leaving children for 6 months

Humphrey10

kingfisherblue wrote: »

* your children could follow your journey on a map and learn more about the countries you visit
* you could post letters to them and they could collect the stamps (I know stamp collecting is no longer a popular hobby, but most chioldren are interested in them if they come from another country)
* you can see them frequently via webcam
* letters can enhance their reading skills and will give them something to look forward to
* you can gather small nicknacks from different countries - most kids enjoy receiving small presents, especially if you send them by post

My father used to go away on business trips to America (never for anywhere near six months though) and I remember all the interesting souvenirs (cheap nicknacks, not expensive stuff) and stories about the US. I don't remember missing him when he was away, I remember the excitement when he got home.

OP you know your children best. Will they cope with you being away for six months?
I can't be bothered to read the rest of the thread, but I see on the last page people are discussing boarding schools. You are not going to be dumping them with strangers in the cold loveless environment of a boarding school (I'm sure some people have positive memories of boarding school, but the only person I know who went to one doesn't have), you are going to be leaving them at home with their father. Many children cope fine at boarding schools, so I'm sure they could cope living in their own home with one of their parents.

Northern_Princess

Person_one wrote: »

Why did you make that decision?

I'm completely serious, I can't get my head round why someone who actually liked their children would do that, unless they were severely disabled perhaps to spare the child carer duties.

Because I was working in a different country at the time and my OH was posted to another country. My DD was 8 and there was no option to take her with either of us. I gave my career up 8 months later, as I said, everyone's circumstances differ,

Torry_Quine

I don't have children so I'm certainly not going to get into what makes a good parent from that perspective.

It is you and your husband who know them best and how it would hopefully pan out. Personally I couldn't be apart from my husband for that long unless absolutely essential.



I also don't get why someone would put their children in a boarding school unless essential for forces children for instance but then again I hated going away for a weekend trip.

Welshwoofs

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

If you really do mean best start in life, then I assume you're talking about young children boarding (traditionally many go at 8), in which case I honestly don't believe that is true, deep down for the majority of parents. At 13+ I can imagine that to be the case, because those five years are huge in child development terms. (I have a 12 year old and it's striking me daily how she's more like an adult in her behaviour and maturity than a young child.)

I mean start in life as in preparation for the adult world - academic education, independence, life skills. I'm not talking about ages. Personally I think 8 is a wee bit young and if I'd have had a child I've had sent them to boarding school from age 11.

As a nation, we are ridiculously obsessed with exam results.

We are and that is another reason why I think boarding school gives the best education because they're not all about exam results - they tend to focus on giving a 'broad education'. For instance, if I'd have had a child they'd have gone to Cheltenham Ladies (which is the traditional school for my family's females) and outside of class times they do such things as bushcraft, learning to sail, hiking, cooking, sign language, shooting....in fact everything from dance to fencing. You simply do not get that range of activities in most state schools and in rural areas like this, there aren't that range of independent classes either.

quantumleap

Welshwoofs wrote: »

I mean start in life as in preparation for the adult world - academic education, independence, life skills. I'm not talking about ages. Personally I think 8 is a wee bit young and if I'd have had a child I've had sent them to boarding school from age 11.



We are and that is another reason why I think boarding school gives the best education because they're not all about exam results - they tend to focus on giving a 'broad education'. For instance, if I'd have had a child they'd have gone to Cheltenham Ladies (which is the traditional school for my family's females) and outside of class times they do such things as bushcraft, learning to sail, hiking, cooking, sign language, shooting....in fact everything from dance to fencing. You simply do not get that range of activities in most state schools and in rural areas like this, there aren't that range of independent classes either.

Just out of curiosity, (and I'm being genuine here) when did this thread become about boarding school? Have I missed something in the OP's post? (I may have as I've just skimmed the last few pages)

Mad-Frog

Humphrey10 wrote: »

My father used to go away on business trips to America (never for anywhere near six months though) and I remember all the interesting souvenirs (cheap nicknacks, not expensive stuff) and stories about the US. I don't remember missing him when he was away, I remember the excitement when he got home.

My Dad used to go away (with my Mum sometimes) in the 70's there were no gummy bears so he always brought these home to us, that's all I remember gummy bears not missing my dad

Kimberley I think you should go for it, short term pain for long term gain and all that
I see you have already shown the children where you would be going on an Atlas, why don't you get Dad to to do a scrapbook with them of where you have been etc, then they can 'follow you' as it where and if possible when you come back you could give them all sorts to fill in their scrapbook

I also think those who have belittled your career rather insulting to hairdressers, considering it is a craft that has to be taught and learnt and studied.

I say go for it, if it enhances family life in years to come it can only be a good thing, and I don't believe that you are abandoning your children as some have said as long as the whole family are in agreement with the decision

HelenYorkshire

OP - I've mainly skimmed through the replies/debate.

I don't have kids, but I wouldn't dismiss the 6 months away. Maybe ask the kids to write a "diary entry" about how they really feel about it, in case they're reluctant to say it to your face (kids won't want to "disappoint" you..?)

Plenty of families cope with one partner being away, and someone mentioned if you were the father, no one would blink at it - true I think.

If you didn't go, would you spend the 6 months pining for what might have been a glittering showbiz career (things you don't get to do always become more fantastical)? Would your family feel bad for "holding you back"?

I like the post above saying about webcams, postcards, tracking your voyage, souvenirs etc. Think how much they could learn about different cultures and languages!

And 6 months is not that long out of a whole lifetime

FatVonD

How will the kids feel tracking mum's voyage only to see her come back to the starting port and not come to visit them before starting all over again? (With dad saying 'only another 11 more laps of the same places, kids, before she comes home. What, it's not so exciting putting on the stickers another 11 times?')

OP, I find it really odd that you are so adamant that you won't be able to see your husband or kids at all in the 6 months. If it were me (which it wouldn't be) I'd be finding out where my longest stopover would be and searching flights and accommodation for them to come out to see me. I'd be booking rooms in the start port for my change of passengers day even if it meant I only got to see them for a couple of hours yet it seems like you just want to escape your current life?

I think you are doing that thing you see on Jeremy Kyle with monotonous regularity where a woman settled down too young and then suddenly wants to make up for everything she missed out on. It usually takes the form of the woman going out clubbing while the dad stays at home looking after the kids hoping and praying she'll get it out of her system but you seem to be taking it to extremes by wanting to go away for 6 months with no contact whatsoever!

I don't think you'll go back to your husband at the end of the trip but I think you probably know that.

FatVonD

PS Without wishing to be disparaging about your job (I too am in a job that is skilled and creative but not likely to change the world) but it isn't one that requires you to work on a cruise ship for career advancement.

babymoo

I'm not a parent but there is no way I could leave my DP for 6 months let alone any children. If you were young free and single i'd be saying go for it but you have responsibilities now.

What would you do if a month down the line your children decided enough now I really need mummy, would you carry on for another 5 months knowing it is hurting your children or would you be on the next flight home?

What if god forbid your husband has an accident and can't look after your children or one of your children ends up in hospital, what would happen then?

According to this thread you have just started a business so why on earth do you want to leave so soon after going into business would it not be better to concentrate on that? I would have this opinion regardless of your chosen career.

If you have a back up plan for every eventuality then perhaps it's worth considering but at the moment you sound like a fed up mummy stuck in a rut who has been offered a way out and your not bothered about what you will leave behind.