My husband has committed Adultery

poker21

Can anyone help with advice.
I found out just over a week ago that my husband has been having an affair with a work mate for 3 1/2 years.

I caught them arm in arm last Thursday and his mistress confessed all to me.

If I put in for divorce will I lose my house?
what to do?
What does Divorce cost as I can't get legal aid even though I'm not working

Any help or advice would be great

hazyjo

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Are you sure your marriage is over? Do not make any rash decisions. Not all marriages are doomed to fail after one has committed adultery.

Are there children involved?

What's the financial situation regarding the house?

Do you both work?

How long have you been married?

The initial cost to divorce is, I think, £340. That's if it's done via forms (can be found online) and posted/delivered to court. You might not need a solicitor if it's just you and him and joint assets.

It makes no difference to the divorce if it's as a result of adultery. You'll still be entitled to the same.

You could choose for your husband to pay the divorce costs. There's an option on the forms, I believe.

Hugs,

Jx

HeatherintheHills

It might be an idea to book a free initial consultation with a local solicitor first. There are so many variables it is going to be very difficult for anyone to give you solid advice on here.

But we can send you hugs, (((poker21))).

Caroline_a

I think you need to talk this over with your husband first. What she says may be different to what he says, ie he might say sorry, it won't happen again, etc. However you may be of a mind that once is too many times, so in that case I would have a look around https://www.wikivorce.com and make an appointment to see a solicitor who specialises in divorce/family cases.

HappyMJ

poker21 wrote: »

Can anyone help with advice.
I found out just over a week ago that my husband has been having an affair with a work mate for 3 1/2 years.

I caught them arm in arm last Thursday and his mistress confessed all to me.

If I put in for divorce will I lose my house?
what to do?
What does Divorce cost as I can't get legal aid even though I'm not working

Any help or advice would be great

You really should seperate first for a period of time and then see if divorce is the correct solution. There are too many variables based on what the both of you want the final outcome to be.

Getting a divorce will release him to remarry. You don't have to let him get a divorce straight away if you don't wish to remarry yourself.

spadoosh

poker21 wrote: »

I found out just over a week ago that my husband has been having an affair with a work mate for 3 1/2 years.

hazyjo wrote: »

Are you sure your marriage is over?

Dunno about the OP but im pretty sure its over! Its not just one mistake is it?!

Sorry to hear about your situation OP, can never be nice catching them. Good luck and hope you come out stronger!

(sorry cant offer much advice)

poker21

hazyjo wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Are you sure your marriage is over? Do not make any rash decisions. Not all marriages are doomed to fail after one has committed adultery.

Are there children involved?

What's the financial situation regarding the house?

Do you both work?

How long have you been married?

The initial cost to divorce is, I think, £340. That's if it's done via forms (can be found online) and posted/delivered to court. You might not need a solicitor if it's just you and him and joint assets.

It makes no difference to the divorce if it's as a result of adultery. You'll still be entitled to the same.

You could choose for your husband to pay the divorce costs. There's an option on the forms, I believe.

Hugs,

Jx

Thank you J
I really don't know how I could live with him again after he's been with another woman.
I still love him so much but also hate him for what he's putting us through.
I'm not the one who had an affair yet I feel so dirty, I've been showering 3 sometimes 4 times a day.

I have 2 children from a previous marriage who have known and looked up to him as a father figure for 11 years.
We're all so distraught

I don't work but he does

poker21

HeatherintheHills wrote: »

It might be an idea to book a free initial consultation with a local solicitor first. There are so many variables it is going to be very difficult for anyone to give you solid advice on here.

But we can send you hugs, (((poker21))).

thank you
I have just got off the phone to a solicitor they charge £198.00 per hour

Thanks for the hugs, wish the pain would go away

poker21

Caroline_a wrote: »

I think you need to talk this over with your husband first. What she says may be different to what he says, ie he might say sorry, it won't happen again, etc. However you may be of a mind that once is too many times, so in that case I would have a look around https://www.wikivorce.com and make an appointment to see a solicitor who specialises in divorce/family cases.

I have tried to talk to him he doesn't take my calls nor reply to emails or texts.

I still have so many more questions to ask.

I really hope he hadn't brought her back to my house in my bed.

From what I've heard he's feeling really guilty

poker21

HappyMJ wrote: »

You really should seperate first for a period of time and then see if divorce is the correct solution. There are too many variables based on what the both of you want the final outcome to be.

Getting a divorce will release him to remarry. You don't have to let him get a divorce straight away if you don't wish to remarry yourself.

I think separation may be a better option for me at the moment until I find a job and why should I give him permission/chance to re-marry.

I don't ever want to get into a relation ever again it's just too painful

fluffnutter

poker21 wrote: »

I have tried to talk to him he doesn't take my calls nor reply to emails or texts.

I still have so many more questions to ask.

I really hope he hadn't brought her back to my house in my bed.

From what I've heard he's feeling really guilty

Is it not at home then? Has he moved out?

TBH, it doesn't sound great. If he's been found out but wants the marriage to work, I doubt he'd be ignoring you! He'd be following you around begging for forgiveness.

Sorry, I just can't get my head round how he's daring to avoid you. Makes me really angry on your behalf.