Finding geeky/nerdy girls for dating...

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sallypalma wrote: »

If it is any consolation, try being a 40 something female who is a SciFi geek, a Trekkie, adores ancient history and mythology, is a vocal atheist, has 2 giant old smelly hounds that are the love of my life and keeps pet rats ! I know it is a wonder I am still single :rotfl:

You sound a lot like me lol! Though substitute Trekkie with The Crow, and a love for Alexander the Great:) I also have 2 smelly ferrets and 5 african land snails:)

I am a complete and utter geek just waiting to find another geek who understands my need to collect the same comic 4 times just to get the variant covers....

OP, you sound like a lovely guy and I hope you find your special someone. If we lived near each other I'd be talking to you as a friend if nothing else as we have similar interests! (Though I am so not good with tech stuff!)

good luck with the clubs and dating sites; you've inspired me, and made me realise how I need to get out there and meet people too!

pollyanna24

Where do you live? I'm a geek!

bedpotato_2

Hello. I just wanted to say that perhaps you might find the geeky girl of your dreams if you frequent forums for autistic people, such as wrongplanet.net. There are all sorts of degrees of autism and those who only have a mild case of it are often rather "geeky" in the way you seem to crave.

'Hope this helps.

Edit: I just wanted to add that it sounds like you might have a bit of a close-minded idea of what you want your ideal match to be like. Having hobbies in common is not actually a necessary requirement for forming a relationship.
I think you are making the mistake of thinking that interests are more important than personality. In my opinion that is wrong. Personality does not change. Interests can easily change. You do not have to do everything together (that would be unhealthy and suffocating) so it's perfectly OK if you have different hobbies and interests. I think specifying that you want someone who is a geek is rather a superficial specification, to be honest. It depends what you mean by it. Do you mean you want somebody who is very intelligent? If so, why? Do you look down on people who can't hold an intellectual conversation? Or do you simply want somebody who will know what you are talking about and not be bored to tears when you are rambling on about your own passions and interests? If so, that's fair enough - but I think you are mistaken to make that your main criteria. Even if you got into a relationship with somebody who knew nothing about the things that interest you, she may be sufficiently devoted and interested to research them so she could listen to you and learn about them with time, so not currently being a "geek" is not a reason to write somebody off, as everybody has the potential to learn about the things their loved one is interested in.

Why don't you try thinking about the character traits you would like to find in a woman, and summarise those instead? (leaving out the word "geeky.") Would you like her to be shy or outgoing? Passionate or meek? Stubborn or easily influenced? Sociable or reclusive? etc, etc. It is things like that that will reveal whether you are truly compatible with somebody. Even if you found your ideal geek who was able to converse with you on all things geeky, you might be dismayed to find out that being geeky wasn't really enough, and you had failed to specify certain other things.

What if they are a chain smoker but you hate cigarettes? What if they want to go out all night clubbing, but you want to stay in on the sofa? What if they are a spendaholic, but you're a Moneysaving Expert? etc. etc. Think about what you really want, and try writing it down on your dating profiles without so much emphasis on the "geek."

heartbreak_star

LannieDuck wrote: »

There are plenty of LARP events in Southern England - that's where I used to do them. We used to LARP in the old forts down on the South coast. I'm a little out of touch with events nowadays, but a quick google for 'LARP southampton' (for example) gives loads of hits.

It's good fun, and in some groups you get a good number of women doing it too (although it does vary by group).

LARP is amazing, I think I suggested it on the other thread...or maybe this one...I forget! I do some of the massive event games (PD and CP) rather than locals, but they're all brilliant!

Loads of women go to the fest events

HBS x

OptimusNemesis

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Where do you live? I'm a geek!

I'm in the South of England - Hants & Berks area. :-)

- G

OptimusNemesis

bedpotato wrote: »

Hello. I just wanted to say that perhaps you might find the geeky girl of your dreams if you frequent forums for autistic people, such as wrongplanet.net. There are all sorts of degrees of autism and those who only have a mild case of it are often rather "geeky" in the way you seem to crave.

'Hope this helps.

Edit: I just wanted to add that it sounds like you might have a bit of a close-minded idea of what you want your ideal match to be like. Having hobbies in common is not actually a necessary requirement for forming a relationship.
I think you are making the mistake of thinking that interests are more important than personality. In my opinion that is wrong. Personality does not change. Interests can easily change. You do not have to do everything together (that would be unhealthy and suffocating) so it's perfectly OK if you have different hobbies and interests. I think specifying that you want someone who is a geek is rather a superficial specification, to be honest. It depends what you mean by it. Do you mean you want somebody who is very intelligent? If so, why? Do you look down on people who can't hold an intellectual conversation? Or do you simply want somebody who will know what you are talking about and not be bored to tears when you are rambling on about your own passions and interests? If so, that's fair enough - but I think you are mistaken to make that your main criteria. Even if you got into a relationship with somebody who knew nothing about the things that interest you, she may be sufficiently devoted and interested to research them so she could listen to you and learn about them with time, so not currently being a "geek" is not a reason to write somebody off, as everybody has the potential to learn about the things their loved one is interested in.

Why don't you try thinking about the character traits you would like to find in a woman, and summarise those instead? (leaving out the word "geeky.") Would you like her to be shy or outgoing? Passionate or meek? Stubborn or easily influenced? Sociable or reclusive? etc, etc. It is things like that that will reveal whether you are truly compatible with somebody. Even if you found your ideal geek who was able to converse with you on all things geeky, you might be dismayed to find out that being geeky wasn't really enough, and you had failed to specify certain other things.

What if they are a chain smoker but you hate cigarettes? What if they want to go out all night clubbing, but you want to stay in on the sofa? What if they are a spendaholic, but you're a Moneysaving Expert? etc. etc. Think about what you really want, and try writing it down on your dating profiles without so much emphasis on the "geek."

Thanks for your suggestions - I'll add the site you mentioned to the list of sites I currently have to check out! :-)

I understand what you mean and I think I may have given a slightly wrong impression in that a lot of people feel I'm only interested in a geeky woman. I'm quite open-minded about who I could meet but I've found that I've gotten along better with women that are at least a bit geeky or nerdy in the past. I know some people see those terms as derogatory but to me they mean someone who has a keen interest in something or a passion for learning. Most non-geek ladies I've met tend to turn their nose up at things that I like and dismiss them as boring or childish.

I'd be only to happy to meet someone who didn't consider themselves either geeky or nerdy but who showed an interest in me and the things that interest me - but I've yet to meet someone like that.

I like having long conversations so I think that is more likely to happen with someone I have something in common with. Not saying that I wouldn't enjoy a long conversation with someone who didn't, but again - I've yet to meet someone like that.

I don't look down on anyone and I certainly hope that nobody has ever looked at me and thought something silly like I'm out of their league (I had a conversation with someone about this earlier today) - I hate that expression anyway. I'd be more than happy to talk to and get to know anybody that was interested in speaking to me. Obviously that's not the same as saying I'd go out with anybody - there has to be a connection there for me although the things I find attractive in a woman are not the same as a lot of guys.

I don't really have a specific look in mind. I'm not biased towards any particular body type, height, hair colour, race or anything like that. The stuff you said about personality is actually a lot closer to what I'm trying to get across (I think you articulated it better than I can). I really want someone I can connect with because they are kind, friendly and can engage in conversation. Someone who seems to genuinely interested in what I say - just as much as I am in what they're saying. A bit of a silly sense of humour, perhaps a little bit naughty - not easily offended, so I don't feel like I have to be super careful of what I say.

And someone with an interest - not necessarily the same as me although any similarities would be a bonus. I met someone a while back who had studied Geology at University. I talked to her for quite a while and found chatting to her really interesting. I wouldn't list Geology as an interest of mine but I actually found myself learning things from talking to her - which I really enjoyed. It was lovely chatting to someone who had a passion about something and who had no problems with chatting to me about it. It's just a shame that after we met she turned crazy and tried playing silly mind games with me by ignoring me on and off until I asked her that was all about (at which point she went absolutely monster raving looney on me and said she'd 'punish' me by deleting her profile from the dating site and never speaking to me ever again - er... right! lol). But somebody like that but without the weird mind games would be very nice.

Anyway, this is in danger of becoming an essay! I hope what I've said makes sense though.

- G

aileth

Me and my husband met each other on Match.com. Now happily married, computers side by side in the spare room.

euronorris

OptimusNemesis wrote: »

Thanks for the suggestions - I've never seen Supernatural although I don't mind taking a look at it. Not sure if they're showing it from season one anywhere on TV at the moment though. Will it matter if I start watching from a later season or is it all structured so you have to watch it from episode one?

The New Scientist dating site sounds interesting - I'll have a look on there shortly! :-)

- G

I'm slightly obssessed with Supernatural! lol I would recommend watching from Season 1 as so much has happened to the main characters over the seasons, that if you jumped straight into Season 7 (currently airing on Living TV I think), you wouldn't 'get' all of it. Plus, the first 4 seasons are the best, IMO.

You can download them all though. Season 8 starts airing in the US in October I believe. My OH watches it with me (well, OK, not the repeated viewings! :rotfl:) and he quite likes it. They are pretty good at adding a little comedy in most episodes, and there's usually a couple of hot chicks in there too.

The stars at the conventions are always lovely, and surprisingly funny during the stage talks too.

But, how about The Big Bang Theory? They are doing a con for that, for the first time, in April next year. Info here: http://www.rogueevent.co.uk/wordpress/?page_id=2870#

euronorris

Edwardia wrote: »

Is there anything like ComicCon in the UK ?

Yes, there are actually several comiccon events in the UK each year:

http://www.londonexpo.com/
http://www.comicconventions.co.uk/

Though I hear that the San Francisco one is still the best. I WILL go there one day!

OptimusNemesis

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

I have a colleague at work who has just parted from her boyfriend who is the queen of geek chic!

Her boyfriend is the queen of geek chic? Did that have anything to do with them splitting up? ;-) Sorry - couldn't resist! Does she just dress geeky or is she geeky in personality also? I've come across a few people who like to present themselves as geeky - I think its become quite fashionable in some places!

1940sGal wrote: »

My sister's addicted to Supernatural. From what i've seen it probably would be best starting from the beginning. She hates it when i watch a bit and start asking a load of questions

Ok thanks - I'll see if I can find the first season.

aileth wrote: »

Me and my husband met each other on Match.com. Now happily married, computers side by side in the spare room.

For gaming? That sounds like a lot of fun! :-)

Ok - well, if anybody that reads this would like someone to accompany them to a Supernatural or any kind of sci-fi or fantasy related con sometime (as friends - can be male or female) then I'd be interested in doing that. Particularly if you're a Supernatural fan as I obviously need educating on that one! :-)

- G