I've no-one to talk to....

jwil

Weeze210 with regards to the thrush - has your OH been treated as well? He could be giving it back to you hence the recurring problems. That was something that was made clear to me when I was treated before.

weeze210

jwil wrote: »

Weeze210 with regards to the thrush - has your OH been treated as well? He could be giving it back to you hence the recurring problems. That was something that was made clear to me when I was treated before.

He's been treated several times aswell but my problem started about a few years before I even met him.
Been to school and still don't have any answers.
His teacher was concerned that he is just disinterested in everything and not himself. "He's not the lad we started with" the teacher said. There is no eye contact, one word answers or shrugs shoulders, he doesn't want to do any after school activities which he loved in the begining. So the teacher is going to have a quiet word with him and see if he'll open up or even write some things down. He's doing this on tuesday and is going to phone me after. He's mentioned that the school does have a councilor which might be a next step but we'll see what happens on tuesday.
I've decided to go outside and wash the car. Something to do (although it does need it anyway) plus the puppy can come out and might leave me alone for a min. Also fresh air will do me good. Not even going to put it off and have a cuppa first. x

Jet

Oh you poor lady, I'm not surprised you're stressed!

Your OH needs to sort out that bathroom, it is so very unfair on you and your son. :mad: Please don't let him fob you off, you have given up everything to be with him on his terms, you deserve the respect of him sorting out the bathroom - don't settle for second best.

Sounds like you've taken an emotional battering from men over the years and I think this explains why you feel so powerless now, but you're not, you're very capable, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise!

As for your son, it is great you are getting help and talking to the school but also remember that it might not just be down to the move that he is apathetic like this, hormones could be playing a great part as well. Lot's of boys his age just grunt and play X box, sometimes it takes a little bit more effort to get a bit of conversation going and if you're feeling depressed and low, it's hard to do isn't it?

I think the most important thing is to try and build your own self esteem first because your son will learn from you. Start being firm with your OH, try to find interests and people to meet, even if it's only little tiny steps at first and keep posting on boards like this, because virtual contact with the outside world is better than none at all.

Justicia

weeze210 wrote: »

I'm not happy, the kids aren't happy and its all my fault.

No.

A decision was made by both you and your OH (although the percentage of this decision seems to have been more on his side), and it may have been a wrong decision.

You can, however, start to try and fix this.

The advice you have been given from other posters is fantastic and I can't add anything, but please stop thinking the way you are in that bit I quoted.

HeatherintheHills

weeze210 wrote: »

He says he has to do the bike thing as he doesn't want to let them down and it will be worth it when the 'new and improved bike school opens in November'. He sees it as investing time now to gain a full time job in the future. I thought it was all a good idea before we moved but the reality isn't what I imagined.

He doesn't want to let them down, yet they let him uproot you all in the expectation of a job then told him there wasn't one. Now they hold the carrot of a job in November in front of him. What if another family member just happens to need a job then? It doesn't sound as if he has been given a cast iron guarantee? If he is working for them for peanuts now what incentive is there for them to change this stuation? It sounds as if your OH is so determined to be involved in the bike school that he will sacrifice everyone and everything for it.

The question is, how much more are you, your son and your daughter willing to allow him to sacrifice for his ambition?


It really is time he put his family first.

Turtle

Hope you feel better soon OP and that OH gets the bathroom sorted. Just to add, I've had a look at the local newsletter that someone has found for you and there's loads going on! Lots of interesting things for you to try and the street party for the Jubilee will be a great way to try and integrate into the community a bit more.

weeze210

Hi all, I've been visiting my family and it was lovely to get away. I even had a gorgeous shower at my moms. I've had a good think and am feeling a bit more positive. Hubby is not at work tomorrow so I'm putting my foot down and he will get the bathroom done. There aren't any bike schools next weekend so anything that isn't finished in the bathroom he can do then.
I have told him I've been to the doctors and what they said and what they gave me, he obviously didn't realise how bad things were by his reaction.
Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to offer support and ideas. x

HeatherintheHills

How is the bathroom going?

weeze210

HeatherintheHills wrote: »

How is the bathroom going?

The wall has been plastered and the toilet pan is in but we have to use a bucket of water to flush it. Hubby is now away till friday, hopefully more progress next weekend.
At least the sun is shining for a change, off to the vets in a min to take the dog hopefully for the last check up on his foot. Although when got back from my mom's the dogs foot no longer had a bandage on. Hubby said it got wet and fell off! I manage all week, in the rain to keep it dry and hubby has him for a sunny weekend and it gets wet. I just hope it hasn't set us back. He's not the one who's got to explain to the vet where the bandage has gone!
Teacher from my sons school should be ringing me today after he has spoken to my son. I just hope we can find out what's upsetting him.
I'm really trying not to let things get on top of me but its really hard.

Mojisola

Hang on in there, weeze. Keep your eye on small things that can be sorted out, work on those and gradually the big picture will get better.

Have you had a big discussion with your OH yet? Is he aware of how bad you're feeling since you've moved?