My husband has committed Adultery

poker21

HappyMJ wrote: »

You have a child together....you hold all the cards...You can stay in this house until your children leave school. Sorting who pays the mortgage is difficult as if he does not pay it it will eventually be repossessed by the mortgage lender but it will destroy his credit rating and he loses all equity he has accrued in it as well.

We don't have any children together, both my kids are from a previous marriage

BitterAndTwisted

What a filthy swine! Three and a half years of duplicity. That must hurt so very, very much.

Rest assured that in the wee small hours of the night the other woman who he's been betaying you with will have a tiny little niggle that he will treat her in precisely the same underhand and distasteful way that he's been treating you for so long.

Him not returning your calls and emails is the behaviour of a rotten coward with a guilty conscience.

Do absolutely nothing for the moment apart from sorting out benefits and looking for a job tout suite.

If it makes you feel better, I recommend that you stand in the garden and set fire to his clothes. Every last stitch of them. And then send all his mail back "no longer at this address". When you've done those sell every last thing of his that's in the house, most especially things of sentimental value.

poker21

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

What a filthy swine! Three and a half years of duplicity. That must hurt so very, very much.

Rest assured that in the wee small hours of the night the other woman who he's been betaying you with will have a tiny little niggle that he will treat her in precisely the same underhand and distasteful way that he's been treating you for so long.

Him not returning your calls and emails is the behaviour of a rotten coward with a guilty conscience.

Do absolutely nothing for the moment apart from sorting out benefits and looking for a job tout suite.

If it makes you feel better, I recommend that you stand in the garden and set fire to his clothes. Every last stitch of them. And then send all his mail back "no longer at this address". When you've done those sell every last thing of his that's in the house, most especially things of sentimental value.

I wanted to take his clothes down to the charity shop but then thought I might get into trouble for it as they are his belongings.
I would like to sell all his new stuff on ebay, could I get in trouble for this?

Four_leaf_clover_2

poker21 wrote: »

on Sunday we had a row because he had been exchanging kisses with 'K' he went to the pub and didn't come home so on Thursday I found out that he might be staying at 'K's, I waited outside her flat and saw them both come back arm in arm and so I confronted them and he shouted and swore at me and she said I have been telling him to tell you and told me all.

So maybe he's not feeling guilty but relieved that's it's all in the open now and wanted out anyway

So you caught him out having an affair and he was the one shouting and swearing at you. That is awful hun.

Dont rush into anything. Take your time to decide exactly what you wish the outcome from all this to be. Contact a solicitor and gain all the advice you can. Also speaking to cab may be helpful re the financial side of things.

I am so sorry you are facing all this heartache and upset. Dont feel dirty hun, all you have done is love and trust someone only for it all to be thrown in your face.

babymoo

The_Milkman wrote: »

A woman scorned lol.......

I am 5 years into an affair myself, my wife has no idea and I live in fear of her finding out but cant stop seeing the other woman, I am addicted to her.
What I am saying is dont judge your husband we are just weak and the little head does rule the big head.

Good luck on this forum, you're going to need it. If that is true you're scum, the OP's husband is scum and both the OP and your wife wud be better off without the men in their lives.

OP, the guilt is probably because he's been caught, not that he feels bad. Hugs and take it 1 day at a time

vax2002

It wont let me post one word answers but here is one ; bast$rd !

RedBern

The_Milkman wrote: »

A woman scorned lol.......

I am 5 years into an affair myself, my wife has no idea and I live in fear of her finding out but cant stop seeing the other woman, I am addicted to her.
What I am saying is dont judge your husband we are just weak and the little head does rule the big head.

flippin' heck - a five year affair! There are marriages that last less than that - are you sure you're not a bigamist? (is that the correct spelling of 'pillock'? )

**Patty**

Self-Preservation.

1. Get another bank account he DOESN'T have the details to.

2. Get down to the local benefits office tomorrow. Sort out Income Support for yourself & enquire about them paying interest on your mortgage (they used to but i don't know its name)

3. Ring tax credits. Start the ball rolling with your claim as a single person.

4. Find a local solicitor (Family Law Practitioner) & get a free 30 minute consultation. Talk over your options & make a liost of questions before you go to maximise your time.

5. He isn't answering your calls so don't ring him. (easier said than done i know). Stop waiting for him to tell you what he is going to do.......You do it. Let him deal with the consequences.

6. Bag his stuff up & shove it in the spare room. Send him a letter (recorded) telling him he has X amount of days to shift it or you will dispose of it.

Gavin83

How long have you been married? Did you buy the house together or did one of you own it before you married?

mynameistallulah

**Patty** wrote: »

2. Get down to the local benefits office tomorrow. Sort out Income Support for yourself & enquire about them paying interest on your mortgage (they used to but i don't know its name)

From what the OP has said, her children are older, and as such she will need to claim JSA rather than IS.