Would you be angry?

looby75

I think it depends on how close the mum and her friend are.

My best mate has known my daughter since she was 3 and is godmother to my son, if dd had asked her to go to the docs with her to get the pill I wouldn't have minded in the slightest and would be happy that dd had another woman she feels comfortable to talk to that kind of thing about.

If it were any other friend though I wouldn't be happy and would see it as stepping over a line.

londonsurrey

I would be cross that the friend did not inform the mother of the girl, but I don't think she actually overstepped the mark.

In the ideal scenario, she would have phoned the girl's mother.
Mother would have freaked helplessly while waiting for the outcome of the visit to the doctor.

The medicine that was prescribed was not within the control of the the friend.

At the end of the visit, the daughter would have obtained her medicine, and the mother would have been informed.

The only difference is that the mother did not get to live through the incident vicariously, and the friend did wrong in not informing her asap.

The friend was actually diligent in carrying out her duties in the most important aspect, i.e. seeing to the health and wellbeing of the child, but remiss in her reporting duties.

System

I would rather come home and look after my own child if she was that ill than have someone else take her to the doctors (unless it was an emergency and i dont class heavy periods an emergency).

Bangton

The friend's mother surely wouldn't have known they were going to prescribe the pill for the heavy periods. Why flame her for something the doctor felt was the right thing to do?

Would you also be mad then if the mother had taken the daughter to the docs and merely been given pain relief..or would you view her as responsible for checking the health and wellbeing of a young girl with awful periods

VfM4meplse

londonsurrey wrote: »

Mother would have freaked helplessly while waiting for the outcome of the visit to the doctor.

Would she? She will know exactly what the daughter's symptoms are, if she hadn't "freaked" sufficiently to take her to the GP herself, why would she now?! It is just heavy and painful blood loss as part of a mentrual cycle that we are talking about.

londonsurrey wrote: »

The medicine that was prescribed was not within the control of the the friend.

The days of GPs dishing out pills like smarties, without thorough discussion of the risks and benefits beforehand are over. Either the girl went in alone and said who knows what to the GP, or the OP's friend took responsibility for something that wasn't her decision to make.

pinkladyof66

I would under no circumstances want someone else taking my daughter to the docs with heavy periods and being put on the pill !!!! Alot of girls have heavy ones they dont all go on the pill and surely this could have waited for 1 day. My neice who is now 17 is unable to be prescribed the pill due to family fault genes and breast cancer. So my sister cannot allow her to go on it. What if this was the case in this girl and the doctor had prescribed it not knowing the full facts. I cant believe that the periods were so heavy that the girl couldnt have just taken to her bed with a hot water bottle and waited til the mother returned.

londonsurrey

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Would she? She will know exactly what the daughter's symptoms are, if she hadn't "freaked" sufficiently to take her to the GP herself, why would she now?! It is just heavy and painful blood loss as part of a mentrual cycle that we are talking about.
The days of GPs dishing out pills like smarties, without thorough discussion of the risks and benefits beforehand are over. Either the girl went in alone and said who knows what to the GP, or the OP's friend took responsibility for something that wasn't her decision to make.

If the mother is making a scene about this, I suspect that she'd be the freaking type. The friend made a decision, albeit one that the mother seems to disagree with, but it is a reversible one.

If anything, the friend was very diligent. I would rather she was extra careful, and took her to the doctor, rather than making a decision that it was "just" a period, given that she doesn't know everything about the girl, and maybe denied her medical care and for something to happen, in which case it would be "All she had to do was take her to the doctor, for free. Why didn't she?"

The girl can come off the pill. She wasn't given a hysterectomy.

septemberblues

I would be absolutely furious, you don't just take another person's child to the doctor to get the pill prescribed! Seriously, that is overstepping the mark - it has nothing to do with the friend's family, she wasn't at death's door (as in - you would have called an ambulance). That would have been the end of any friendship/relationship with the other woman :mad: In fact, I would probably go round and have a go at this woman - and I'm the scarediest person on the block!

lostinrates

fashionlover10 wrote: »

I would be angry if I was the girls mum although I can understand how DD must be feeling. It's not really a decision that should be taken lightly as it does come with some health risks, hence GPs monitoring blood pressure before giving out a new prescription, and DDs mum definitely should have been consulted even if just to provide some support for DD.

I was put on the pill at the same age (and didn't sleep around once I started taking it either) due to my heavy periods after much pushing from my mum as I was too reluctant/scared. 3 years later I was diagnosed with PCOS and I couldn't imagine not being on the pill now because it's so effective at dealing with the heaviness and pain.

I also have pcos, and showing just how variable women are, i thnk going on the pill was the worst thing i ever did for my health (whoch is saying something!). I was ill at the time, having always used other contraception, and my pcos was diagnosed and i was put on the pill. My breasts balloned, i got bad skin when that had never been a symptom for me, and my sex drive disappeared totally.

The pill is GREAT if it suits you, if it doesn't its not, but most gps i have seen assume it will suit you, i would want to discuss all of this with a daughter before she made the choice. I would be happy for her to choose it, but i would want her to know she could choose not to if it didn't suit, and also, how t identify what was normal changes in her at that time of life and what could be the pill.

To be clear, i am pro the Pill, a great invention.

VfM4meplse

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

I cant believe that the periods were so heavy that the girl couldnt have just taken to her bed with a hot water bottle and waited til the mother returned.

I can - but that is just a reflection of parenting in the 21st century I suppose :whistle:.

Common sense seems to be an increasingly diminishing commodity these days....