Would you be angry?

patchwork_cat

A friend of mine went away for a long weekend in this country and her DD 14 went on a sleepover to a friend.

Her DD has painful and heavy periods, and she came on on the monday. Her friends mum kept her off school and took her to the Dr. the Dr. put her on the pill.

Now while I am aware that the DD could have gone to the Dr's on her own and could have gone to the FPA and got the pill, bearing in mind that mum was back on tuesday and was in this country did friend's mum over step the mark in not 'phoning the mum or waiting for a day?

I would be very cross, friend feels guilty.

peachyprice

My gut reaction is yes, she over stepped the mark, you don't take someone elses child's health into your own hands unless it's an absolute emergency, while very heavy periods are not at all nice, they most certainly not an emergency.

However, has the girl already asked her mum for help which has not been forthcoming? If her mum won't take her to the doctor and won't let her take the Pill, I can see how this friend may have been persuaded by a desperately unhappy girl.

Evenso, I think she should have contacted the mother first.

snozberry

It depends on which viewpoint you take. Is friend cross because she took her daughter to the doctor or because the doctor prescribed the pill? Would friend have been happier if the daughter had been prescribed pain relief bearing in mind (from experience) not all pain meds relieve painful periods?

quietheart

Totally bonkers. Don't know who this woman thinks she is but she had no right. Especially when mum was contactable.
Control-freakery.
And to add, i think putting a 14 yr old on the pill for period pain is a big decision. I kinow it's rare but I know a girl that age who was in the same position and had a stroke shortly afterwards. And if girl was happy enough to talk to another mum I guess she'd talk to her own mum? I really think the mum's input was necessary in this case.

thorsoak

The friend's mother took the iniative here - the girl started a heavy painful period, so doctor took her to the doctor's - the girl's own doctor?

In my experience, girls are often prescribed the contraceptive pill to help them overcome painful, heavy periods - not merely as contraceptives, and this, I would imagine, is what has happened here. OK - friend's mum should have phoned mum - if she had the phone no - but, being in loco parentis, she acted upon the girl's distress and pain and took her to the doctor's, and she's actually lucky that she got an appointment that day! What the doctor prescribed has nothing to do with friend's mum.

I wouldn't feel cross, but I would have mixed feelings about the pill, I think - and would have to talk through the implications of taking it with DD, were I mum. As for mum feeling guilty? When teenage girls start their periods they can be a bit irratic, so if mum didn't expect DD to start over the weekend, she has nothing to feel guilty about.

74jax

Did the mum take the child and ask the doc to put her on the pill, or did the mum take the child to the doctor's, the child talk to the doctor and the doc decide the pill was the way to go?

meritaten

my first thought on reading this was that the girl had probably asked her friends mum to do this as her mum wouldnt. but, as we are not in possession of the facts shouldnt really speculate.

I just hope that this eases the childs pain.
I can understand the parent is rather annoyed the friends mum took her child to the doctor - but, if her DD is suffering so much why didnt her mum take her herself?

Bangton

Nope I wouldn't be angry. If the doctor felt the pill was the best solution the issues lies there...not with the friend's mum who merely took the daughter to the doctor.

My friend had the same issue at 14 and was put on the pill...she didn't sleep around just because she was on the pill .. don't know if that's the issue here but would assume any anger is because it's a contraceptive

VfM4meplse

thorsoak wrote: »

In my experience, girls are often prescribed the contraceptive pill to help them overcome painful, heavy periods - not merely as contraceptives, and this, I would imagine, is what has happened here.

That is beside the point. We're talking about something that the girl has experienced before, and is not, as peachyprice rightly says, a medical emergency etc.

If I were the girl's mother I would be hopping mad. I wonder why the GP would have prescribed this knowing that the adult present was not the girl's mother, when they could so easily have prescribed an analgesic and asked her to book an appointment in 2 weeks time with her mother. Hormonal preparations are not initiated w/o good reason, and you would expect the parent to give consent.

The situation changes completely however if the daughter insisted that she was going to have unprotected sex and was deemed Fraser competent. Who knows what actually went on in that consultation room?

lostinrates

I would be concerned. Not because i have objection to a teen being on the pill for pain full periods, but because hormonal intervention did not suit me, my sister, my mother, and now i understand, my eldest niece. This is the sort of thing women in families hopefully talk about and know, so that where their young women sit on the likely hood to suffer side effects might be more clearly defined and the child and her family can keep an eye out for these things.

I would also feel the other mother had overstepped the mark, not taking the child to the doctor and arranging pain relief, but the nature of the pain relief. There is a big difference from a daughter going to the doctor with a parent or family member or off own initiative for the pill, another to go with a 'trendy mother'. Trendy moms dishing out sex and drugs advice can cause a lot of dischord in families where left to their own devices the chances are the family would rise to the challenge.

fashionlover10

I would be angry if I was the girls mum although I can understand how DD must be feeling. It's not really a decision that should be taken lightly as it does come with some health risks, hence GPs monitoring blood pressure before giving out a new prescription, and DDs mum definitely should have been consulted even if just to provide some support for DD.

I was put on the pill at the same age (and didn't sleep around once I started taking it either) due to my heavy periods after much pushing from my mum as I was too reluctant/scared. 3 years later I was diagnosed with PCOS and I couldn't imagine not being on the pill now because it's so effective at dealing with the heaviness and pain.