I've no-one to talk to....

System

Look love, you sold your house (and i mean your house, not his) to suit the whims of your man, at the very least he can do for you is fix the bathroom.

MissMonkeyMoo

Hi,

I think you already have some really good advice on this post, and apologies if I end up duplicating or repeating whats been said!

I can't say that I have been in your situation but I have suffered from depression and it is a horrible thing. The worst of it is that many people can try and tell you what might help but sometimes you are so locked away in a dark place that you hear the words but they don;t seem to penetrate through.

I agree with several other people here that you need to talk to your husband and that he needs to support you more. Whilst I understand that he is working to pay the bills, your family, home and sanity has to come first. I don't mean to criticise but it's not right for him to rip out the bathroom and then not have the time to fit a new one! My OH started on our bathroom in January and all I had was a toilet for two months because he was busy with work too. I had just found out I was pregnant and was very ill with it, so I didn't have the energy to go and sort out bits of it myself and had to rely on him to finish it. Fair play, he did put a lot of graft into it and it's now 95% done (just a bit of tidying up to do really) but the difference you feel when your home is a bit straighter shouldn't be underestimated! If you still have things packed in boxes as well then it's hard to get really settled and feel like this house is your home. I think it would be beneficial for your husband to take a couple of days off work or the bike school and really get to grips with the house.

With regards to your son, go to the school and have an open discussion with the teacher. If he liked school to begin with but is now disinterested it could be because something in particular has happened? Or maybe, as someone else in this thread suggested - apologies, I forget who! - he may be picking up on your loneliness and depression and he may not even realise why he feels the way that he does. You won't know what's going on until you sit down and have a frank discussion with your son about it - perhaps after your have spoken to the teacher?

I really do hope that you start to feel more settled in your new place and that you get the support that you need. I think going to your GP is a good move, if only to talk about how you are feeling and get some counselling. Fluffnutter is spot on about not having perspective when you are depressed; you cannot view things clearly or even objectively at times and this makes it very difficult to know what to do for the best. You do need to try and help yourself though and by tackling small, achievable things you should start to feel more in control and back on track.

As for suffering with thrush for so long, I have no idea of you medical history or current circumstances, but I suffered with it for YEARS and kept going back to the Dr's time and time again. They just kept prescribing me stuff to treat it but never really looked at the cause. When I changed Dr's, my new one (on my very first visit!) told me she thought it was down to me being on the pill and swapped me over to the contraceptive injection. I didn't get thrush again after that. Talk to your GP about this and see what advice they can offer - there is definitely something that is causing the imbalance and they need to find out what it is.

Best of luck with everything, I really do hope that things turn a corner for you very soon. x

weeze210

Here is a background on my life so far
I got pregnant with my first son while I was a college. As my parents had always said" if you get pregnant we'll disown you" I left home as soon as I found out. I went to live with my older boyfriends family. Then we got our own place. He had a terrible temper and I was a bit scared. He started doing things to me while I was asleep so I moved into my older sons room and slept on the floo to escape. Then he tried to rape me. I filed for divorce. As it was a council house in his name they wouldn't rehome him until the divorce came through. 5 months of hell followed. We'd had a son and daughter together but this time. When at last the house was mine I did a mutual exchange and moved back "home", I had made up with my parents.
Them I met my youngests' dad. He cheated on me and I found out that he had a daughter just a couple of weeks older than our son. I chucked him out as it was my house. He harassed me, turned up at the house drunk and trid to get in by force lots of times. He'd phone me constantly, day and night. He took me to court for contact. He did used to see his son everyother weekend but with me doing the picking up and dropping off, but that stopped a few years ago as he moved and I refused to do the 1 an a half hours trip there and back. Plus my son never wanted to go, I only took him because of the court order. Then I realised that the court order didn't include me doing all the driving so I didn't stop him seeing his son he just couldn't be bothered to come and pick him up. To date hasn't seen his son for a couple of years, no birthday or christmas cards nothing!
I ended up in hospital with what they thought was meningitis but after lots of tests they put down to stress. I am 5 foot 10 and weighed 8 stone when I discarged myself from hospital as it was my sisters wedding and my daughter was going to be bridesmade.
I met my present husband when my youngest son was just four and was still getting abuse and hassle from his dad. I did have an injunction on him, but that made no difference and I had to have the police take himaway lots of times, very scarey.
Eventually he left us alone and we haven't heard from him for a few years.
Then my dad died, worst thing ever.
I bought my council house.
Then I got skin cancer, terrible.
I have left my paid for house, critical illness cover on the mortgage, and feel so guilty that I have ruined my daughters and my son's lives and its all my fault, I'm a terrible mother putting them through all that and now this.

System

Your not a terrible Mother but i do think you need to stand up for yourself more.

Big hugs

weeze210

MissMonkeyMoo wrote: »

As for suffering with thrush for so long, I have no idea of you medical history or current circumstances, but I suffered with it for YEARS and kept going back to the Dr's time and time again. They just kept prescribing me stuff to treat it but never really looked at the cause. When I changed Dr's, my new one (on my very first visit!) told me she thought it was down to me being on the pill and swapped me over to the contraceptive injection. I didn't get thrush again after that. Talk to your GP about this and see what advice they can offer - there is definitely something that is causing the imbalance and they need to find out what it is.

Best of luck with everything, I really do hope that things turn a corner for you very soon. x

I was on the pill and then got steralised so could come off it but that made no difference except my periods became irregular and so heavy I couldn't leave the house. I now have a coil fitted which has helped the periods but my thrush has stayed the same throughout.

weeze210

Spendless wrote: »

There's a BH w/end coming up for your DH to sort out the bathroom. If that's not enough notice then there's a longer one at the beginning of June. He needs to tell the motorbike place he won't be working that sat whilst he sorts the bathroom out. If that means you are down on income, then eat out of your cupboards for a few days. There are threads all over this forum to help you with that.

Ask if there is support available for your son via his school. That they have noticed too is a good thing, you can then work together at raising self-esteem.

We need the money to badly.

kazwookie

While your OH is away working all week, where is he living? in a house with a bathroom that works?

You need to sit him down and discuss sorting out the bathroom now, even if it means for a few weeks he has to not go to the motorbike school at weekends, at least if he got the toilet / bath / shower plumbed in that would be a start.

Next you need to get to your dr's asap, and ask for a referal as someone has already stated and get checked over.

Get to the school and chat to them about your son, sounds like this is already in hand, and while you are there ask about any job vacanices and see what is about / ask to go on a waiting list, that way working there will fit in with your son's school times.

weeze210

My son has started going to football training at another village but its just the training, they haven't asked him to be on the team. A lot of the others go to that school so just run onto the field after school. I have to dash from my sons school to get him and then to the other village. I sit in the car for an hour and a half as its too far to go home again. The other parents turn up as it finishes the kids jump in the car and they dash off again, no socializing there.
I'm a very shy person and don't know how to approach people. I was terrified of taking the dog to the vet as I hadn't been before. I don't know how to find out about things to do or places to go. My son is like me but the older two couldn't be more opposite. I have 3 sisters and a brother and they are so outgoing, I want to be like that. I'm useless.

Spendless

weeze210 wrote: »

We need the money to badly.

You need the bathroom MORE. It's affected your stress levels and would mine too, if I had no bathroom and just an outside loo. Your DH is going to HAVE TO take time off to sort it. If a weekend is out, then he'll have to take time from his week job. He will be entitled to so many paid hols. And please go to your GP and see if you can get referred for some counselling or similar for yourself.

fluffnutter

weeze210 wrote: »

I... feel so guilty that I have ruined my daughters and my son's lives and its all my fault, I'm a terrible mother putting them through all that and now this.

You're depressed. Get thee to the doctor's.