My husband has committed Adultery

Yorkie1

OP, some good advice on here.

Don't destroy or damage his property. Yes, you could get into trouble for it and you really don't need that hassle.

As others have said, bag it up and let him know he has x weeks (not days) to collect it. From comments on other boards, I think you have to retain it technically for perhaps 3 months or so before you can dispose of it.

poker21

Gavin83 wrote: »

How long have you been married? Did you buy the house together or did one of you own it before you married?

Hi Gavin

I bought the house 22 years ago on my own.
My husband and I got married in 2004 and I felt sorry for him with him telling me all his hard luck stories from previous relationships so in 2006 I transferred the house into both our names although I have always been the one that paid the mortgage. I have had it so long that the mortgage is tiny.
I also transferred my redundancy money into his name in 2007.
....and I know what you're all thinking that I have brought this onto myself and that I'm a fool for doing this. Well there you go I'm gonna pay for trying to do a good thing

poker21

Yorkie1 wrote: »

OP, some good advice on here.

Don't destroy or damage his property. Yes, you could get into trouble for it and you really don't need that hassle.

As others have said, bag it up and let him know he has x weeks (not days) to collect it. From comments on other boards, I think you have to retain it technically for perhaps 3 months or so before you can dispose of it.

I gave him until bank holiday weekend to collect his stuff, it's all bagged up sitting in the hallway.
He didn't pick his stuff up and my daughter said then maybe I should have followed through with the threat I made about taking it down to charity if he didn't collect it. It's expensive stuff and a lot of it new so would hurt me to just get rid of it like that.

HappyMJ

poker21 wrote: »

Hi Gavin

I bought the house 22 years ago on my own.
My husband and I got married in 2004 and I felt sorry for him with him telling me all his hard luck stories from previous relationships so in 2006 I transferred the house into both our names although I have always been the one that paid the mortgage. I have had it so long that the mortgage is tiny.
I also transferred my redundancy money into his name in 2007.
....and I know what you're all thinking that I have brought this onto myself and that I'm a fool for doing this. Well there you go I'm gonna pay for trying to do a good thing

You have an almost 100% chance of keeping this house. You will most probably have to buy his share out but that will only be small by the sounds of it.

poker21

HappyMJ wrote: »

You have an almost 100% chance of keeping this house. You will most probably have to buy his share out but that will only be small by the sounds of it.

oh, I so hope you're right.
I'm out of work at the moment but I've worked all my adult life and for my kids not for someone to come along and swipe it all away.
He agreed last week to transfer it back to me but now maybe she's convinced him otherwise. Why else is he avoiding me

poker21

Mr Milkman, if you're still there, talk to me, help me to understand.
please, you don't know me therefore you can afford to be as honest as you like.
I really don't understand why.
I cooked, ironed, cleaned did everything. I even ironed his socks and underpants.
We had no problem in the bedroom.
So why????????

BitterAndTwisted

Why else is he avoiding you? Deep shame, I hope.

You never know, this all coming to light and him moving in with his bint on the side may not suit her. He was probably more fun when he was encumbered and now she's got him round her neck and in her home, maybe for good. He might be looking to rent a place of his own ere long. I do hope so.

About his expensive things: it's my understanding that when a couple are married all assets are joint-assets. You put them up on ebay and get some money coming in for yourself. You gave him fair warning and he didn't collect them. Sod him and sod his stuff!

BitterAndTwisted

poker21 wrote: »

Mr Milkman, if you're still there, talk to me, help me to understand.
please, you don't know me therefore you can afford to be as honest as you like.
I really don't understand why.
I cooked, ironed, cleaned did everything. I even ironed his socks and underpants.
We had no problem in the bedroom.
So why????????

He didn't need any reason to make him betray you. He just wanted to and didn't care about any potential damage it would cause. Maybe he enjoyed a frisson of excitement leading some kind of double life. Well, let him enjoy this particular frisson now.

poker21

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Why else is he avoiding you? Deep shame, I hope.

You never know, this all coming to light and him moving in with his bint on the side may not suit her. He was probably more fun when he was encumbered and now she's got him round her neck and in her home, maybe for good. He might be looking to rent a place of his own ere long. I do hope so.

About his expensive things: it's my understanding that when a couple are married all assets are joint-assets. You put them up on ebay and get some money coming in for yourself. You gave him fair warning and he didn't collect them. Sod him and sod his stuff!

you would think when people look to have affairs that they upgrade, but he down graded

We live in a 3 bed terraced house in London, not massive but spacious.
He's moved into her one bedroom flat she shares with 2 cats.
Apparently she doesn't cook or clean and is very dirty.
I got all this from her 2 ex boyfriends who have recently added me to their facebook

alwayspuzzled

You'll probably never get an understandble answer to why. I left the father of 2 of my children in January and in the last couple of weeks have discovered that the woman I thought was his ex never actually was his ex. Yes that makes me the other woman and doesn't that make me feel sick. "Why?" I asked him, 71/2 years and 2 babies, "I don't know" he says. Personally I think its because he could and I was stupid enough to believe in him. Now hes on suicide watch because he can't deal with the many many lies being discovered now me and other woman in contact and I keep telling myself that we're better off without him. I thought we had something special, now I believe men (OK some people not just men lol) can compartmentalize (sp??) to an such extent its unbelieveable.

Stay strong.