Childs party DD not invited

londonsurrey

Mojisola wrote: »

Parties can cause problems the other way round, too. My son brought home a party invitation. I didn't know the other boy and asked him if he wanted to go. He said he didn't - he never played with the other boy who was one of a group who always caused problems in class.

I sent a "No, thanks" and a nice birthday card. The boy's mother then caused a scene in the playground, having a go at those who had refused the invites.

In view of the mother's disgraceful behaviour, may I commend you on both you AND your son's judgements on what turned out to be a narrow escape. Lol.

Can you just imagine what kind of treatment your son would have been subjected to at a party where the boy and his mother were in charge of the environment?

londonsurrey

loracan1 wrote: »

Back in 1977/78 I went into school one day to find my best friends all talking about a new film that was coming out. I told them it was going to be rubbish, massively over-hyped and I'd not want to watch it in a million years. Got a bit miffed when I didn't get invited to one girl's birthday 'do'...until I found out it'd been a cinema trip to Star Wars...

Oh dear. ROFL

CKhalvashi

loracan1 wrote: »

Back in 1977/78 I went into school one day to find my best friends all talking about a new film that was coming out. I told them it was going to be rubbish, massively over-hyped and I'd not want to watch it in a million years. Got a bit miffed when I didn't get invited to one girl's birthday 'do'...until I found out it'd been a cinema trip to Star Wars...

I was also blunt at school (although I was educated in the USSR, so bluntness is quite common)

We’ve always taken the DD in questions class somewhere, with a few volunteer parents to help in many cases (class of 14, my 7-seat car and a 17-seat minibus I’ve ‘borrowed’ out the office on a Fri night), so seating has never been a problem, although at the same time, I think the difference here is that we’ve always been high-earners, despite having our children in out late teens/early 20s.

DD2 (now 8) wasn’t invited to a party about 2 years ago, I shrugged it off and took OH and DD’s 1/2 out to Aroma (chinese restaurant on the Freeport in Braintree) on the afternoon instead to take her mind off of it.

Result = my kids happy, class happy, end of.

CK

FBaby

I remember the time my boy was the only one in a particular group of friends not invited to a party. The boy and mine were quite friendly so was a bit surprised, but didn't think that much about it as my son didn't seem that heartbroken. Then suddenly, I received a note with an explanation of how sorry the mum was that she had left my boy out, that it was an oversight and would never not invite him etc... until I got talking to another mum who told me that her son had been invited but couldn't make it and that the bday mum had said that as she had already paid for x number of boys, she would have to invite another one I didn't care at all, it was all about my boy having fun, he had a good time, I pretended to be very grateful she had notice the oversight!!!

Janepig

FBaby wrote: »

I remember the time my boy was the only one in a particular group of friends not invited to a party. The boy and mine were quite friendly so was a bit surprised, but didn't think that much about it as my son didn't seem that heartbroken. Then suddenly, I received a note with an explanation of how sorry the mum was that she had left my boy out, that it was an oversight and would never not invite him etc... until I got talking to another mum who told me that her son had been invited but couldn't make it and that the bday mum had said that as she had already paid for x number of boys, she would have to invite another one I didn't care at all, it was all about my boy having fun, he had a good time, I pretended to be very grateful she had notice the oversight!!!

Afew years ago when DD was in year 1 I think, she was invited to a party for twin boys in her class, and whilst chatting to some of the mums there it appeared that there was a party for a little girl in that class afew days later, but it was also clear that only some of the children had been invited, others hadn't. I was glad that DD hadn't because although she had never had any particular complaints about that little girl, her mother is truly awful. Long story, but there's no way I would have let DD go to any party that this mother would have been in charge of.

It seemed I wasn't the only one thinking this, because the majority of the parents whose children had been invited were not going either. Anyway, the day before the party DD came out of school with an invitation for it, so it seemed obvious to me that the mother had resorted to plan B due to the number of decliners. Not a nice situation, I felt quite sorry for the child, but my mistrust and dislike of her mother meant there was no way DD would have gone, and I didn't bother replying to the invite anyway, as we were "plan B".

Jx

tyllwyd

I had sort of the opposite situation - we had quite a big sleepover for my dd, about six girls or something like that at age 8. There was one girl who my dd got along with OK, but she was a bit on the outside of the group. My dd was reluctant to invite her, but we insisted because we didn't want her to feel left out. But without us realising, during the evening this girl had felt pushed out of the group, there was a big falling out at bed time, and the bad feeling between her and some of the other kids rumbled on for years afterwards. I still feel guilty about it now.

apesxx

Happened to my dd when she was 4 and in nursery. The girl who she called her best friend had a party and every other girl in the class was invited to her party but my dd. the girl had even told her she was invited but an invite never turned up. Just gave her a massive hug and bought her a treat with the money I would have spent on a present.

nickj_2

if your kids cannot cope with the disappointment of not being invited to a party then life is gonna be awfully tough for them , life is tough , things ain't fair , you're not always going to have your own way , you will be disappointed, but you have to learn to deal with things .
the best thing the op's daughter can do is give the girl a card , present and hug and say i hope you have a lovely birthday

fedupnow

It happened to me. When I was about ten, I think. I went to a village school and everybody, boys and girls, from our class (and the class below) were invited to this kids party except me. To this day I have no idea why. I went to all the other parties and all the other kids were friends with me bah this one. Heaven knows why.

It was all the worse because it was in a pub!!! Or so they all thought. It turned out to be in a tent and it piddled it down.

Anyway, the point of the post is, I felt very worried my mother was going to make an 'issue' of it. She was furious if I remember rightly. I wanted to play the 'I wouldn't go even if you begged me' card. My mother wanted to slap the other kids mother - so not cool.

I'm sure I only remember it because I was worried about how my mother would think I was a sad loner that needed her to step up and 'slap' for me. Soooo embarrassing.

To conclude: I was upset, but not half as upset if mother had 'made a show of me' by stepping up.

Of course we are all different.

BugglyB

Op for what its worth I think you have made the right decision. In my mind you have shown your daughter, when other people do things we dont like we have two choices, we can accept their decision and move on, or we can manipulate, bully or guilt trip until we get our own way. I know which kind of person will ultimately end up with the happier and more peaceful life :-)