat yourself up because you've texted him, don't stop thanking posts because you feel miserable. If you don't want to be the person that you are then seek help and good luck.

Crisp_£_note

Mashmallow wrote: »

...........

Sorry I cant try and help or offer any advice as the original post has been deleted !

Best wishes

Boots888

Mashmallow wrote: »

...........

Oh gosh, got a bit of your thread the other day before you deleted it... Opening up is very brave and needed but I understand you felt too exposed.

I've been heart broken before. I recently spoke to a friend going through a very bitter divorce (after 20 years together and 2 kids). I heard myself telling her that she'd get to the point of feeling completely indifferent to him. It took me 4 years more or less, no more. I thought I'd die of heartache and wouldn't survive without him.

All the hurt and anger will subside - you'll be a different person 4 years from now so hang on in there.

I know it's not what you want to hear but it is part of your life's rich pattern.