Childs party DD not invited

shellsuit

You said she's taking 6 of them to the cinema. Does the Mum have a 7 or 8 seater car maybe, and it just turns out that the girls chosen were wanted there more than your daughter was, and that there is no more room for any other children to go?

Don't forget, it's the girls party, not the Mum's, so the child may have chosen who she wants to attend and for all we all know, the Mum could be feeling rotten over it herself?

I wouldn't ask them about it at all. If you do, you know what Chinese whispers are like, things could be said about you making a big deal of it and then your daughter may get invited to parties in the future through pity, ot not invited to anymore at all.

miss_hh

The girl is entitled to invite who she wants to her own birthday party. It is unfortunate that your daughter is not flavor of the week. Having 3 daughters myself, I would advise that you put this behind you. Your daughter will have a lot more than this to deal with during her school years. Wait until all her friends have fallen out and excluding her - now that is tough.

Please dont make an issue of it, especially in front of your daughter as she will be excluded from lots of occasions during her schooling life.

Hanky_Panky

The same thing happened to my daughter about 8 weeks ago - didn't get invited to one of her friend's 7th birthday parties - it was a disco as well so numbers were not the issue. Wifey and I just put it down to one of those things albeit a bit surprised that the mother hadn't mentioned it to her daughter as both had been frioends since pre-school, been round for tea at each others homes on numerous occasions. Explained to our daughter that it wasn't a very nice thing to happen to her but that sometimes these things happen and just needed to make the best of it.

It's my daughters birthday this weekend and we were sorting out the list of friends to invite a week or so ago and one of the first names on the list was friend above which just shows that at the very least my daughter does not hold a grudge - one of the proudest moments of my life . Also goes to show that at this age feelings about each other change within minutes.

kazmc

I havent read the whole thread but just wanted to say...

I have had this happen to my DD with her 'best' friend and EVERY girl in the class was invited except my DD.

To me I think this says more about the mother. I would NEVER allow my DD, who is 10 now, to have such bad manners to leave someone out whether she wanted them at her party or not. The rule is she either invites every single person from her class or just does something different from a party and invites 2 or 3 special friends. My DD wanted a disco one year and I made her invite someone she wasnt keen on but I couldnt bear the thought of someone being upset because they had been left out and manners to me are of utmost importance.

The girl mentioned above left the school shortly after her party and I never spoke another word to the mother before she left, I was disgusted with the way she allowed her daughter to behave, and I had no respect for her after that.

Wrong or right, I have no idea but its what I felt at the time.

thatgirlsam

I also think it would be the height of rudeness to ask why you didn't get an invitation!

This has happened to my dd once and I just explained that she wouldn't be able to invite the whole class so why did she think she should be included in every party going?

Some you get invited to, some you don't. That's life kiddo.

Really, can't beleive people are saying have a confrontation, make her feel guilty, cause a massive hoohaa over a party invite!

FatVonD

Could you fit in a visit to the cinema before the party then say 'I hear you're going to see xyz for xxxxx's birthday party, we saw it the other night, it's hilarious, they're going to love it!

That way you're seen to be accepting of it with no (visible) hard feelings but the 'I hear you're going' gets across that you didn't receive an invite (if you were meant to) and she can say, 'did you not get the invite?' if that's the case. If she doesn't then you know she wasn't invited.

I'd think it's down to number of seats in a car tbh and it's heartbreaking but we've all been there

Mara69

I am another one that thinks the OP needs to let it go. When my children had parties, I asked them who they wanted to invite. It was their party and therefore their choice. I was not going to to force them to have to spend their special day with someone they didn't like. If a mother had approached me, I would have been very blunt "Your child was not invited because my child did not want to invite them".

LittleMrsThrifty

If you want to have a word with the child's mum I'd phrase it as you just wanting to make sure everything is okay between the two girls. Explain you were surprised she wasn't going to her birthday party as they have always been such good friends in the past and want to check that your daugher hasn't done anything to upset her daughter.

jellyhead

Taadaa wrote: »

I'd say to hell with them. And ld find out what they were seeing and take my daughyer to see it first so that she can tell the birthday girl all about it. Muahahahaha

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

It probably is about the seats in the car - plus she can't really invite your daughter without inviting your other daughter.

I don't understand why she hasn't invited you to drive both of your daughters there yourself though, if she knows you quite well and both of yours invite her daughter to their parties. That's just me though - I always invite anyone who has previously invited my child to their party.

Easy for me to say though because my child isn't very popular. He's in year 2 and is fine about not being invited to parties, even if I sometimes feel slighted on his behalf.

I wouldn't speak to the mum at all. If the invite had somehow got lost then she'd ask you for a yes or no herself, wouldn't she?

Amanda65

Another vote here for letting it go. I have two daughters, now 20 and 18 and girls fall out quite regularly - and then as other posts have shown then become best friends again just as quickly. If you think this is difficult wait until Yr 4 / 5 - it's a nightmare :eek: