Childs party DD not invited

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Six children? That's a LOT of money when you take into account 3D movies, popcorn, drinks, chocolate, hotdogs and everything else.

I stumped up the same for 5 friends last DD's birthday, plus a party in the house for 14.

the party of 14 with food such as chicken and special gluten free stuff because one of her friends has coeliac disease cost about 20% of the cost of the cinema.


But I have no shame - I will tell people that I can't afford another kid on the list. Probably one of the reasons that DD hates me this year

ciderwithrosie_2

How about if you say to the other mum casually 'Do you know if **** and @@@@ have had a falling out or something, has she said anything to you about it?, only **** is a bit upset @@@@ doesn't want her at her party - and see what she says to that. If you want to lay on a guilt trip you could add that **** had seen a really great present she wanted to give.

silly_moo

I don't think you should get involved, the girls should sort it out among themselves. Why don't get your DD to ask her friend why she wasn't invited?

zagfles

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Six children? That's a LOT of money when you take into account 3D movies, popcorn, drinks, chocolate, hotdogs and everything else.

Come on, this is MSE! Surely people here don't buy popcorn , drinks etc at a cinema? They're a rip off - we always take our own!! Even for parties (especially for parties;)).

balletshoes

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I would ask. If you know the mother and know the kind of person she is then you'll know if she's the type to allow her child to be rude enough to exclude only 1 child from her party. If she isn't then I'd double check.

How did the invitations come out? If they went through the school then I'd definately check. Perhaps less so if they were personally handed out.

I've had a nightmare with my child's party as one invitation went astray when they were being put in the book bags. Tbh I was rather insulted the mother concerned thought I'd be rude enough to allow my daughter to invite 23 of the other children and not her son. It's taken ages to get rid of the bad feeling. Children's parties can be a minefield.

its a mixed-year class, so I don't think OPs daughter is the only girl in the class not invited? I might be wrong though.

OP have you had visits/teas between your DD and the birthday girl very recently, or was it a little while ago? Just thinking it may be that the birthday girl considers your DD a friend but not her best friend?

We also had my DD in a mixed year class in her year 1 (with year 2s) and also in year 5 (with year 6s). In both classes she had friends in both years, and if she wasn't invited to birthday celebrations among those friends it was invariably down to limited numbers of invitations being given out - and so no need for anyone to feel aggrieved about it.

pimento

I'd say nothing but remember when your daughter has her next party (and you son his).
I also quite like the idea of presenting a cheap but beautifully wrapped gift and handing it to the mother.

mumto2loves

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

How about if you say to the other mum casually 'Do you know if **** and @@@@ have had a falling out or something, has she said anything to you about it?, only **** is a bit upset @@@@ doesn't want her at her party - and see what she says to that. If you want to lay on a guilt trip you could add that **** had seen a really great present she wanted to give.

I think I would go this approach.
Not ask why she hasn't been invited, but ask if the mum knows if there has been a problem between them. Say you think of her daughter as a really good friend and you'd not like them to fall out over something silly.

Fwiw, When my children have parties they *do* get to invite who they want, but if one of them left their normally best friend off the list, I would ask why and if it was because of something like - 'she used the blue pen and i wanted it' type thing I would get the problem sorted before the invites went out, because they'd be bound to make friends again before the party and then they'd feel bad about it. My 2 children are 5 and 8 so falling out with friends is a day to day thing rather than permanent atm. Also if they were having an 'invite the whole class party' I wouldn't allow them to leave one person out just because they didn't like them for whatever reason.

rrf494g

"Perhaps you could try it out and see if you get a curt answer from those who don't understand rrf494g?"

good idea

I, in fact, have three DD's most of the time. There are many occasions when they become 2 DDs and one OD, and we just live through it. There have been rare ocasions, thank godness, when we have had one DD and 2 OD's, and that seems to quickly become 3 OD's as the third DD wants all the attention that her two OD's have grabbed, and becomes an OD too.

That's being a M (Mum) or a D (Dad). Oh! can't use "D" that's too confusing - have to use "Da" .

gingin_2

[QUOTE=rrf494g;52701331
I, in fact, have three DD's most of the time. There are many occasions when they become 2 DDs and one OD, and we just live through it. There have been rare ocasions, thank godness, when we have had one DD and 2 OD's, and that seems to quickly become 3 OD's as the third DD wants all the attention that her two OD's have grabbed, and becomes an OD too.

[/QUOTE]

That's great. With three dd's/ d's what advice would you give the OP ( opening poster)?

Becks81

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I've had a nightmare with my child's party as one invitation went astray when they were being put in the book bags. Tbh I was rather insulted the mother concerned thought I'd be rude enough to allow my daughter to invite 23 of the other children and not her son. It's taken ages to get rid of the bad feeling. Children's parties can be a minefield.

Thank you for the replies, but this has helped me reach a decision. I am not one for confrontation, and I can just imagine how awkward this situation could get. So I am not going to approach the mum, I'm going to write it off and move on.

I really thought I'd be shot down in flames for this thread. So thank you for the constructive comments. They have helped I don't feel so bad now.