leaving children for 6 months

cottonhead

If it were me I would not leave my kids for 6 momths. I would miss them too much and as much as my husband loves our child, I wouldnt want to put that stress on him. I think it would have a negative impact on our relationship.
Its a very self indulgent thing to leave your kids that long for a job. I put my career on hold when I became a mum. It sounds blunt but I think you should accept your kids have to come first. I doubt they will adjust well to having you gone for 6 months so for that reason alone I wouldnt do it.

lindsaygalaxy

I think you would actually regret it. 6 months is a long time - birthdays, christmas etc you will miss out and so will they. They will get used to you not being there and you will get used to your independence. How will it effect your relationship with your husband? If it was a man asking the same question I would say the same thing.

geekgirl

I wouldn't do it myself but I also wouldn't look down on someone who did.

My partner had the opportunity to work away for 2 weeks on a fantastic project with a large pyrotechnics company. I didn't want him to go but didn't say as I didn't want him to resent me later on for making him miss the opportunity.

But as it happens he really enjoyed the job but missed us all too much and didn't want to go again, and hasn't until the kids were older.

Byatt

I couldn't do it, the actual missing of my child when she was on a school trip for 5 days was a physical ache.

I think however, you need to consider your reasons for wanting this job? Are you longing for that feel of freedom/excitement from single days. Are you prepared for the shift that could occur in your relationship with your OH? Have you discussed with your children?

Men, generally speaking get the chance to be away without the guilt trip, people in the forces are away, but I suspect people see that as a good cause rather than a job on a cruise line. It does sound like it could be glamorous and fun, but it can also be boring, not paid that well and very hard work. Is the job going to be good for your long term career? Or is it just a chance to be single again and free of responsibility. Believe me, I'm not judging you for that, because I have had moments when I've wanted to get away from it all.

Welshwoofs

Person_one wrote: »

You say that like sending an 8 year old to boarding school is just fine and dandy.

Honestly, I don't understand why some people bother having children, do they know its not compulsory?

But that statement comes from the assumption the people send their children to boarding school because they don't want to be bothered with them. I'm sure that's true of a few (just as it's true that some parents of kids at state school don't want to be bothered with them), but for the majority they do it because they feel that it will give them the best education and start in life.

Spendless

Have you ever been away from your children Kimberley? Mine have been away from me for several nights (DH taking them to relatives, away with school/cubs/scouts) but I have only ever been away from them for 1 night with the exception of when I had DD and we were kept in hospital for 4 nights. If you haven't are you really going to be able to manage not seeing them thru-out the summer when they are going on trips etc, not seeing them on their 1st day of the next school year up, not seeing them Christmas day and so on.

I put this scenario to my own DH when he walked thru the door tonight admittedly he thought it was a question to do with the course I've just enrolled rather than I've spent a lot of time today reading MSE threads :shhh: and he said 'We'd have to talk about it, we'd need childcare, so at the end of it you'd have to be looking at re-couping more than it's cost you to do it, but if it is go for it - but then he added, but I know you wouldn't do it'.

Person_one

Welshwoofs wrote: »

But that statement comes from the assumption the people send their children to boarding school because they don't want to be bothered with them. I'm sure that's true of a few (just as it's true that some parents of kids at state school don't want to be bothered with them), but for the majority they do it because they feel that it will give them the best education and start in life.

I only a few people who went to boarding school, but all except one were there for convenience due to their parent's jobs abroad.

Welshwoofs

Person_one wrote: »

I only a few people who went to boarding school, but all except one were there for convenience due to their parent's jobs abroad.

I honestly think that the people you know are rare ones and you certainly can't tar every parent of a boarding school kid with that brush. In my case I've seen both sides of the schooling coin, state and private and the experience was like chalk to cheese. If I had had a child I would have sent them to boarding school in a heartbeat because they would hav a much better education than the state schools round here could provide and I'd see doing the best I could for their education within my budget would be part of my parenting duty.

You've obviously got strong feelings about sending children away to school but I really wouldn't let your feelings lead you to believing that it's the action of unloving parents because that's simply not the case.

picnmix

Personally I wouldn't do it. I would hate to be away from my family for that amount of time.

Do I think there would be long term effects on the children, probably not, but it wouldn't be the long term problems that would worry me. The thought of putting my children, voluntarily, into any situation that would upset them, even in the short term would be the problem for me. I would hate to think of them being upset and wanting their mummy, and I wasn't there for them and wasn't able to be there for them.

I am a working parent, as is my DH, and have a career that I love and enjoy, but I have had to make changes to that, I will not say I sacrificed because of having children, as I do not feel I have, just feel that we made changes to our lifestyle to be a family unit. I know that as the children grow up I will also be able to start looking at moving up in my career to the next level, if I decide that I want to.

With most things in life I would say follow your dreams, but I'm afraid that once you bring children into your life, you do need to put them first, I have bypassed many career opportunities since having children, but they are my priority - surely that is what having children is all about?

To those posters who have gone along the lines of "once you have children you do not stop existing as a person yourself" well of course you don't, but you do stop being the priority in your life.

emsywoo123

Kimberley82 wrote: »

You also have the children who only went home for the summer holiday and stayed in school for about 9 months

Well, I am amazed. I, most of my family, and my daughter go to private (boarding) schools and I have NEVER heard of children only going home in the summer holidays!