Am I wrong?

glitter03

Do you live together?

From the way you have described it you sound as tho you are two seperate families rather than one.

dont_know_2

Spendless wrote: »

Why when it came to her eldest's daughter the deciding factor was whether 'us' could go, inc you and your sons, and it led to none of you going, but not when it comes to this years hols?

My partner decided on us not going last year, the cost 1 thing, and meant taking 2 of the 3 youngster out of school when it was likely to be exam time, In the end her father over ruled her and took her out of school anyway, but there's no way I would have stopped my partner going on her own if she chose to go

searz

The 'Family' bit seems a bit lost, cant you go on a cheaper holiday?
if it was your son getting married how would you feel?

my partner took his kids abroad last year without us and it made me feel like i had no importance at all.

you have to be a proper family if they were all biologically both of yours then this problem wouldn't even occur.

hard choices

dont_know_2

glitter03 wrote: »

Do you live together?

From the way you have described it you sound as tho you are two seperate families rather than one.

Sense some sarcasm there!
But yes, there are only 3 of us at home, my 2 boys live with their mother

glitter03

dont_know wrote: »

Sense some sarcasm there!
But yes, there are only 3 of us at home, my 2 boys live with their mother

Sorry if it came across like that but no sarcasm i promise....i was just curious

Stephb1986_2

I will give you a honest opinion. Yes you are being selfish why couldn't you of booked a cheaper holiday and all of you go?

My opinion is that you see it as your family and her family your not all one family. How long have you been together??

My mum is in a second marriage I currently live with my mum and step dad, I also have a brother and step sister, I am getting married soon and my mum and step dad have agreed to pay for something from my wedding which is a few hundred quid instead of having a wedding present. But we've always gone on holiday as a family what your doing is making a divide between you all which is totally out of order.

Do you live with her or she live with you or have a place together?

You really should book a "family" holiday where all of you go not just you and your boys and her and her girls.

Googlewhacker

Mojisola wrote: »

As you've both agreed to this pro rata of system of finances all the time you've been together, I think she's being unreasonable.

I couldn't live like that but, as it's worked for you up to now, I don't see how she can complain. She's spending her money on her children - presumably her youngest daughter will be going to her sister's wedding. Her youngest daughter also had the trip abroad to the other wedding which your boys didn't get. This time she gets to stay home with Mum while you and your boys have some time together.

I agree with this

Googlewhacker

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I will give you a honest opinion. Yes you are being selfish why couldn't you of booked a cheaper holiday and all of you go?

My opinion is that you see it as your family and her family your not all one family. How long have you been together??

My mum is in a second marriage I currently live with my mum and step dad, I also have a brother and step sister, I am getting married soon and my mum and step dad have agreed to pay for something from my wedding which is a few hundred quid instead of having a wedding present. But we've always gone on holiday as a family what your doing is making a divide between you all which is totally out of order.

Do you live with her or she live with you or have a place together?

You really should book a "family" holiday where all of you go not just you and your boys and her and her girls.

The partner is just as at fault, she knew there would be a cost of a holiday yet she is plowing all her money into the wedding...that is her choice

Rebecca01

searz wrote: »

The 'Family' bit seems a bit lost, cant you go on a cheaper holiday?
if it was your son getting married how would you feel?

my partner took his kids abroad last year without us and it made me feel like i had no importance at all.

you have to be a proper family if they were all biologically both of yours then this problem wouldn't even occur.

hard choices

I agree with this . You have to be a proper family or you get situations like this. If my OH did this I would be cross to. You should both agree on the once in a life time spends for the wedding , then work out something for a holiday. Even if its just cheap days out , as a family.

It sounds like you dont share your finances as an equal pot anyway, maybe you could discuss this together and everyone woukd be happy. Just an idea, its not for everyone.

I hope you can sort it out

VfM4meplse

Clearly, family means different things to different people, and the 2 of you haven't really integrated yours.

The fact that your OH's other daughter chose to marry knowing that her own mother couldn't join her tells us everything we need to know about the level of dysfunction that exists in your OH's family without the addition of your clan. I find it all very bewildering and wonder why exactly you are together if you can't reach agreement on this straightforward matter.

You can still spend quality time with your boys in the summer w/o going away. As a child, my parents never had the money for holidays - but since we've grown up, I've seen the world, and so have my siblings.